how hard is it to take a child away from it's mother?

Question

How can a father ( out of spite ) take the children away from their mother? Don't they have to prove that the mother is unfit? What is the definition of unfit?

Answer 1

It depends on the state custody laws for one. Then yes he would have to prove you are unfit, the definition of which would again depend on the state. Typically its anything that endangers the welfare of the child alcohol use, drugs, mental or physical illness, lots o boyfriends, even in some cases working two jobs to afford to live whil the kid is at home or at the babysitters.

Answer 2

It depends on who has the better circumstances to bring up the child in. Which is down to a lot of things - money, home, support from other friends/family/new partner, (if the kid is old enough) who the child wants to be with, physical health etc etc. Basically it seems that courts side with the mother anyway, so the father's situation would need to be significantly more suitable before he would win a case - it is far more likely that there would be shared custody of some kind.
Is there any way that you could remove the spite element of the situation? If you could get to a point of being civil, maybe with help from a mutual friend or counselling if needed, then not only would you both be happier, but so would the child. Even from a place where you are unable to be in the same room without screaming, if you can somehow get him to agree that the child's happiness must be the priority for both of you, then it could be possible to slowly get to middle ground of frosty politeness, and no courts involved. Happier and cheaper. If you can't appeal to his good nature, then appeal to his wallet and save it from the solicitors.

Answer 3

well I guess the definition of unfit would be not taking the best interests of the child into consideration. If you don't take your child to the doctor when they are really ill you are unfit to be a mother. if you don't feed your child or have food in your house you are unfit. if you take your child places that they should not be because it endangers their safety you are unfit. things of this nature. but depending on who the other parent is and if they can provide a better life a child can sometimes be given to a father just because they can provide better and give the child what they need. It all depends on where you live and what your situation is. Out of spite is not a good reason to try and get your kids so if that is the real reason then there probably is nothing to worry about. but you also have to remember our legal system doesn't always work the way it should either. there are always exceptions to the rules.

Answer 4

It is extremely hard to take a child away from it's mother. If the court sees that the mother is even making the slightest attempt to improve her lifestyle they will give the mother at least split custody. The only way they would completely remove the child would be if the living conditions were not suitable for the child, if the child was being mistreated, malnourished, left alone or something major like that.

Answer 5

Most of the time the mother has custody and the father has partial custody. But it really all depends on the situation. Yes the mother has to be deemed unfit but unfit could mean anything. It is very hard to take a child away from its mother but at the same time its also hard to take a child away from its father. You really have to look at the situation because if both parents are battling over custody it could be to spite each other or because they don't want to lose their children. Like I said it depends on the situation because men and women are both equally capable of raising children.

Answer 6

It's very hard to do that. The father has to have alot of proof of the mother being unfit, most states belive a child should be with the mother. There has to be proof of neglect and things like that, they can't just say she doesn't take care of the child it won't fly in court

Answer 7

Yes, and that is actually quite difficult to do. He can't prove that you are unfit if you aren't. Try and get in on a couple of parenting courses, this will improve your chances of keeping them.
Unfit means that you are unable to provide the necessities of life, that you are negligent or abusive or that you do not consider the well being of your children. If your children are dirty and unfed, don't attend school, are not being looked after properly; they can be taken away. If you are not taking care of yourself and you don't have food in your house, they can be taken away.
Some how, I just don't see that in you...You have been concerned enough to ask what the definition is, so that must mean you are prepared to do what is necessary to keep them in your care. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you. Just by keeping them in your home and not passing them off on anyone, you will prove that you are the right parent.

Answer 8

In Oklahoma it isn't as hard as proving that she is unfit, If the father makes more money has a better(more expensive lawyer) or has a better job which requiers less hours he can and in some cases does gain joint custody. Unfortunatly it happens every day not just in Oklahoma but elsewhere also. Advise to moms: If dad is abusive, neglectful,adulterous,or any other wellfounded reason for divorce, Document it well. Don't be the nice guy(mom) by not proving it in court. It will only bring you and your kids pain in the long run.

Answer 9

It is extremely hard to take a child away from it's mother it might hurt the childs life for ever. Especially the mother she would be a sad woman. She might have a suicidal mind after that.
Unfit means:
not fit;
not adapted or suited;
unsuitable

Answer 10

Hi Tracie,
Unfortunately, I know this situation all too well. In the State of Florida there is a statute called "putative father." Essentially, it states that a Putative Father is defined as a man who may be the child’s biological father, but who is not married to the child’s mother on or before the date of the child’s birth and has not established his paternity through legal proceedings.

Basically, regardless to whether or not the two of you were married, and in lieu of a court ordered custody paperwork (meaning that even though you are the child's mom, you still must establish custody through the court system, atleast in FL), the father has equal rights to the child(ren), and does not need to go to court in order to invoke his rights.

Your best bet is to obtain a court ordered custody aggreement for your own children. Otherwise, he can take your kids and keep them forever if he wants to, and there is nothing you can do about it. No policeman would get involved either because it is not a criminal offense.

Whether out of spite, or whether you are unfit or not, he can keep the kids. Tracie, if you dont have a custody order GET ONE NOW!