Some baptist churches require us both to be baptist, some catholic churches require us both to be catholic. The ones that do not care about our religion as long as we believe in the same God (aka the Non Denominational) will not marry us because we live together.
Anyway, other then Eloping and Justice of the Peace ... any other suggestions? ( and I feel horrible about lying to the Reverend)
2007-05-16 15:58:15 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No Catholic church will require BOTH of you to be Catholic for a wedding. That simply isn't how we do things- and Catholics marry non Catholics in the Church ALL THE TIME.
In fact- a Catholic is required to be married in the Catholic Church or have the marriage preparation supervised by a priest, and a dispensation if it happens in a nonCatholic church.
The problem is that you are living together- which means to the worls you are having sex.
The sexual act is reserved to married couples or it is considered sinful. A Baptist and a Catholic OF ALL PEOPLE should know that!!
THAT is why no church will marry you. You are dooming your marriage to failure.
One of you move out, refrain from sex until you are married and you will have an easier time getting married.
Do it the way God designed- since God seems to have SOME meaning to the two of you since you want to marry in Church.
2007-05-19 10:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy_to_seven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation. I'm Catholic and my fiance is Baptist.
What we decided to do was to not offend either family we are having a Judge marry us.
You can call any court that's around where you live and ask if any Judge does weddings. You can still have the Unity Candle and any other ceremonial thing or reading you want. It's just not a member of any religion that's marrying you.
For me that was the only way that i didn't have to fight with a church, or lie that i don't live with him. This way we have the wedding that we want and where we want it. You can have it outside in a garden, or even a lot of reception sites have specific sites for the ceremony now. Plus they are usually cheaper. The fee for our Judge is $75.
But if you really wanted to get married in a church see if there are any non denominational churches where you live. Or even check out on the internet and see if there are any churches from other religions that aren't as restricted as the Catholic and Baptist are.
Good Luck!
2007-05-16 20:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have a secular wedding, but it sounds to me like you would like to have a solemn occasion that involves your God. So maybe a secular wedding isn't for you. The other possibility - check with the Lutherans. If you get some grief from them, remind the minister that Luther himself was living with Katherine Von Bora before they were married. Lutherans make an exception for pre-marital sex... as long as it is with the same person. The idea is that you may not be married in the eyes of the law or the church, but you are married in the eyes of the Lord.
At least, this is the official doctrine. Most ministers will give you a little bit of a hard time, but most will want to legitimize the current situation.
Methodists are usually known for being accommodating. If there is a United Church of Christ in your town, they would be the most likely to marry you, and the least likely to give you a hard time about the pre-marital co-habitation. This is the most inclusive branch of Protestantism... they welcome gays and single mothers, so why not two people who just happened to live together?
Meanwhile, check with your churches again. Really talk to the minister, and I'm sure that one will relent (probably not the Catholics - they often will not let non-Catholics be part of the wedding party).
2007-05-16 16:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Better the Episcopalian for economics and the hassels. Different parishes have different compliances. However, the Catholic church will allow a cheaper Indulgence (donation) financially to regain the graces to the Catholic Church if an annullment (divorce) is sought later on and the Catholic wants to remarry. Baptism is not a pre-requisite to marriage. As one of you is Protestant, the Catholic Church may request marriage seminars before the ceremony can happen in a Catholic church. Source: I've been witness (filled out the forms and did the prayers) to two Tribunals ceremonies in the Catholic Church so a divorced Protestant could marry the unmarried Catholic.
2016-05-20 16:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, but if you are anywhere near Cincinnati, give me a shout. I can't believe you can't find someone to marry you. The Bible says not to be married to an unbeliever, it says nothing about "religions".
To find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You will have a few to choose from, usually on the 2nd page. The larger bridal sites seem to get top billing. If you do go to the bridal sites, please visit the site of someone you think you might like. Those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info so you may not hear back from someone you'd hoped.
If you were living together to see if things were going to 'work out' then I might have a problem with it too. But you are in a committed relationship, looking to get married. And there are many who wouldn't think of living together that have sex, so I don't buy their reasoning.
Good luck to you
2007-05-16 19:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be loathe to marry in a church that won't accept me for living with the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with.. but anyway if you really want to marry in a church, I'm sure you can do it if you search around a bit. I grew up catholic and our priest was very understanding when my mother married her second husband after they had lived together for 2 years prior.
2007-05-16 19:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by sc3578 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I got married by a mayor of a small town who come to a senior center and married us like it was a hugh deal in a church. You are just not looking in the right places. We wanted something different because we had both been married before and needed a new start with each other. Something we neither one thought of before with anyone else. We also lived together for 4 yrs. before getting married.
2007-05-16 18:33:20 · answer #7 · answered by shymiss10578 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first daughter about a year and a half before I married her father, and we got married in a catholic church, without any issue. I would just keep looking, you will find the right Priest or Reverend, it just takes time.
2007-05-16 16:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, my first sugestion is to move into seperate homes for a while. If you really care about this church wedding, then you may have to make this sacrifice. Second, think about a co-celerated service. This way both of you can get a minister you feel comfortable with. From the discussions I have had with my pastoral associate, as long as a priest is present to give his blessing, then the marriage is valid in the church. I hope this helps.
2007-05-16 16:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jimmy R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rent a chapel, Go to a Unitarian Fellowship, get married at the hall, get married in a park, Call a wedding officiant. Tell me what state you are in and I'll send you contact information.
Believe me there is someone who will give you just the ceremony that you want and be truly happy to have been chosen as a part of your day. I marry nondenominational Christians all the time and you do not have to compromise anything you want.
2007-05-16 16:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋