How can I move on? Please help me.?

Question

My parents have hurt me so many times, in different ways (nothing physical) & now I can't stand being anywhere near them.
The problem is, I'm stuck living with them until me and my boyfriend can afford our own place.
How can I take living here for atleast another couple of months, when I can't stand being in the same place as them for a second?

For your information teenie; I pay even share of ALL the bills, rent, gas etc & I buy my own food so before you know the details - don't assume things when you're wrong.

Answer 1

Its very natural to feel the need to separate from parents.... but you say they have hurt you and only you know the details of that... if you ask yourself 'did they hurt me on purpose?' 'was it their intention to cause me pain?' what do you come up with... maybe its a yes..... can you try to imagine if you were one of them for a moment what do you feel is behind the way they have acted.... I'm sorry you are struggling just now but at least you do have a roof over your head whilst you are saving for your own place.. hope it all works out for you. x

Answer 2

While you're stuck for the next few months use that time to work on some things that will benefit you and your boyfriend when you're out on your own. You say your parents hurt you so many times. Since you don't say how they hurt you, it's difficult to advise specifically but usually when someone gets hurt it's because of a lack of real communication.

Often parents and kids hurt each other because they love each other but don't know how to properly express it. Since they're allowing you and your boyfriend to stay in their house, regardless of whether or not you're paying your way, they must love you. The want to make sure you have a roof over your head.

Without knowing the details, I'm going to offer you a different perspective to consider. Youre about to go out on your own, your parents are aware of the pitfalls that wait out there and they want to make sure you're going to be OK. They may have said or done some things that hurt your feelings but is it possible they said or did these things out of love and concern for you?

Either way, you and your boyfriend are about to move into a place together and start a life together. No matter how in love the two of you are, there will be challenges. Look at what it is that truly bothers you about your parents and then take a good honest look at yourself. See if you react in the same or similar ways as them. I say this not to point a finger at you but to help you become aware of how you communicate to avoid problems with your boyfriend once you're out on your own.

You said you already contribute so obviously you're aware of the expenses involved. Make sure you and your boyfriend are on the same wavelength not only about expenses but also about household chores. This seems like a little thing but it can blow up into a big thing without the proper communication techniques. Learn from your parents mistakes so you don't make the same ones once your out. Use these next few months as classroom time and really take advantage of the opportunity you're being presented with. If you can honestly say you're not at all like your parents, then you're doing OK. It's all a matter of perspective.

Answer 3

First, you both should have a job, that way you can make money-- SAVE IT. Make sure you aren't spending it. Also, a job will keep you out of the house at least some time. Start looking at apartments and such so you know what you want and how much. Make sure you have enough savings to afford a few months worth of rent. Come home when they sleep, and sleep/work while they're awake. It seems like you can't really avoid them 24/7 but at least that way in 4 months you can get out of there..

Answer 4

there is no easy answer babe.
i was in the same boat as you a few years back, and i just had to stick it out. it seemed like every time i made eye contact with them it was gonna cause another row.
but after i moved out, within 6 months everything was fine between us.
we now get on better than ever,.....i think sometimes when you grow more mature, you just need your own space, and once the parents get wind of it, they dont want to loose you so start resenting you.

stick it out, it;ll be worth it in the end.

Answer 5

ask them why they do these things to you do the want you to go try and talk to you mum have a mum daughter chat if that is possible go shopping with her , ask her why do i annoy you so much would you be happier if i left home is it something going on between you and dad ,are you the only child , you could speak to citizens advice bureau ask for help or a housing association they could put your name down on the housing list . i would say to your parents i will be leaving i can see you cannt not stand me in this house anymore i dont know what i have done to hurt you both ,but i must tell you have broken my spirt and i do not know how i am going to deal with this be fore i leave this house for good i wants us to part on good terms . good luck silver foxx

Answer 6

Find things to occupy your time like work and school. Get an education while u get money to move out and move on. Sometimes we take our parents fro advantage. As u get older u will soon realize all they have done for u. Until then exercise ur independence.

Answer 7

If it's that bad can't you find a friend that has a room till you sort yourself out, other wise just stay strong and realise that's it's not forever, and don't let the stress cause you and your boyfriend to have troubles.

Answer 8

Why dont you and your boyfreind try camping in a tent . the weather is warming soon and you will be able to see if you can really stand the clossest proximity before you take taht flat together . And think of all that fresh air and coking skills you will aquire .It will also suprise your parents with your independent enterprise the message will be you dont need them !

Answer 9

well go out most of the time and only come back for like dinner and important things stay in your room If your boyfriend is staying at his mum and dads then go to his.

Answer 10

Hi there!

i dnt know what you have gone through and how have your parents hurt you... but just one question.. is this because of your boyfriend? If it is then just go through this


Seems Like yesterday ...
Seems like it was yesterday, when i learnt to walk,
holding your hand on these very streets.
Seems like it was yesterday, when you came running
when i fell and brought me back to my feet
Seems like yesterday, that you roamed on the terrace
at nights, trying to put me to sleep
It seems like yesterday,
that you held my hand and
taught me to sing
Seems like yesterday,
that you were always with me,
for everything.
It was just yesterday,
when you taught me
right and warned me about wrong
yes it was just yesterday,
when you played with me and taught
me to be strong
It was just yesterday,
when you brought me my barbies and my game,
Yes it was just yesterday when you taught me to
spell my name
Even after all these years it is all the same
It seems just like yesterday ..................

They shared all this with you.... you did with them
now if it is for the manwho has just entered you life .. please dnt do that to them
and if not then time will heal everything..
if you have anything to say after reading this you can write to me
[e-mail]

take care
Traveller