Should I keep trying to prove myself to my Mother?

Question

So no matter what my Mom is always irritated with me over the same things. I'm not accountable enough, I'm not proper enough, I'm not goal oriented enough, I procrastinate too much, I'm too scatter brained. This is the kind of mother who flips out when I forget to do the dishes (when I use to live with her). She finally handed me the title to my car (it was in her name for cheaper insurance, but she's moving so she gave me the title) and then even after I already told I had insurance waiting for the car in my name, she calls up Allstate and cancells the insurance that WAS on it and then tells the agent that I'll be calling in for insurance. I told my mom I already got insurance and thanked her anyway, then she says "Well, call the agent back so I don't look like an ***". excuse me, how is this my problem? So anyways, bottom line, no matter what I can't be perfect for her like she wants. Should I keep proving myself or just give up since she'll never change?

Also, I'm always a disapointment to her. I use to always lose my job within 4 to 5 months, but now I've had my job for almost two years and she won't even give me a compliment for it. She just makes a whole bunch of negatives about how I miss days sometimes from work. I'm just frustrated because I can never please her.

And of course, it's natural of me as a daughter to want to look good in my mother's eyes, but I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore. Am I wrong for feeling that way?

Answer 1

you don't mention your age but you are not living at home so i'm guessing you're at least 18. i think it's time to let go and stop trying to please her. we all want our parents to be proud of us and see the good but even if they do see the good they don't always express it well or at all. stop banging your head against the wall and be happy. if you continue to listen to this negativity, it will only make you feel bad about yourself. who needs that? this doesn't mean to forget about your mom, just the things she says. when she gets negative, tell her you don't want to hear it. if she continues, tell her you're going to hang up and then do it. i hope she'll get the picture.

Answer 2

You aren't wrong for not caring any more. I don't care when my Mom gets ticked at me about nothing.

Sometimes there isn't much you can do. Just keep on doing what you're doing, and keep going. Don't do it just to get a reaction out of her; I'm really sorry to say this, but she might never acknowlege all the good you have done. I'm sorry you're in a situation like this. Even if she doesn't change, just be happy because you are a good person no matter what she says. You are your own person, and you don't need her approval to make you complete.