What are biblical ways to get my son to stop lying?

Question

He is six years old and lies to get out of trouble. The thing is he lies sometimes even when the truth wont get him into trouble. I need some biblical advise on this please.

Please don't answer with rude comments. If you don't want to give real advise then annoy someone else please. This spot is for religious and spiritual comments. Not for stupidity!

Answer 1

I've had the same problem with one of my children. What I try to do is when I ask a question (e.g. do you do this?), I make my child take a deep breath, count to 10, before telling me the answer. Sometimes the lying is just a knee jerk reaction, and they just need a minute to think things through and realize that lying will only get them in more trouble.

Proverbs 24:32 "Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction."

I am not saying that dicipline is uncalled for, however the child maybe better served, when we seek to prevent the sin, then only seeking to punish the sin. The Bible teaches that carefully consideration is a way to received instruction.

Answer 2

Teach him that the rewards for telling the truth are greater than for lying, no matter what. All kids test out lying of course, but I have found that kids most often lie because they are afraid the truth will get them in trouble.

I am always open to anything my kids have to tell me and nothing they say comes with a punishment. On the rare occasion they would lie, I would simply tell them that lying is unacceptable and that it makes me trust them less. The story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" works well as an example.

Answer 3

The only biblical advice that I am aware of is to take him to the city gates and stone him.


The traditional 'biblical way' is to preach at him how liars will be damned to hell. Make it load, make it graphic, it will help of you can little fleck of foam to spit from your lips. That should put him in utter fear of lying. The nightmares etc. are a normal side effect of this righteous teaching.


Why on earth are you looking for advice from a 1500 year old book, or a 3000 to 4000 year old book?


Seriously,

Talk to him. Make him understand that the punishments for lying are far worse than the punishment for whatever he is lying about.

Then it is up to you to make sure that this will actually happen.

Kids are smart, if you are consistent he will learn.

Or you could try a book on child psychology.

Answer 4

first you need to tell him...wich is not specifically written in the Bible...basic communication.

THEN, sometimes is light spanking is needed. Not very hard, just a slap on the bottom and let him cry for a bit/think about what he has done. Then go back and eplain to him why he got spanked and that its not because you dont love him.

Worked with my whole family and spanking was not needed after the age of 8.

Answer 5

Crucify him.

CD

Alright, as you're being so testy about 'serious' answers, I suspect I'm not alone in considering the Bible - regardless of my attitude to it - a little inappropriate here. A six year-old with a behavioural disorder probably doesn't need the wrath of God as a solution.

And instead of all this discussion about exactly how much *punishment* is called for, have you considered using rewards instead?

Seems to me that lying reflexively like this is indicative of something more systemic than naughtiness, surely?

Has he simply gotten into the habit because it works better overall than telling the truth? Does or has he often been punished for confessing to bad deeds? Above all, what's *behind* this behaviour?

Looking to serially-translated Bronze Age mythology for advice seems risky at best. Howsabout a little rational thought?

Answer 6

open a can of "Whip-***"! "Spare the rod spoil the child". The Bible says that you are responsible for your child's spiritual well-being, until they reach a place of understanding. Tell him that it is a sin to lie! And where sinners go and that God sees and hears everything. Then later let him know that God is a forgiving God and he loves him, but is not pleased with what he is doing. And teach him how to ask for forgivness. You are the parent and example for your child. So, stop trying to be his friend.

Answer 7

I wouldn't suggest abusing any child. But any child should be taught early that lying is bad.
The bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. This does not mean to the excess of abuse, but a firm hand on the situation.

Answer 8

Tell him if you will double his punishment for any lie he tells, and then do it.

As for Biblical punishment, I believe spanking can be effective if you do not spank in anger, only spank for rebellion and have a method for spanking (3 swats only) and let your child know what offeses are spankable. SOme parents make the mistake of spanking kids whenever they are annoying. Discipline should teach. It should not be used simply to control behavior. You want to raise a moral child not a well trained dog.

Answer 9

...he's just a kid. He should eventually mature normally and realize that excessive lying is worse for him (no one will trust him) than telling the truth and letting the chips fall where they may.

If anything, tell him about the story of the boy who cried wolf.

This doesn't really have anything to do with the Bible, and IMO a 6 year old really isn't going to care what the Bible says. At his age his parents are functionally his God anyway.

Answer 10

Read to him The Boy who Cried Wolf as a bedtime story... Explain how the boy kept lying and eventualy no one came for his help.

Give him reasons why lying is wrong instead of just telling him it's wrong. Tell him he could lose his friends because of it and you can promise him to forgive him if he does anything wrong as long as he admits to it straightaway and does not lie about it.