alright so i cheated on my girl...i love her an i want to marry her but if i tell her she'll end it...she knows i love her...an i dont know what to do it was one nite an i was drunk at a party an my girl wasnt there...it just happened...help me please i know it like "well if u loved her u wouldn't have cheated" but I DO LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING....HELP...I DONT WANNA LOSE HER...
2007-05-16 06:33:40 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well just goes to show you cannot let your man go anywhere without you, right??
Anyways if you love her as much as you say you do then do not lie to her, do not keep this from her, you have to tell her..Be open and let her know how sorry you are ect ect ect....
If you decide your ready to marry her and you still have this secret, it's going to hang over your head forever, and eventually she will probably find out whether it's through you or another source...
So instead of hearing it from someone else, let her hear it from you..Yes she is going to be pissed off, maybe even leave..But that should be the chance you are willing to take with her..You never know, she may totally respect you for being honest and telling her and decide that your worth another try...If she let's it go and tries to move forward with you, your going to have to work very hard in trying to earn her trust back, but if you love her, then it should be worth it...Your going to have to really prove how much you love her and need her so be ready!
P.s Being drunk is no excuse for what you did, keep that in mind for the next time this happens!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-16 06:58:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this happened, but it happens to the best of us. I've been cheated on before and the relationships did end. My best advice to give you: You are feeling guilty, yes, telling her may make you 'feel better' but the best I can tell you, is if she doesn't know, don't tell her, this is your punishment, the guilt you will have to live with now. If you think telling her will release some of the guilt, it won't, it will only hurt her and you may in fact lose her. Before you marry her, I suggest you make sure this is what you really want, because getting drunk and making a mistake is no excuse. Especially if it's more than once. Be sure this will never happen again. If you're not sure, do not by any means marry her until you know you are ready for ONE person. Good luck! :)
2007-05-16 06:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebird 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really truely regret what happened and don't feel you would ever do something like this again and you feel you are really ready to be committed to your gf, then I guess there's 2 things to consider. 1) What are your reasons for wanting to come clean and 2) What are the chances she will find out if you don't tell her.
If there's no way that she would find out unless her enemy told her, maybe you shouldn't say anything to you gf. Afterall, what purpose would it serve to tell her except ease your guilty conscience? Would it make her feel better to know? Or would it just make you feel better to get this off your chest?
However, if you think her enemy would spill the beans about your one-night stand (and since you refer to her as your gf's "enemy" I'm sure she would like the opportunity to hurt your gf) come clean and tell her what happened.
Generally, I do think honesty is the best policy and that she has the right to know. As to your question about what to do to keep from losing her, well, you know, there's really nothing you can do. You made a mistake. You can tell her you are sorry and that it won't happen again, but in the end, it's her decision and you have to respect that. Your actions have consequences and there's really nothing that you can say or do to make that go away. You just have to accept that you made a bad decision, which is your right, and now she has the right to decide whether she wants to continue in this relationship or not. By accepting her decision, you would be taking responsibility for what you have done, and maybe that would prove to her how sincere your regret is. You broke her trust and that kind of betrayl is hard to get over so if she decides she can't forgive it, that is just something you have to accept. Just like she has to accept what you have done. Good luck.
2007-05-16 06:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's going to find out, especially since you chose her "enemy" to do this with. Why do you think this other girl isn't going to go running to rub it in your girlfriend's face?
Fact is, you didn't respect yourself, your girlfriend or your relationship when you chose to get drunk and then cheat. Being drunk is an excuse for bad behavior. You need to change your attitudes or it's just going to happen again.
Own up to what you did, and face the consequences. If you're truly sorry, you may be able to get some counseling with your girlfriend and work it out. But you did wrong, and you need to admit it and deal with it.
2007-05-16 06:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jarien 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry pal. you just did the first step on losing her. soon in time, things will be revealed no matter how you keep it. that's the way things goes. just accept whatever consequences you will have from what you did. remember, you didn't **** with just any other girl. it's her enemy. so her enemy would do something to hurt her of course so you gave the glory to your beloved girlfriend's enemy. the impact on your girlfriend for this is really going to be like hell.
listen...no one is perfect. people make mistakes, but its not an excuse that you're drunk when that happened. if ever she finds out....tell her how much you're sorry and be prepared to do what you have to do in order to save your relationship if you still want it.
2007-05-16 06:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by kaatje 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use your head. You're already lying to her and you're not even married yet. Wtf do you think your married life is going to be like. And since you got away with it once... odds are you'll allow yourself to be in those situations again. It doesn't just happen. Obviously something is lacking in the relationship that you have.
AND, odds are, if she's your girl's enemy, she probably seduced you to hurt your girl, in which case, she'll probably find out eventually.
Be a man and be realistic. You don't want to end up divorced.
2007-05-16 06:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Peter N 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you actually loved her ,you could never have done what you did . You feel attracted to her because she feels like a victim to you and you are an abuser . Learn the difference between love and hate before it's too late . Love is what you do ,not what you say .
2007-05-16 06:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by opinionated 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were thinking with your brain in your pants! D'oh! It seems like this will eventually get back to your girlfriend one way or the other. If you tell her you have a better (if slim) chance of receiving forgiveness than if you try to hide it and it rumors back to her. If she is mature and really loves you she will forgive. If she is still more of a kid she'll be all indignant and dump you. People make mistakes and a mature person realizes this.
2007-05-16 06:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being drunk is not an excuse for cheating. You can't control your d*** just because you have some alcohol in you. Come on dude...you know you wanted her...drunk or not.
2007-05-16 06:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship. You will need to come clean. You messed up... she might leave you, she might not. But either way, it should be her decision.
If I was to give her advice, I would tell her to move on and never look back.
2007-05-16 06:39:16 · answer #10 · answered by Mika 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋