Happily in love, but really, really sad?

Question

I am pratically engaged to my loving and wonderful boyfriend. He's very attentive and caring and means more to mean than most of the world. In fact, I depend on him alot more than I do my family.

However, as our relationship progresses, I am becoming more and more sensitive about everything. I mean everything! I'm madly (but not blindly) in love with this guy, but the more I love him, the more I seem to be prone to crying at any given moment.

A sad picture on the news, a sad movie, a passing comment from anyone that barely hurt but makes me want to sob. Tiny jokes about me bother me more than ever. I love his sense of humour, and I use to (and still do) find his jokes hilarious. But I find myself incapable of laughing, and most of the time, nearly crying. Even if part of me registers, 'Hey, that was witty and funny.'

If he hangs up first, I get teary. If he forgets to email me, I get teary. Etc., etc. This is RIDICULOUS. I don't have these expectations for him. So am I a raincloud?

Don't know if anyone will actually see this, BUT to clarify for future readers...

I am 21, and most definately not pregnant. There is chronic depression on my mum's side of the family, and it's taken ahold of my younger sister and my mum by the teeth. I, up until this point, have been uncommonly cheerful for our family.

And I don't cry to him. He rarely sees me cry because I don't want to lose him on "crybaby" terms. In fact, I usually hold most of it back. Mum would throttle him if she thought he was making me sad, and so most of the time, I cry when the house is empty. If I cry at all. I'm almost too busy with work life and friends TO cry...

Okay, I just realized the crying bit above doesn't make sense with my 'teary' confessions.

I get 'teary' as in, I can feel tears starting to come on, and that pressure hehind your nose, so I just don't cry. I get really watery eyes, and pass it off as allergies (a common enough excuse for me that no one thinks about it).

But, yes, the crying is kept to a minimum, like every two weeks or once a month. I don't like how I feel and refuse to give in to a sadness I don't want to feel.

Answer 1

OMG< this is the SAME problem I have as well. I wont say "hey look at the bright side" because it feels like there is no bright side to this sort of thing. I think you are so used to him and everything else, yet new exciting things are happening so you are becoming more and more emotional at this whole exciting new experience. I am the exact same way, but there are problems that come along with my guy. We are perfect, everything is well, as yours is, but his family is causing problems, so I know exactly where my emotions come from.

Have you talked to him about this? You could subconsciously be worried about losing him or have worries about the little things, like financial future, marriage, etc, and not even think about it, but on the inside you are still excited about everything that is happening for you two.

I say, talk to him, Im sure he'll understand. Let him know that you are having trouble putting a finger on what might be wrong, but that life with him is amazing, and you think you are just getting so overwhelmed with happiness, that is having an adverse effect on your super sensitive emotions. Im sure he will build you back up and make you feel better, telling you how much he loves you and expects great things for the two of you. If you want to, you can talk to someone as well, maybe a friend or a professional for a little while that knows how to deal with this. YOu may have depression, and that isnt always brought on by bad things, I have battled it for years. Dont let this go on too further, it could get even worse and have consequences. If you need anyone who kbnows exactly what is happening with this, because everything you said is ME at this exact moment, email me, I am here to help. Good luck, and remember what a great life you two have together, and if he is as terrific as you feel, he will understand and try to help. DOnt stress out about the little things, you two are obviously happy with each other. Good luck, and if you need anything, I feel the same.

Answer 2

Are you on birth control pills? If so, my friends and I have experienced depression and general malaise when the dose of hormones was too high. I was on the patch (which was supposed to be the lowest dose, however studies showed later that it was a very high dose of hormone directly into your bloodstream, causing all sorts of problems). For the entire year that I was on it, I was just generally unhappy... mainly, I just never felt any natural highs or lows. It was very odd. Now I am on Tri-Cyclen Lo and I am feeling back to normal. A friend of mine was on something else (I don't know what) and she had to go on anti-depressants.

If that's not the problem, then you might just be scared that you will lose him... and you might if you keep acting like this. Try to hide your constant stream of emotions from him. Its OK to be whiny/crying sometimes, but not ALL the time.

Good luck!! :) You will be ok.

Answer 3

You didn't say how old you were. You may need medication to help you through this time of saddest. However, all us gals feel some sort of depression, we may have good men, but are they romantic?
Men are stupid sometimes, because they do not understand a woman. When you know that have done wrong, they think you're stupid. Men are stupid, but we love them. They are stupid if they think the sun rises and sets somewhere else, when they have a good woman. Lets face it, their stupid. after the first sentence, their minds are somewhere else, when it should be listening to you, especially if it is to solve a problem.
Men are stupid...
But however, you are a little to sensitive to things. you may be depressed and not even know you are. You may be pregnant, because a woman's hormones are so in balanced at that time while they are carrying a child.
There are different things which can make you sensitive to other things.

Answer 4

It's okay. I think your emotions have become central because you're in love (which is an emotional thing) and thus you're more emotional than before. The same thing can happen to poets and artists. They spend time in a sensitive place and become more sensitive than normal. Maybe with time this phenomena will settle down and you will feel more normal.

Answer 5

I kind of feel the same way, so my guess is as good as yours!! I think i get this way because unfortunatley we get comfy with eachother and know we are together so we don't go above and beyond, like in the beginning of relationships to justify our love to one another. That is my only explanation??? It kind of sucks though. I wish things stayed new!!!!

Answer 6

i've noticed the same feelings coming up in my own relationship. for me, it's because i'm prone to depression in general, and no matter how good my relationship is, my general depression and sadness can still interfere. also, i have a phobia of loss, so i'm always afraid of losing him, which makes me ultra-sensitive to the smallest critique or tease, since my irrational mind is afraid i'm not "good enough" for him. i don't know if this applies to you, but i thought i'd share in case it helps.

Answer 7

your probably just a really emotional person. and thats okay. have u let urself love before? this is a tuff one. sometimes things in our past are triggered as we get older. such as a commercial or feeling neglected. it probably has to do with ur past. get over it so u can move on in ur future. he sounds like a great guy. if you think you cant handle it you should really seek counseling.

Answer 8

Well it sounds like maybe its a health problem like depression or pms disorder. Talk to your doctor about checking your hormone levels to be sure.

Answer 9

YOU need some friends and hobbies/interests outside of him. You will rediscover yourself again and balance your moods and life.

Answer 10

yes, you are a raincloud, is this the way that you can get and hold hi attention on you is by crying?