Is there a prayer that I can say for complete fools?

Question

A guy came up to me the other day while I was visiting Mississippi and after seeing my kippa asked me totally out of the blue, "Excuse me sir, I was just wandering where were your horns? I have never seen a Jew before." I thought that he was joking, but he continued to ask me where do I affix them to and do they hurt when I take them of?

Okay I can believe the fact that he has never seen a Jew before this is after all Mississippi, but common sense would tell you that humans do not have horns?

So, is there a prayer that I can say for G-d to watch over fools?

Answer 1

In this case...Lo Osani Oved Cochavim

I had a gentleman ask me if there's a blood ritual involved in conversion. It was the first time I'd ever heard the words, "blood ritual," uttered seriously; so I thought about it and figured he ment circumcision, so I told him there is a circumcision requiremnt. Then he told me he thought the convert had to have a complete blood transfusion with a Jew. I said no, he is mistaken, and usually I try to find a way to give a sort of tertza as to why they might think these things, "What you probably are mixing up is...." but this was just way too out in the fields. When I said there was not, he said, "When did that change?"

Anyways, you could have explained to your new friend that people used to think Jews have horns because old English language bibles said Moses had "horns of light," but that was an awkward translation for rays of light, and that you have neither horns nor rays. That might have satisfied his curiosity and desire toreconcile his view with reality without completely abandoning his previous idea.

Answer 2

It's a bit cliche, but in these times I like to turn to Fiddler on the Roof:

-Rabbi, is there a proper blessing for the Czar?
~A proper blessing for the Czar? Of course, my son. Ahem. May G-d bless and keep the Czar......far away from us!
-Ahhhhhh...

Answer 3

Yikes!!!! How rough is it when we run into that kind of hating this day and age... more power to you for handling it calmly... I am guessing it was hard to keep your cool... I have to say this is one of those things that I admire about people who are spiritual (not necessarily religious)... The turning the other cheek... knowing that even if they are ignorant they are still a child of God!!!!

Answer 4

I think you've just experienced what might charitably be called red-neck humor. You can tell it's humor because he called you, "sir." If a Mississippi red-neck addresses you with a racial slur, run for your life. (Forget the prayer, it'll only slow you down.)

Answer 5

God is the only one who can judge someone. It's not exactly your place. I know, it's human nature and I find myself doing it as well, but I know I shouldn't. What I would pray for is that God bless the man because you are both children of God - although that's a bit general, I can't really think of anything. Just try to communicate with God about it. Although I'm at a loss for what to say to that man if you ever see him again...

Answer 6

"Lord, grant me the patience to tolerate fools, for I was once ignorant and helpless. Grant me the peace to avoid losing my temper and dignity before them. Grant me the compassion to say no word that will discourage their neglected quest for wisdom. And grant me the humility to avoid thinking that there is nothing I can learn from them."

Answer 7

Yeah, there is. It's a prayer called one finger. It perfectly reflects all feelings you really wish to convey in one simple motion.

So, send the one finger prayer and walk the **** out of there!

Answer 8

may be,he might have made fun of the orthodox Jews sporting two long locks of hair on both sides of their temporal regions,as horns!!

Answer 9

The only thing that can save you from that kind of nonsense is to stay out of that region of America.

Answer 10

Watch Borat and you will understand.