I dated a guy long distance, and when we started dating, he was very interested, always calling me and even flew down to see me. We dated for about 2 months and decided the distance was too hard and so we decided to just stay in touch. Recently, I ran into his friend, who kept telling me how great of a guy he is, and how he really liked me, and thinks he still does, and that I should move. I ended up seeing the guy I dated later in the evening and we ended up hooking up with each other. The next day he kept telling me he didn't want me to leave and that he missed me. We began chatting on line again and flirting, but then a week later, he went on a date. I haven't asked him about it, because I don't how to bring it up. He flirts with me online and tells me he still likes me. My friends say there is still interest, but because of the distance, he is seeing what else is out there. Should I bring up the date and ask what is going on between us still? Any advice would be great.
2007-05-15 19:44:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like "I'll look you up when I'm in town, but do my own thing when I'm not". If I was you I'd let this guy loose, he doesn't sound like someone you'd want to be with. By "Hooking up" I assume you mean you two had sex (could be wrong though), then to go out with someone else a week later mean he is telling you it didn't mean that much to him. Be careful or you could just become his bootee call.
2007-05-15 19:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think he loses interest, maybe it's the distance, that gives him the time and flexibility to date around.
From what i see, he still likes you, saying things like missing u, didnt want to leave u, flirting with u and stuff. If he lost interest, do u think he will bother?
anyway......
i'd say u should be brave and bring it up, girl, never ask, never know!~ beside if he is really dating around, which means u can open up youerself to other options too, since the distance is quite a problem.
but hey, if say u guys are really into each other and willing to make it work, ask him about his take on this anyway..if he says, yea sure, let's try and do this, then go ahead and start something there. if he says nah..the distance is killing me, then just say, ok, let's just be friend, keep in touch (or not, totally up yo u) and start to look for somehting new for yourself, k?
hope that helps. :)
2007-05-15 21:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by curious_vanila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would. I could simply ask what he did on the day he went on the date to see if he says anything about it. Then mention that you thought he went out with a friend or such on that day and see what he says about it. Or you can start by bringing you and his relationship up and see if he brings the date up during the conversation.
When there's no dialog about you and him you leeve the opportunity to assume things. Assumptions as we know can be wrong but its human nature. We want answers and rarely will we allow anything if at all to stay unanswered. Talking to him and telling him your feelings will open him up to express his feelings. This is the main thing to get out on the table.
I will have to agree with your friend that he's checking the field seeing that you are at a distance from him. He wants the companionship there with him in person more often than he's getting it so its hard to expect something over distance to last for a long time. If efforts were given on a regular basis with you 2 (visiting all the time) then I think the need for that person there with him will weaken and his strength to wait to see you will increase more.
Just remember to be honest with yourself and him when it comes to a relationship.
Good Luck!!
2007-05-15 19:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by Cool Nerd At Your Service 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't lose interest. He got the hookup, and knows you are willing to do so again in the future but are willing to just be in touch. What does he need from you more than that?
I don't mean to sound hard, but if you think about it, you have a relationship with him that satisfies him, but not you. If you don't like it then change the situation.
2007-05-15 19:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by bortiepie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel, and ask for his true feelings, Then ask him to tell you his. Ask about the date see if he is still looking, if he is hiding the date from you then he may be playing keeping you there until he finds better.
If thats the case leave before you get hurt
2007-05-15 19:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by xxgq 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Liking is something about the mental chemistry. It changes with actions and reactions. You need to find what went wrong in retrospect when you interacted. To reprimand about the reason will not be a wise thing since it will be like forcing yourself on him which will scare him off. So think coolly about your own behavior when you met and also the verbal communications. You will know the reasons yourself.
2007-05-15 19:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by KVISHWAS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be blunt. If this relasionship is something you really want pursue it. It has to go both ways though. Communication is the key. In order to have understanding you must inquire,
2007-05-15 19:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are too hard to keep strong.
I would let it fade and find someone closer.
2007-05-15 19:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by Rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, wake up and smell the coffee....guys use you, don't sell yourself short to a guy who is playing the field. Let him be a kid and wait for something REAL
2007-05-15 19:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wake up!! While he dates girls on his town you keep dreaming about stuff that will never be.
2007-05-15 20:06:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋