I am 28, and I had my daughter when I was 18. I haven't dated since I got pregnant with her. At first it was because I was so scared I would get hurt again, like I did with her father. But once she got older I didn't want her to become attached to the one I was dating, and then it not work out between him and I. Now that she's 10 years old, do you think it's time that I put myself back out there and available?
2007-05-16 03:25:59 · 22 answers · asked by Christine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want to date, go for it. You made your daughter your first priority for 10 years now and you can keep her your first priority for the rest of your life, but you should make yourself a priority too. If you are worried about her getting attached to whomever you are dating, don't let him meet her right away. That is my rule, though I haven't dated since my son's father and I split up 4 years ago. I will not allow any man to meet my son until I have been dating him for quite some time....and then he will not be allowed to hang out with my son until he shows to me that he is not running off anywhere.
You deserve to be happy and you should do what makes you happy. You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and you love your daughter very much. If you feel it is time to start dating, do it!
2007-05-16 03:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is OK to start dating. You are a beautiful woman. It sounds like you have done your best in raising your daughter. You need to setup some guide lines, so your daughter doesn't get hurt. To begin with, you should explain to your daughter that you will be going out and seeing people. If she has a problem with sharing you with others, you need to point out she has friends, and you need to find a special friend. Next, you need to set rules about bring guys around the house. Until you are really sure the guy is the right one, you should re-frame bring home to meet your daughter. It is painful for kids who built a relationship with a guy who you reject because you both loose the relationship. Finally, don't do anything you wouldn't want you daughter to do when she gets older. They are good at picking up your behaviors. Good luck and God bless.
2007-05-16 10:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go and kept trying and let your daughter know that they are friend until you are sure that it is a good thing remember that you have needs to . But be honest with the guys you date. Be honest with your daughter also do not let her call them dad or uncle that is something that make a brack up hard on them becouse those are people that are not supost to hurt you. But get out there and do so . I say this bescouse I am a single mom who is 41 with 4 grown childern and my youngest is 18 and I an know get back in the dating game and it is very hard. I wish I would have date when my kids were growing up. just do you best for your daghter frist she need to know that she is still number 1 in your life
2007-05-16 10:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To echo the sentiments of my fellow answerers, yes, it's definitely about time you expand your horizons a bit and start dating, if that's something you feel like you want to do.
However... I'd set some definite limits. Your daughter shouldn't meet these guys, not until there's some degree of trust and seriousness to the relationship. Set a timeframe, and until that timeframe is met, this person just doesn't get to have contact with your kid.
Heck, I'm 27 and I've got an 8 year old brother. A couple of years ago, I made the mistake of letting him get to know a girl I was dating, because I was pretty sure I was going to marry her. Well, he really took a liking to her, and took the breakup that followed almost as badly as I did.
2007-05-16 10:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have already been dating...though I REALLY understand your reasons for not dating. If your daughter is cool with you dating, then tell her you are going to start dating again. If she isn't comfortable about it, ease her into the idea over a period of time. DO NOT introduce your daughter to any of the guys you go out with until AFTER you are exclusive. You can talk to her about the guy, and definitely tell him from day one you are a parent. Just don't bring him and her together until you are a couple and you are sure she is ready for it. Remember, she has had you to herself for 10 years.
2007-05-16 10:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah be happy, do what makes you happy. But most importantly make sure your daughter's most happy of all, that she approves of all this, also be sure the guy you end up with is okay with your daughter, some people don't like kids and don't know how to treat them. So when looking for Mr. right guy keep in mind that he's not just for you, but for your daughter as well....
2007-05-16 10:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by mindseye06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, why not? Just be careful and take things slowly. I made the mistake of rushing into a relationship and introducing him to my children..it resulted in alot of heartache all round when we split up 5 years later. You can never be sure that the time is right but go with your gut instinct and you should be ok. Good luck, have fun xx
2007-05-16 10:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by pinkkittenliverpool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK for you to start dating again, but be wary of you who choose to bring home to meet your daughter. She is still very young and impressionable, and now that she's 10, she is going to remember every single guy that you date.
Good luck out there â¥
2007-05-16 10:33:39 · answer #8 · answered by Delvala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, yes it is!!! it's time for some "you" time. get yourself out there... if you find it hard to meet guys (which i wouldn't imagine because you're gorgeous!) try an online dating service. my mom is a single mother and she's been dating for a while now. she met a lot of nice and good guys online. just make sure that you don't start to neglect your daughter. spend lots of time with her still, and never ever choose a guy over spending some time with her. get yourself out there and have a blast. you deserve it.
2007-05-16 10:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by justbreathe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For sure, start dating BUT don't bring the men home with you until you know the relationship has a possible future. Children, especially little girls look at what their mother is doing and then follows suit.
2007-05-16 10:31:24 · answer #10 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋