Spanking your child VS Not Spanking?

Question

Whats your opinion on this issue??

Answer 1

I remember once, when my son was about 6, he kept touching food on the shelves in the grocery store after i told him a million times not to. He then grabbed a glass jar of olives for some reason and dropped it by accident, sending olives and glass everywhere! I hit his hand once and started yelling at him for not listening. He wasn't even phased by what had happened and I was very frustrated. A woman walked down the isle after hearing the noise, and instead of calling an employee over to help with the mess, she called one over because she said i was beating my child! Of course this didn't make matters any better and i had a LOT of things to say to that woman. Since that day, i never hit any of my kids in public for misbehaving nor did my son ever touch anything again in the grocery store. I'd give them a look and they knew that they would be in BIG trouble when they got home.
I believe in spanking. I have NO patience or respect for those people who threaten with the cops, told me that I was abusing my child or a bad mother. You then look at those people later on in the store and see them very frustrated with their own children, trying to get their kids to behave by saying "stop" and "no" a hundred times, failing to be firm and of course, seeing no results. And they had the nerve to say that i was a bad parent!? A swat on the hand or butt isn't abuse. If you believe it is, you need to read about an abusive case. I'm not saying "Hitting your kids is the answer to gettng them to listen!" because it's not. It was something i did very rarely. I punished my kids with timeouts and loss of privileges too. But i am in a huge believer in the saying Mind Your Own Business. I don't remember anyone else helping me in labor while i brought my kids into this world, therefore i don't need anyone else's help in bringing them up in this world. Unless you see a child in a LIFE THREATENING abusive situation, do yourself a favor, and move on. They aren't your child to parent, so don't offer your opinion.
I've always been strict with my children and I'm glad. They don't hate me because of it either. I've been told since my kids were little that they are very well behaved. They weren't born that way. They learned how to act through love and disaplint. Occasionally they wouldn't listen, but they never got to the point where they were walking all over me.
They're now 17,15 & 12, and are all very respectful, happy teenagers. They make mistakes, but everyone does. :) I couldn't be more proud of them and wouldn't change anything about the way i brought them up.

Answer 2

I personally am totally for spanking....I was spanked growing up and I feel I am a much better person for it. My parents never did tolerate us being disrespectful, mouthy or disobedient. My dad would take us over his knee and give us a good bare bottom spanking with his hand or belt anytime we stepped out of line. He followed up our spanking with corner time and then we had a long discussion with him about our behavior and why what we did was wrong and what he expected out of us in the future. I think more people should go back to spanking their kids....look at the way kids act these days, they are horrible!!! I would have never even have thought about acting that way when I was growing up. I got spanked from the time I was a little girl until I was 20 and I deserved every spanking my dad gave me. My dad was not an abusive man, he never once hurt me...just spanked me enough to give me a red stinging backside. I love my parents and can honestly tell you that I had a much closer relationship with my parents than my friends who didn't get spanked had with their parents. I even had one friend who actually asked me dad to spank her once when we did something wrong once. My dad talked to her parents and she went from a wild child to a very respectful young lady in middle school once her dad started disciplining her.

Answer 3

There is a definite difference between spanking and beating, and I think this is what a lot of people get mixed up on.
Somehow it became abusive to spank your child, but if you've noticed, almost everyone who touts this philosophy has very rude, disrespectful children. Or none at all.

Spanking is a good form of extreme measures. Such as when stealing cookies has become a recurring theme and "no dessert for a week" is having no effect.

I'm also a firm believer in competitive sports in gym otherwise the child will never learn about competition and failure (and yes, every kid NEEDS to experience failure in his or her early life).

I also believe in the learn-by-experience method. Cause and effect. Action vs. reaction. Bad behavior vs. punishment. Good behavior vs. reward.

I also believe that over-protecting children leads to many serious social problems, especially rebelling against authority.

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As a follow up, I've been on both sides of the "abusive" spanking issue personally. I had two father figures that had different philosophies. The first (and my mother) used it as a very last resort when nothing else worked. They preferred to ground me and use appropriate punishments instead. The second used it as a first resort, and a lot of times he didn't even spank but skipped right to outright beatings. I guarantee you that I was more likely to behave with the first guy than the second, and it wasn't inspired by fear. It's called association. You put your hand in fire, you get burned, you associate fire with the pain, you don't put your hand in the fire anymore.

Every parent has a different view. At least those who accept spanking (NOT BEATING!) a child are open to the idea of parents being able to raise a child properly without having to swat their child due to personal preference. Wish I could say the same for the other side of the fence.

Answer 4

Im sure Ill get a thumbs down but here is my input,. spanking is not a form of child abuse, beating a child is. All this time out and taking things away dont work for every child. Look at todays kids, having sex at 12, getting pregnant, doing drugs, have no regaurd for adults or authorities, why because people are scared to spank their kids because someone may scream abuse. I got spanked as a child and I turned out to be a good adult,

Oh above me spanking isint a form of violence beating the hell out of your child is violence.

Answer 5

I feel that I need to respond, since I was a child who was not spanked by my mother, except for one time when I was about 4, and I purposefully ran into the street without looking- she gave me a single whack on the butt, that didn't hurt anything but my pride. I'm now 32 and remember that day vividly. I think it depends on your style of child raising. My mother ALWAYS talked to my brother and me, ALWAYS explained everything, and taught us how to behave ourselves, without EVER using spanking. I think that when children know why not to do something, they respond differently. When they aren't told why, you might as well be training a puppy, because the child doesn't understand WHY it shouldn't touch the electrical socket, they simply realize, after a series of spankings, that the two events are related... basically, child + electrical socket = "NO! don't touch that!"+ spanking. It is simple classical conditioning, like Pavlov's dogs. If you teach child WHY, they are able to learn reasoning skills, and learn consequences for not listening. They will use their brains and problem solve, not just run around doing things by trial and error. Because my mother never spanked us, we were never afraid to tell her anything, and NEVER FEARED her. I think that was very important. It was a bond of trust, and even though we might get in trouble for something, there was never the fear of physical punishment at the hand of those we love. Since she respected us and taught us to think for ourselves, we respected her greatly, and often did not do the stupid things many children do, because we did not want to disappoint her or embarrass her. It was more of a punishment to see disappointment in her eyes than to be grounded or have something taken away.

Answer 6

I think the most important thing is making sure you don't "freak out" and scare the child. The best way to assure that your child has a calm, happy Mama is to be sure he's pretty well behaved. For many parents, this will involve a few spankings. However, it's up to you. If your child (ages 2-4, older than that you should not spank) "gets" a diffferent form of punishment just as well, like a time-out, than do that. The most important thing is that the child knows what to expect - when I do A, I get B as a punishment. Toddlers and preschoolers are VERY simple creatures.

If you go into parenting saying, "I'll never spank", you might just be the mom who's angrily yanking her kid around by the arm and screaming at him in the grocery store - which, in my opinion is WAY worse than giving him a spank at home when he misbehaves, so by the time you're at the grocery store, he already listens and obeys most of the time.

Whatever discipline you use, you need to be respectful of the child, calm, and very consistent. Spankings *are* more to the point, and they *do* work for the average two year old, as long as they aren't being used as "payback" for making Mama mad. By the time my kids are 3, they are told to go to time-out when they misbehave. If they refuse or get up and run away from time-out, they get one swat. They also get a swat if they ignore me when I call for them (and I'm positive they heard me.) This is a safety issue - I can say "stop" and even my toddlers come to a screeching halt and turn around.

What is a fair use of discipline? Choosing a method that your child clearly understands and isn't confused by. For your average 2 or 3 year old, spanking might be that method. Or not. - You have to know your child to know what's best.

If you are interested in avoiding spanking at all costs, then you *must* discipline in some way *EVERY TIME* your child disobeys you outright. Even to just stand there and physically prevent him from throwing toys, for example, can work. You just can't ignore misbehavior - it will get to you eventually that your kid doesn't listen. Otherwise, you just might get to the breaking point and lash out at the poor kid, which I think everyone can agree is bad news.

Answer 7

sturdy success to your essay! Being a discern you will have all the solutions already, yet right this is my experience in case you have an pastime: I actual have 2 daughters, now 11 and eight and frequently nicely-behaved. I do spank the two one in all them, and have completed so via fact they have been approximately 3 years old. i do no longer beat them up, in basic terms my hand on the lady's backside in the privateness of her room, with particularly some explaining and forgiving afterwards. i do no longer think of spanking (as antagonistic to toddler abuse) teaches violence - toddlers experience the version even however the spanking makes their backside sting. of direction spanking isn't the popular approach of coaching or self-discipline for me; i exploit it basically whilst words have not worked or the lady is brazenly defiant. For small infractions, I additionally get rid of television and workstation for an afternoon or 2. Spankings are reserved for severe concerns, and that they have got been particularly useful so a techniques.

Answer 8

I don't have anything against parents spanking their kids but I believe that I will only use that as a last resort when it comes to punishment. I want my son to understand why it is wrong to do whatever it is he does wrong. I don't want him to just not do something b/c he fears he will get hit. I also think that in some cases children believe that if their parents can spank or hit them then they can hit other people and I def. don't want to have that problem. On the other hand though some kids need to get spanked b/c that is the only way they will listen so I guess it is just a wishy washy subject.

Answer 9

I was spanked (not beat) by my father and I this kept me in line, and I never lied to him
I was beat by my other, so I would lie to her to get out of getting hit.
I spanked my kids, on the butt with my hand, they are just fine.
If I am blessed with more kids, yes I will spank them too. I have always used this as a last resort or if they were doing something that endangered their life, like running into the street.

Answer 10

if you spank it should be with your hand and that is it. using any object is not o.k. when i was a kid my mom broke more than a few wooden spoons on my backside and i dont think i am any better or worse for it. i agree with spanking as mentioned above only if they have been warned more than 3 times.