I've been pregnant for 4 months now. And I still have not moved in with him. He keeps putting it off and saying he wants to but not putting forth the effort? Did he get cold feet or has he just changed his mind completely? When I ask him about it he just denies any problems? Whats up?
2007-05-16 07:10:05 · 22 answers · asked by IamwatIam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's obviously going to be nervous because that is a really huge step... give him some more time to ease himself into it... i'm sure he means well.
Eventually though you will get to the point in your pregnancy where he needs to be around for you... if you get to that point and he STILL wont move in with you, then something is probably wrong.
2007-05-16 07:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally I think that three years on and off was no basis to try for a family and a home together. If he really wanted to move in with you he's just do it, there wouldn't be any difficulty. It sounds like he's having serious doubts about what he really wants, and the pregnancy will be putting even more pressure on him.
Be very careful. If there's even the slightest chance you could be left looking after a child on your own you need as much backup as possible. Rally your family and friends around and get the support BEFORE you get into trouble.
2007-05-16 14:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by Spazzcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try asking him about it in a different way. Start by asking him what are his plans for your move. Listen calmly and attentively. Then repeat back to him what he has just said and ask if you understood correctly. Continue with this question, answer, reiterate process and see what he really says and then ask what he is willing to do to help achieve this goal. Let him know that based on your previous discussion, you proceeded with the plan and have done XYZ to achieve that goal. Ask him for his assistance and tell him exactly what you want and what you need so that he doesn't have to guess. Don't assume that he already knows what you want. And it's really important to speak calmly and softly so it doesn't come across as angry or hurt because he might shut down and not listen or communicate further
2007-05-16 14:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hope that you didn't think that a baby would solve all your problems? Raising children even in a perfect relationship is hard at times and trying with a on and off again relationship is even worse. I have to agree with the idea that you might want to look into legal services to assist you in getting child support and thinking about a life without your semi-current partner as a room-mate....Good Luck...
2007-05-16 14:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by robert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you've been "on & off" for 3 years should have told you that maybe this isn't the right relationship for you - and now you're bringing a baby into it? Brilliant. If he wasn't willing to commit before you got pregnant, why in the world would you think that he'd change his mind now? Face it, you're more than likely on your own in this pregnancy, and who knows if he'll even stay around long enough to be involoved with the baby...
2007-05-16 14:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by woodlands127 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared to fight for child support, you should have moved in got married and then get pregnant.
I am single mom, and let me let you in on a little secret: It's hard, but you can do it. Lesson be learned, follow your beliefs and don't ever let a man convince you otherwise. Tell him that you are moving on and he can participate in being a father. If he can't be with you now which is very important to have emotional support then why bother with him anymore!
2007-05-16 14:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by pattiof 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visit with an attorney and get the child support paperwork taken care of so that when the baby comes you will be able to spend 24/7 taking care of it without having to work in visits to your attorney's office at the same time.
2007-05-16 14:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's gotten cold feet now that its actually happening. but u really need to have a talk with ur bf to find out whats goin on with him to make sure he still wants to live together and all. i mean he cant change his mind about the baby but he can about living together. just talk to him
2007-05-16 14:14:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down with him and really have a conversation with him, tell him you are having mixed messages and you are confused. The baby is going to come first, so you have to find out if he is dragging his feet or not, because you are going to have to make some big decisions.
2007-05-16 14:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by ***ME*** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
without a marriage certificate, he can walk much easier than had you done things in order. What a cramp in his lifestyle! girlfriend moving in a baby, all a big responsibility. too much too fast. so now we have an innocent baby that will be the one to pay for this upheaval.Hope your parents are ready for the responsibility because he is NOT
2007-05-16 14:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by gfrog82 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋