I have been dating my boyfriend a bit over a year, he is 30 years old and I am 32. We really love each other and I thought of him as my soul mate and the one I'll marry We are so alike romanitic and very passionate. But last 5 months we have been getting into these enourmous fights. I want to live together he does not right now. I want him to stop seeing this one manipulative friend of his he does not. We are both a bit controlling. So we get into huge fight were I provocate and then cry and he gets really mad. Last time he said he hates me. But it more like "shut up" "I'm done" "it's over". He punches his wrist into the couch and shushes me. It has happened that grabs my wrists and threatens to break the juice bottle I am holding. It does not seem like he would hit and I don't want to leave him. Need your thoughts. Is this normal? This weekend he decided we are going to try again and be nice to each other. He displayed new great behaviour during a fight. I'm still worried, what to do?
2007-05-16 10:12:56 · 19 answers · asked by losing my mind 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey.....get away......time will heal your heart, because it will hurt, you do love the man.........but it won't get any better and its only a matter of time before he hits you. Don't live your life like that. You deseve better. He is controlling and his anger gets the best of him....please please get away from it now......your future depends on it. Also......It doesn't matter what the fight is about or how intense the fight is.......saying "I hate you" are very strong words and for hi mto say them to you at all.........says alot in itself.....you just dont tell someone that you say you love that you hate them, no matter what the fight is about.
Please protect yourself against this man, he will one day hurt you if you don' get out of it now. Good Luck and GodBless!
2007-05-16 10:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. While he very well may have seen that he was going too far, and has changed, he has been physically abusive (grabbing wrists), so while you certainly can wait and see if things are changing, be on your guard.
You might consider couples therapy. I know you're not married, but if you both still really feel you are soulmates, then therapy might be a way for both of you to deal with the controlling behavior and other issues. In addition, it allows both of you to speak your mind in a controlled environment.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-05-16 17:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by coldlockdown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have said it seems he has a bad temper. If he had new behavior during a recent fight then maybe he has changed for the better. I would give it a chance but if he demonstrates the old behavior once again....get out. Good Luck!
2007-05-16 17:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't provoke him and make him mad and you won't have problems. Learn the triggers that make him mad and avoid them. He doesn't sound abusive but he may have some anger control issues. If this is the man you want to be with and he wants to be with you I would suggest counseling because fights will escalate whether you want them to or not.
2007-05-16 17:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by meetbleek23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he Is getting very frustrated and stressed with the arguing to me. Arguing drains a lot of energy from anybody, and can make people act In different ways. For me I tend to get very angry also. It doesn't sound like to me that he will ever hit you, but maybe when he gets like this you should keep yourself quiet and keep out of his way until he has calmed down again.
2007-05-16 17:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you would be to leave this man. He will only get worse. I'm sure you have goals and abilities that can carry you through the future.
2007-05-16 17:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is abusive. You both need to give each other space... not try and control each other. Be friends first, lovers second, or a marriage won't work.
2007-05-16 17:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get out of that relationship! If he is punching the couch and you then there is something wrong. And no its not normal!!
2007-05-16 17:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by The One, The Only... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you're incredibly controlling (telling him not to see his friend), and manipulative (crying when you don't get your way)... i think if you want him to change the way he reacts to you, you need to take a good hard look at what it is that YOU are doing to make him react that way and then change your own behavior
2007-05-16 17:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by adriana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea it is normal he just wants to take it slow so wait for the right moment and try not to get some guys mad.
2007-05-16 17:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Ahmad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋