Can a baby get attached to its grandmother more than its mother?

Question

My Fiancee wants me to go to job corps with him once our baby is born. The problem is, I am afraid that if I leave the baby at home with Sally ( my mother in law), the baby will become attached to her and when I get back, I won't have the same connection with the baby as she does. Am I just paranoid, or is it possible the baby will take to Sally better because I am not around?

My Fiancee wants me to go to job corps with him about 9 months after our baby is born. The problem is, I am afraid that if I leave the baby at home with Sally ( my mother in law), the baby will become attached to her and when I get back, I won't have the same connection with the baby as she does. I don't want to leave the baby with Sally either, because the way she raises her children is not really my style. I do not want to leave my child one bit but he is persistant! Am I just paranoid, or is it possible the baby will take to Sally better because I am not around? I am not going to abandon my baby with someone I do not trust with raising children. I suppose the better thnig to ask would be, how do I break it to my fiancee and his mother who were so looking forward to it?

also, smartblonde, I already said that I am not gonig to abandon my baby, so please keep those kinds of negative comments to yourself, because obviously you aren't that smart at all if you don't. Thank you.

Answer 1

The baby probably will bond & become more attatched to the grandmother because she will be like his mother, she is the one that will be around him the most & will be taking care of him. You & your baby will still have a connection, but the grandmother will feel more like a mother to him. I think you need to stay with your baby or you will miss out on a lot. Explain the importance of being involved in your baby's life, explain that you want to raise him, hold him, see his milestones, & feel what it's like to be a mother. Tell them that this is your flesh & blood & is your first responsibility & priority. Don't go to job corps just because your fiancee wants you to, you'll only grow to resent him for "taking you away from your baby". They should understand this - especially the grandmother who has had children herself. Do what YOU want to do, not what they want you to do, no matter how they feel about it, you are the baby's mother, it's your choice what you want to do, not theirs.

Answer 2

The baby will be the most attached to the person taking care of it. You are having the baby. It's YOUR responsibility to raise it....not grandma! How would the baby have any connection to you after you abandon it? Talking on the phone isn't going to cut it.

Answer 3

i believe in the country you come from, baby develops relationships with everyone in the house and only then with the mother. this is wrong and is slowly changing. do you sleep with your baby?this will help develop a bond between the 2 of you. also carry her around as much as you can. the first few days will be difficult but if u keep doing it then baby will become more attached to you. dont worry, baby loves you, she just needs to know that u can comfort her too. next time she is crying you go to her and comfort her.

Answer 4

A baby is going to become attached to the person mothering him/her. A birth-mother provides the DNA and the womb, the real mother performs the role through out life, regardless of blood relationship.
Just look at an adopted child.

Answer 5

the baby gets attached to the nurturer at a very young age and it can change according to who does the nurturing! so the baby may become attached to the grandmother for a bit but when you are the primary care giver the child will become attached once again to you! i know because i raised my niece for 3 yrs and she called me mommy until i was no longer able to care for her and her mom got her act together , now she loves her mommy! and i say go for it while the child is too young to remember it! better yourself for your childs future educatin and employment is key to being successful and raising successful children! GO FOR IT! BETTER YOURSELF AND YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL YOUR CHILD THAT YOU WERE GETTING EDUCATION AND A CAREER WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG SO YOU COULD PROVIDE FOR HER WHEN SHE GOT OLDER (ASSUMING THE CHILD IS A GIRL) ! KUDOS FOR BETTERING YOURSELF! but i would not ever sign any type of custody papers cause grandma may get too attached and try to keep baby if she is that type of person! GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

yes, it usually the most common thing to happen.

Baby will form a strong bond with their primary caregiver, no matter who it's.

the good news is, the baby will adjust itself to new environment until they are 3-4 years old.

so if you are going to leave for 9 months i don't think that will be a major problem.

but, it's better to give the baby care for the first year of their life. coz you are going to miss so many moment and memories that will be irreplaceable. ( first smile, laugh, teeth, step or word.)

anyways, may god bless you in your choice!

have a blast with your pregnancy and baby!!

Answer 7

Yes, it is completely possible. A baby will prefer who ever it is with the most. And being a parent means you dont leave your baby to move with someone. Not trying to be mean, but it does not sound like he is thinking of the baby at all. The hardest parts of parenthood are the sacrifices you make for the well being of your baby, she needs her mother, not his.

Answer 8

I have seen it happen. My niece stayed with us during the days while my sister worked and she became very attached to my mother. But it's not the worst thing that can happen, my mother took very good care of her and she eventually got out of that behaviour.

Answer 9

I don't think it is a good idea to leave your baby like that. Sounds like your Fiance is selfish. He would rather have you with him than with your child?

Answer 10

Yes. It's completely possible and happens all the time.

My question is...How can you leave your new baby for that long?