Teacher versus Students ?

Question

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sarah: HIJKLMNO
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it is H to O



Teacher: Now Sam tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook



Teacher: Willy name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago
Willy: Me



Teacher: Tommy why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I am a lot closer to the ground than you are







Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George



Silvia: Daddy can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Silvia: Your name on this report card.



Teacher: How do you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Jose: Don’t bite any





Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Ellen: I is
Teacher: No Ellen, always say, “I am”
Ellen: All right, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.



Teacher: Can anybody give an example of a “COINCIDENCE”?
Johnny: “Sir, my mother and father got married same day same time.”



Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but admitted doing it. Do you know why his father did not punish him?
Johnny: Because George still has the axe in his hand.





Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny: Because of the sign
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: School Ahead! Go Slow

Answer 1

lol....**** that made me laugh....i lik ethe george washington one 10/10 ...gotta star from me

Answer 2

Profs vs Pupils in Flag Foodball Showdown Flag Football: Faculty vs Fledglings

Answer 3

wow girl these all are really funny and great you rocks and you is on the ball today girl because this is the most funniest teacher versus student jokes that i had ever heard in my life and i love them all girl good job and keep them coming because these really are so good and funny jokes and take care.

Answer 4

omfg that was so funny i liked all of them but especially the george washington one, the report card one, the 2nd one, the 3rd one, and the 4th one. nice job you got a star from me

Answer 5

very cute collection, but totally copied, so where the ones the other guy answered with. where do you guys get them from? I'd like to read more.

Answer 6

Good ones! All funny!

Answer 7

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no wife to go home to.... OR they do.


One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death.



"Oh, ****!" the woman thought, "what a stupid way to die."



Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into the air, catching the woman.



Delirious from shock, the woman shouted, "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!"



The man replied, "Do you suck?"



Stunned at this, the woman said, "No, I don't suck!"



And with that, the man let go of her.



"****!" the woman thought as she began to plummet again.



Suddenly, another set of arms grabbed her at the 9th floor.



"Thank God!" she screamed. "I would have died if it weren't for you!"



The man asked, "Do you ****?"



Absolutely aghast, the woman answered, "No, I don't ****!"



Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there.



Falling again, the woman thought that she would surely die.



Just then, a set of arms stretched out from the 7th floor. Not believing her luck, the woman shouted, "I suck! I ****!"



"****," the man said, and dropped her.


Little Johnny has always had a fascination with sex, and always talked to his parents about it. One evening, the conversation got around to talking about penis's.



Johnny's dad tried to explain it to Johnny in a child like way.



"Well Johnny, your penis sleeps for a very long time. Sometimes when it is around women, it wakes up, stretches and grows to about 5 inches long and..."



"Dad", interrupted Johnny, "That sounds a bit small. Mum said that Bob's next door is twice as big!!!"


While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"



The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.


A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.



"I had sex with another woman last night," he tells her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time."



"You miss me that much?" she asks.



"No", he says. "But it kept me from coming too fast."


"The porn industry totally shut down. They estimate that this porn shutdown has put over 6,000 actors and actresses out of work, 400 cameramen, and 1 writer."

Answer 8

I get all of them! They are so funny! How do people come up with these things?!

Answer 9

Made me chuckle.

Hey Teacher, leave our kids alone.

Answer 10

Attagirl, Sangy. Like them all.