im really confused.?

Question

ive always told myself-"if a male im dating ever lays a hand on me, im going to leave him."
but yesterday my boyfriend of 9 months grabbed me and left bruises on my arm. we're now not talking at all. and i already miss him so much. hes 20 feet away from me in the next room and i want to run in there and just hug him. is that wrong? am i a sucker? should i stay with him?

Answer 1

OF COURSE NOT! girl respect yourself and get out before you get more attatched. No man that hurts you is worth a second of your time.

Answer 2

Before either of you go running away try talking this over. I mean really working thru it, try using a person that can mediate with you or someone you both trust that can be a neutral ear. He could be feeling as horrible as you are and as confused as you. It is possible that this is not a "first sign of abuse" but rather a true accident. However, you must also make sure you are safe and not in the position of being hurt. The only way to do this is to talk and see how he is reacting to the situation. Just be safe but communicate. At least by talking thru it you will have some closure to the entire incident no matter which way the relationship goes. This is a turning point, a new chapter if you will for your relationship.

Answer 3

REad the first sentence of your question again. Why are you questioning your judgement on this one? How much self-respect have you lost being with this guy? GET OUT NOW. It will only get worse, and with each new bruise, you'll find some other excuse to stay- "he didn't mean to" , "I deserve it because I made him mad" , "even though he gave me a black eye and broke 2 of my ribs I know he loves me"
Noone deserves to be treated this way. If he were capable of loving you he would not grab you hard enough to leave bruises. Get out now.

Answer 4

I have found that you will have trouble in a lot of areas in your life if you stay a victim. YOU are a victim. Get out asap. RUN!!! You might think that this is love now, but you will set yourself into the role of "victim" only one time, and find yourself there forever. You have to get out and don't look back. YOU are worth more than this. Getting out now will give you the insight to see the same warning signs for what they are later in other situations (relationship or otherwise), and help make it easier to deal with it. Good luck, and God speed....

Answer 5

Be strong and tell him that he left a bruise on your arm and you didn't appreciate that and it can't happened again. Maybe he's a strong man and he didn't realize that. BUT if he didn't apologize and or think it's all your fault .. you need to move on. He doesn't respect you and your wish - don't stick around for more of that. Love is respect and mutual relationship with no bruise.

Answer 6

It's not wrong, but it's not safe either! If he's willing to touch you in ANY way that's harmful to you, there won't be a limit. If you want to try and work things out, you need to lay down the line and let him know you won't stand for being abused. If he's not willing to accept and respect this decision/demand, you need to move on.

Answer 7

You're living proof of the fact that no one knows what they would really do in a situation until they are actually put in it. It's easy for us all to sit here and judge others and tell them what we would do or what they should do. But, as you see, when you're in the situation, it's different. No one here knows your story other than you. No one here knows what lead to the argument getting physical...for instance, did you hit him first? Was he holding your arms to keep you from hitting him? I'm not taking up for him, but everyone knows that there is always two sides to a story and the only people who know what happened are you and your boyfriend.

Answer 8

Bruises...as in plural. Which means he grapped your arms multiple times.....LEAVE HIS ***!!!! That is totaly uncalled for. A man should never lay a hand on a woman no matter what. Leave him before it get worse. It will be rough but you can do it. Good Luck.*

Answer 9

depends... u need to know if he did it purposely i.e he was trying to be forceful or trying to show you "who's boss". he may have doen it accidentally with out intending to hurt you...
but if he did wanna hurt you when he grabbed your arm, then best if you dont let it happen again..a guy with the tendency to harm a girl will do it again...& again..& again... even if he says he's sorry & promised it wont ever happen again, the chances that it might is just too huge... & you can end in a bag... so pls... take care of yourself & know what's good for you & what's not...

Answer 10

You teach people how to treat you. You need to make sure he knows this behavior is unacceptable!! He needs better control of his anger! It could be a sign of worse things to come, but not always. As much as it hurts sometimes, you have to take care of you, and if that means distancing someone you love from you, then that's what you have to do. How YOU are treated is just as important as how you treat him! Just remember, if it does not end up working out, it just means someone better is out there for you! You don't want to miss who you are really ment to be with messing around with someone you aren't! Good Luck!

Answer 11

I understand your dilemma, however you need to make sure he understands that is not behavior that you will accept. It is NEVER acceptable for two people who are in a relationship to physically hurt each other. Tell him that you love him, that you need him to seek anger management or counseling, talk to your pastor, etc. SOMETHING needs to be done, it is abuse and it will only get worse if you do not address it now--you can end up beaten or worse. You are a wonderful person, you are loving and caring. REMEMBER you are a gift, and gifts aren't to be thrown around like trash. He needs to seek counseling, or you need to get out!!! Stand your ground and let him know that you will NOT be treated that way!!! Good Luck!!