Why say you'll call if you won't?

Question

I was having a conversation about this with my girl friends last night and we all agreed we'd much rather get something noncommital at the end of a date like "It was fun. See you around" than "I'll call you" or some other variation of it. I never EXPECT a guy to say he's going to call, and when he does say it I have hope he might. Something like "see ya later" would be better, I think.

Thoughts?

I just think it's stupid. After a first date you haven't really invested anything in a "relationship," so what's the harm in being honest, y'know?

Answer 1

Yeah, that can get kind of old. I think that at the time they usually mean it. I have had guys call back for real, but most of the time they claim to have 'forgotten' or 'havent had the time'. I do think that if they dont think that they will actually get around to calling that they shouldn't say so. You are right in that aspect. 'Talk to you later' would be better than getting us to check our answering machines with no messages for a few days thinking that they might call.

Answer 2

I am guilty of doing this in the past. The reason why I've done it was because I didn't have the heart to tell someone who was obviously infatuated with me that I didn't want to pursue the relationship beyond the first date.

If the other party thinks the first date ended well they usually expect a phone call or something more than a "see ya." It just boils down to lack of courage and honesty or not wanting to crush their hearts on the spot.

Answer 3

Maybe you should just start viewing that phrase "I'll call you" as a "non committal" statement and just not expect a call. I think that guys say it as some sort of knee jerk instinctive response at the end of the date. There really should not be any expectations after the first date anyway. If he calls he calls. If he doesn't then move on.

Answer 4

Take the promise of a call with a grain of salt. Maybe the guy really plans on calling but because guys are stupid sometimes they forget or get too nervous. So anytime a guy says that, expect that he won't. Then when a guy actually does call it'll be a pleasant surprise.

Answer 5

Whatever he says 'see you later', 'Call you soon' , everything - if a guy doesn't want you, he just tries to skip this by giving hope that you dont' give him headaches of expectations.

It has happened to me, and it happens to everyone.
I have done the same to some guys that i only wanted to leave them because i wouldn't want to give any other explanation why -when-where/who - those questions are generally asked by women to women or women to men, but men hate it, so they skip by a simple thing keeping it peace but not showing you that 'i'm running away now, and guess what, don't call me either'.

Be strong and find someone better who will run after YOU. Not you thinking and feeling sad for someone that doesn't deserve!

Answer 6

it is just ur perception. there r different cultures and different ethics people follow across the globe. In some parts, people wud say .. let's hv dinner sometime.. but is never meant to be in reality. Normally say see ya later.. but when ? In the same aspect u can take it as .. I'll call you.. but when ? don't know. so u must be just waiting.. in essence.. why take it seriously if u dont know theperson much ?

Answer 7

Some would say he is not interested in you. However, I am finding lately that most men have no "game." They are scared little boys who are actually at home by the phone waiting for you to call THEM. Leave the little boys alone. Real men have more confidence and will call you the same night.

http://www.ditchtheex.blogspot.com/

Answer 8

Because he's shady, has no brass therefore a gamer. Not worth your time or effort because if he plays games that early in the picture, it's only worse from that point. Lose him like a bad habit, somone else's drama after that!

Answer 9

its a mind game
men do this when they fell us women are getting to clingy

when he calls say, "Oh (insert name) I'm busy can I call you back later?"

to get a guy to stop his way act like he is, be like a man. He will have a double take.

"Wait this girl is not melting at me calling her, she is not at my whelp bending over for me doing what I say."

he'll be the puppy

men love independent women for a reason there intrusting

the worst thing to do is yell at him or let him know it bothered you

Answer 10

Actually they say it because they think its what women want to hear. In some way they think it makes a girl feel better and it makes them feel less like a jerk.