Give me your honest opinion on this scenario... Help Please?

Question

I'm 20, I've known this girl for 6 months now... We spend hours talking to each other every day since day 1.I'm head over heels in love and have done things I'd never imagined.She appreciates everything I do and tels me she'd die without me.I know I'm a very important part of her life,possibly her best friend, she trusts me with her life and knows how I feel about her.. Now here's the problem...

She won't take it a step further in the fear of losing me all together If things don't work out,as she feels she's bad at relationships,which is something she can't imagine,losing me... and I obviously think we're meant to be...and long for more

I can't get myself out of this either... I'm too involved.. I'm too deep into it...

Will I always be just the best friend ?? What must i do ?

I'd appreciate guy's and girl's perspective on this... Please Help... No jokes... touchy subject...

Answer 1

okay, i think you should keep on being her best friend while still let her know how you really feel for her. Because thats what she is going to want in the end for a life partner. A best friend from a husband that wants to spend time with her.If you really love her you will wait for her. One day it will click & she will know you cared enough to wait for her. I know because thats what happened to me. I've been married for 27 years to my best friend. We have 4 children ,2 grandchilren . I have to tell you this, our third son was born handicapped. I don't know what I would have done if I wasn't married to my best friend. A man that stood by us for all these years . 3 years ago my son passed away at 17 years old. Believe me, I'm glad I was married to my best friend who understood it was going to take some time for me to be myself again. That parts been hard but, I am truely glad I married my best friend.

Answer 2

She's afraid of losing you and completely giving in to you for fear that it won't work out and it will leave her heartbroken. It's only been six months, that is not a long time. I know it's difficult, but if you really love her, you need to give her plenty of support and understanding. Gradually she will let her guard down. You two are still young, don't put too much pressure on her. Maybe she has never found someone like you that she cares about so much, and it frightens her to think about you losing interest in the relationship. As long as she holds out, she maintains some type of control over you, and that is where your problem is. But like I said, you have only known her 6 months -be patient; and find other ways to show your love so she will be secure in knowing that you won't leave her when she decides to take it to the next level. Good luck :)

Answer 3

Honestly a tough one. At least you've talked about taking it further. Good first step. There is a question that needs asking though. Does she feel the same way or is the 'not good at relationships' line an easy way out without hurting your feelings but keeping the friendship.If she is interested but a little uncertain then she could be feeling there's a bit of pressure and expectations based on your comments about your feelings. Fairly intense. Otherwise if she's been seriously burnt then it might take some time for her to come around. It's only worth chasing if your know she feels the same way. Otherwise cut your losses and be willing to settle for just friends.

Answer 4

Ok... wow i have had a similar situation in the pastt... honestly if you are in love with her you should sit her down and tell her and reassure her that she wont lose you, that is a fear that all women have when they get close to a guy, i am in a situation right now where i love this guy more than anything and he says he feels the same but i cant be to sure because its hard to trust and i dont want to lose his friendship if something ends up happening and we dont get to spend our lives together.
It happens quite a lot, i girl will be in love with her best guy friend but when they date or whatever, then they break up for a stupid reason or even a sensible one, it DOES ruin what you had and you honestly cant fix it easilly...
However if you reassure her and tell her that since you have known her for so long and since you want to spend the rest of your life with her, i think that after a while, and after you ask her to consider it and think on it for a few weeks, that you will be able to convince her, because its hard for a woman to lose a man that she has made her entire world practically.
Just have her think about it!
Ill be praying for you because i can tell that you really love her.
God bless,
Heather

Answer 5

hi, yes you are right it'svery touchy,
you must take this under considerstion too, that there are 50 % you stay the best friend and 50 % lover
my opinion you both just should wait a little longer to decide to take it to the next level or not
i'll tell you a personal story, i had 2 guys as friends, best friends, i got engaged to one of them and that one i lost because it's hard for him to keep being my friend after being my fiance and the other one still
friendships are stronger in that age " from 20 to 30" believe me i know
well, just wait, give your both selves time to find out the world then decide.....and one more thing, we" girls" appreciate having friends like you so your are at a very special level in her life, enjoy it now both of you and the rest let days care about it
hope i did you any good and good luck

Answer 6

I'm in a kinda similar situation. I'm ready to take the plunge into a relationship but he's not. For us it's distance and I think he may have had relationship issues in the past. As have I. The only thing you can do is give her time. Hopefully she'll realize your not going anywhere. I mean 6 months may seem like a longtime but it's not a lifetime. So time is the only answer. Don't pressure her about it either . I mean let her know your not going anywhere but your willing to wait. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think you answered your own question. You are too involved. Back off man. Give her some space. If she really have genuine feelings for you, she would anything for you. Also, from your scenario, I feel that you need to be more mature in your feelings. Which I think she is sensing this. SLOW DOWN. Don't run to the phone after the first ring. Give yourself a break. Deep down this girl knows very well that you will be there for her and I guess she is taking you for granted. And that is not a healthy relationship at all. SLOW DOWN to a turtle speed. Girls, in general, likes cool guys. BE COOL and COOL YOURSELF DOWN. If this is too harsh or difficult for you, well that's life. Try it and I guarantee you that you won't regret it. If she walks, she's not the one for you. If she stays,...... well the rest is up to you.

Answer 8

Okay man, DO NOT go the friendship route. This is a cop out of the Nth degree! On her part AND yours.
You have two options:

1.) Grab your balls and be her man. If she's "not good at relationships", then be better at them and show her what a good relationship is all about. If she blows it, she blows it. At least you didn't spend years following her around like a puppy dog "friend" while she boffs half the village.

2.) Sleep with her and be a "friend with benefits". Trick is, you can't be in love with her. This would mean going out with other girls to keep yourself distracted.

Answer 9

well does she ever tell you she wants more from you, other then being the best friend? if she's hinting that she wants you as a boyfriend, maybe you should sit her down camly don't get too frustrated or anxious about this just be the friend she knows of right and ask her what she wants out this relationship with the two of you?

if she doesnt' want anything more then just friendship, then you have to be okay with that...you can't force her into anything she doesn't want...theirs nothing wrong in loving your best friend...i know i love mine...and i do have a guy whose my best friend as well..but i know that our love is different then a relationship love...so make sure that her love just isn't friendship only too..you might be getting mix singles about all of this..

so deffently talk to her about this

Answer 10

Tell her that life is too short not to take a chance. That you will never know what could have been unless you go there.

Assure her that you will always be there for her no matter what... even if the 2 of you were to date and it not work out. that you would always be her friend and care for her (because no everyone is meant to be bf/gf--- sometimes just friends, but you don't know unless you try)