Okay, my step mom's a total pain in the a^#. She absolutely hates me, and I feel the exact same towards her. She always blames her and dad's fights on me, and EVERYTHING I do is wrong in her eyes. I can't do anything right. I really need some help dealing with her from an outside source, but she totally refuses to go to counseling with me and dad. She probably doesn't want to hear that she's wrong. I admit there are things I have done in the past that are out of line, but seriously, she's done more. She treats my brothers fine, and acts like they do nothing wrong and they're perfect little angels. But when it comes to me, ooooh no. I'm the devil in her eyes. And I try really hard to be nice, but not so that I'm fake. It's just so hard when she treats me like ****. On mothers day, I was nice and she was nice, but I could tell she didn't mean any of the sweetness towards me. It was only to pelase dad. Help on how to deal w/ her???
2007-05-16 08:03:21 · 15 answers · asked by kittyluve2010 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Depending on your age the best thing to do is keep away from eachother. When she married your father she excepted you and your siblings too! If now that they've been married, she is changing her mind, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Unfortunately you guys live in the same household so some things will be easier than others as far as avoiding each other is concerned. Good luck on this matter and remember you will be moving out one day and won't have to deal with the "Wicked Step-Mother" for too much longer.
2007-05-16 08:18:54 · answer #1 · answered by Bridget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. What can you do to minimize antagonizing your stepmother? Do you do your chores without being told? Do you make good grades? Are you always polite - a please and thank you goes a long way. Do you let her/dad know where and with whom you are going when you and pals go out and about? Do you ask permission to do things outside of the house?
When you are doing these things on a regular basis over a period of time (let's give it 6 months) then you can raise your ire and say you want to live with some other family member because Stepmother is a mean old witch.
And if your dad is willing to go to counselling with you, then go. That way you'll have a mediator to hear your side of the story and maybe then Dad will believe you.
Just make sure you have your facts absolutely straight - like write them down in a calendar - On XX date, I had to clean up after my brothers when they tracked mud on the floor. Stepmother accused me of doing it and called me a (ugly name) and was disrespectful of me. When she found out that it was my brothers, she never apologized.
when you have several of these situations written down, then present them to Dad in the counsellor's office. That way he'll be in the hot seat to rectify the situation with mean step-mother.
Of course, if you're rude and snotty and disrespectful back to stepmother, it negates the whole process. So don't lose your cool when she's mean to you. Just smile, do her bidding and write it down with a date attached to it. Just do NOT be rude to her - ever. That way she'll have plenty of time to hang her own goose.
2007-05-16 08:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy can I understand this one...
Listen I bet you and your Dad are close???
I think this is a jealousy issue, she probably feels like she is competing with you for his attention....
I know this is hard, but try to invite her alone out for lunch and talk to her...
Let her know your really happy she and your Dad are married now and you'd love to see everyone get along..
And sometimes, smile, breath deep and know her issues are just that, her issues...
As long as you continue to be the bigger person and try to get along with her, she's just going to look like a fool for being Bitchy with you...
Hopefully talking to her though may ease some of her issues...Good Luck..
2007-05-16 08:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your dad and step mom are in the same room, like when you're all watching tv or eating dinner, talk to your dad. say "dad, i dont like the way stepmom is treating me. " and proceed from there. that way, something HAS to be done about it.
just a thought though. do you look and/or act like your real mother? if you do that may be why she treats you that way. I'm not saying its right, i'm just saying that's how it is.
2007-05-16 08:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by Christi F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what just be yourself i have been in the same situation and the minute you change who you are to keep your step mum happy she will start walking all over you. All i can say is make sure you dont make it to obvious that you hate her that will make her hate you more. Just be nice dont cause any problems and if you just stop reacting to her behaviour it will show her it dont phase you no more.
Trust me it works i did that with my step mum when she cause loads of problems for me.
Goodluck....
2007-05-16 08:46:45 · answer #5 · answered by frogs are cute 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she feels threartend by you because you because she is jealous of the attention you get from your father. so, being kind to her obviously doesnt work so how about you just ignore her? i know that might be hard to do since you guys live in the same house but that might be the only thing that works. good luck
2007-05-16 08:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might be jealous of you. Just ignore her harshness & always smile. Give her more attention, act like she's your fav. person. Even if you have to fake it. It will get you what you want from her eventually.
2007-05-16 08:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by J Doe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep being nice. Remember, you can win more bees with honey than with vinegar, or something like that!
2007-05-16 08:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime she's mean to you, smile at her and ignore her. After a while she'll stop picking one you =D! good luck!
2007-05-16 08:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in direct competition with your dad for his attention. Kill your step mom with kindness-she'll wonder what you are up to!!!
2007-05-16 08:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋