Ok here is my deal I have been with my b/f now 8 years and we thought about marrige, never happened.... anyways I have found myself to have fallen out of love with him and his mental abuse is not helping, I mean heck, calling me fat and dumb and sex is not there. And I am tired of feeling like its all my fault and just want to run away anfd work on myself to get my life and happiness back. I do know that I love him but no longer "in love" with him and I wont lie to say I have not, I have forced myself to try to find the love again. I dont ewant to hu8rt him, even though I klnow I will, I thought about sticking it out until our lease is up in september and then move in with my friend and then get up the nerve to tell him since we will not be living together anymore. I am such a wuss and can't help but be scared, I mean heck that was 8 yrs of my life!!! I thought he was the one even though "the one" was in front of me the whole time!!
2007-05-15 23:31:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is going to sound cold ... but if the man has so obviously mentally abused you ...then you owe him nothing ... stick it out until your lease is up ...just to ensure a roof over your head ... and then split with him ... it's up to you to ensure your own happiness ... and if you cna't find that with him ... then it's time to move on ...
2007-05-15 23:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by Amethyst_Moonfairy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things here. If he is mentally abusing you "calling you fat and dumb", then you don't need to be with him. NO ONE has the right to treat you that way. You deserve better. That is the number 1 reason to leave him. Number two, you don't love him. If it's not there, it's not there. No sense in continuing a relationship that is not fulfulling you and in the same sense, hurting you. Tell him that it is over between the two of you and move on. Yes 8 years is a long time, but you would just be holding on to a damaging relationship. Tell him exactly what you posted and get out and start living for yourself! You deserve it! Good luck!
2007-05-15 23:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by idliketoknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, take it as a graduation from 8 years of studying to understanding love. From here, you move on and be smarter yeah. Get a better man and live normally.
Courtship is alway the same if is goes too long,
Starting: everything is pink and beautiful, so nice.
Middle: the storm ariived, all bad points starting to come out.
Argue, quarrel, hate, complaint, etc etc, then in the
End: Tired of each other, love color turn to grey, keep ponder and envy about the starting love together, which in fact is over and out.
If your partner insulted your physically look, better you forget about it, it over, tell him back that he is small, ugly and dirty, see how he react. You got to have that guts otherwise turn off all communication.Before marriage already behave and treat you such a way, I wonder if you married him, he may call you a buffalo sex animal by then.
Having said all, if you still love him, and agree to be a slave of his tormenting, you ask for it. Free yourself.
2007-05-15 23:57:54 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He mentally abuses you and you dont want to hurt him? You need to move asap and get away from this guy. The abuse only escalates, and marrige will not help anything. If your both on the lease, then you need to talk to your landlord and find out what steps you should take to get out of the lease and move sooner than later. You need to get away from him and work on your self esteem and rebuilding your self image. If you are afraid of what he will do when you tell him you are leaving, get a friend or two to be with you. The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship, is when she decides to leave. Dont try to be stoic, involve outsiders so that you will have protection and you need to leave and cut ties, and if he harasses and threatens you, you need to call the police. It will not get any better with this guy, you need to move on and find out who your are and so you can rebuild your self-esteem. There are good guys out there who wont call you names and will appreciate who you are, you just need to take some time and look.
2007-05-15 23:42:15 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, there are things in life,and love, that we can't completely comprehend.
However, in your case, it usually happens, falling out of love...When you are with a partner for a long time, passion starts to fade out. It because you know almost everything about him...
If you want your relationship to work, open up to him...Share your feelings,maybe through talking, you can spark up that relationship again...Take a trip together...Don't give up on the 8 years too soon...
On the other hand, if he's taking these steps for granted, refusing to talk,then what are you waiting for? You made your move in restoring your relationship...it takes 2 to make the relationship work...Go on with your life...You deserve to be happy.
2007-05-15 23:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rangers ends quiet?! have you ever even been to the two ends? And it of course relies upon on what group you help! And a approach or the different i do no longer think of the Celtic end would be making a track and dancing! no longer for long besides!
2016-12-17 14:15:46 · answer #6 · answered by fennessey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all stop shacking up with him. Second of all shame on your parents for allowing you to go steady at the age of 14. Although it has been 8 wasted years, you are still very young and have a lot of good years left. I sure hope you have been working on your education all these years, then at least you a step ahead. Thank goodness you don't have any children.
2007-05-15 23:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sugar it's tough but if you are not happy you must move on. After eight years you have to face him and tell him point blank that he's had all the opportunies in the world to make the relationship something and he's failed miserably. Enough is enough. It is hard I know but until you do it it will haunt you and you will end up hating each other completely. And you want to stay friends at least eh?
2007-05-15 23:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him and then move in with your friend. Though it will hurt you, it would hurt him even more if you all of a sudden left without telling him why. Tell him you two could just be really good friends or something like that. And if he refuses, tell him, that some random girl on Yahoo answers (me) says *loving someone isn't just about being with them, its also learning to let them go.* Good Luck With All Of My Heart
2007-05-15 23:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by SmilE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and leave one day when he is not home. Leave a note--"Now you don't have to put up with my fat, dumb *** anymore. By the way, I love sex, you make me hate it with you."
Don't look back, sweetie. That is verbal abuse, and it hurts just the same a physical abuse, only difference is no bruises, just tears. You deserve much better. Good Luck!!!
2007-05-15 23:40:20 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋