My girlfriend of fourteen whole months has revealed to me that she contracted a std from a previous relationship. Two weeks ago I just noticed those burning symptoms when I urinated. I never confronted her on the situation at hand, only cause it was a possibility I cheated on her, but the fact is I never did, I know I never cheated on her, but always suspected her of having some one on the side. To make matters worse she's pregnant, and I don't know if it's mine or not, but I believe it is mine. We haven't used a condom during sex for four months now. What can I do or say when I confront her on the serious issue at hand?
2007-05-16 05:58:52 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, this is really a loaded question. I think that you have every right to know if the child that she is carrying is your baby or not. She should come clean and tell you so that you can then make a further decision about what you want to do as far as continuing a relationship with her or not. The fact that she has an std means that she made a mistake in the past and shouldn't be punished for it for the rest of her life. If you in fact love her enough then you can talk to her about the fact that you think that she has passed it along to you. I think that it is pretty messed up that she didn't tell you from the beginning that she might have or has this std. There isn't anything that you can do now about the std but there is something that you can do if she cheated on you and is having someone else's baby. Give her the chance to explain herself and if you are able to work things out, then this conversation should lead right into finding out if she has anything other serious issues that she needs to tell you about so that you can have a stronger relationship. Good Luck!!!
2007-05-16 06:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by benz s55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key issue is your health, her health, and the well being of the child (assuming she is keeping it).
Ok first, both go to the doctor for an examination. With your symptoms you want to look into possible treatments.
Also some STD's can be dangerous to the child during birth, so she could definitely discuss these risks with a doctor.
Regarding STD's, using a condom is important to prevent the spread of many STD's as well as preventing pregnancy. For now on use one unless you want your gf to get pregnant again (after she has this baby).
Finally, it sounds like you think she cheated on you and is carrying someone else's baby. If you really believe this, then ask for a test to confirm you are the father. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for this since you just recently got an STD from her after all this time. Be prepared for her to get upset if you ask for this though. But again getting an STD from her gives you valid reason to not be sure.
2007-05-16 06:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by Rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be easy to figure out if you're the father of the child via blood typing and a paternity test if necessary.
If your not the father, the she cheated on you (since you have been dating for 14 months). Since you never cheated, she also gave you a STD. This is something she should have told you, and you could have taken preventative measures so that you did not get that STD. So, minimally, she failed you on the STD front.
This sounds like a rocky start to a relationship, and unfortunately you are bringing a child into the mix. Not a good situation.
Quite honestly, my concern would be for the child right now. the rest you will need to work out.
2007-05-16 06:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by mark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to get the possible STD checked out and treated. Keep in mind it may not be an STD. There are other possible causes for burning when you urinate.
If it is an STD you must tell her so that she also can be treated. If she is truly your only sexual partner you had to have gotten it from her and she from someone else.
It's a bit late for me to say how irresponsible sex without a condom is. You've hopefully learned that from this incident as you have both potential bad results a pregnancy and possibly an STD.
Be ready for raised tempers when you talk to her, yours and hers. Stay calm. You're going to have to keep your heads and think rationally but I would say a paternity test is not unreasonable.
2007-05-16 06:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to:
1)Make an appointment to the local STD or GUM clinic. You should also learn what type of STD you have contracted. It may be as easily treated as Public Lice to serious infections like Genital Warts, which can cause Penile Cancer, and Syphilis, which can cause infertility.
2) Have the fetus tested for paternity using a Deoxyribonucleic Test, or DNA Paternity test.
If it's all positive, then you're now a father with STD.
2007-05-16 06:06:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell her that you believe that you have an STD and that you are going to the doctor to get treatment and she should too. Let her know that you have not cheated on her. Do not accuse her of cheating. If you love her and she loves you, both of you can work through this. If she accuses you of cheating then you are going to have to make a decision if you still want to be with her or not. She may be thinking the same thing.
2007-05-16 06:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by soulsearcherofthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she told you just now after 14 mths i'd be pissed. People can get sued for knowingly having a STD and transmitting it. Depends on the STD cause some forms you can just go to the doc and take antibotics for a few days and it clears up. I know this only b/c a previous partner gave something to me with her having knowlege of having it. Mine cleared up in about 10 days and i'm now clean. She has been deceptive to you and you need to tell her that. Get tested to see if the child is yours, if it isn't you might want to leave.
2007-05-16 06:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go to a doctor and find out what is wrong with you.
Second drop her like a bad habit for not telling you earlier about the std. She is cheating on you if you have not been having safe sex for four months otherwise symptoms would hace shown sooner.
Third demand a paternity test on the child. If the child is yours take that slut to court and make sure you get custody.
2007-05-16 06:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by Soldier 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Symptoms of an STD 14 months later? Nah, I'm sure you would have experienced it sooner. She cheated on you and brought something home, or you could have giving her something if you did cheat yourself. Make sure when the child is born to have DNA test. Do not put your name on birth certificate no matter how much she begs.
2007-05-16 06:05:15 · answer #9 · answered by brandonb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very serious matter here so it doesnt matter what you say as long as you both get some medical attention. You can go by yourself but she will be brought into this anyway and since shes pregnant she definitely needs medical attention now for the babys sake and you can tell her that. Just dont accuse her of anything or youll have your hands full but get the medical attention now
2007-05-16 06:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋