Been with this girl for six months. We had been arguing cause she cut off the intimacy and everything else that girlfriends would do (kissing, holding hands) But would still want to be treated like a girlfriend. She would always blame me for "wanting it" so she was not attracted to it. I just wanted a girlfriend. Not a female friend. She has bullimia or did, she hates herself and her figure. She stopped talking to me two weeks ago. Just stopped. Imagine doing all you can for a girl, and poof, she is gone. She texted me and said "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it anymore" My reaction is do what? be a friend? she wouldn't answer my calls, or even give me a closure. I texted her saying does she have feelings? I texted saying this isn't right what she is doing. No response. Its as if the girl is dead. I have no idea what happened here? She has dissappeared. Do I let this go? Its been over two weeks so I emailed saying I will be there for her for her eating disorder. Was this a bad idea?
2007-05-15 19:22:56 · 13 answers · asked by D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she has bulimia then chances are she has a bad body image of herself, and you said she does. She can't understand why you would want to touch, and be with, the body which she finds so unattractive. She is confusing her image of herself with the way you see her. She is probably thinking that you are thinking the same as she is "hating herself and her body". That's not your fault, but there isn't much you can do about it. She needs help in this case, probably much more than you can offer. She might need professional help.
What can you do? Offer your friendship without the pressure, or just let her go. That your choice.
2007-05-15 19:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does come back, most likely, she'll want your help. But definitely, she won't come back to be your girlfriend anymore. You should've seen this coming when she cut off the intimacy. What's a relationship without intimacy? Just a friendship. If you're close to this girl, and really care about her regardless of whether or not she's your girlfriend, it seems like she really needs you. Help her out with her eating disorder, get her healthy again. Sometimes all a woman needs is a friend. Perhaps the relationship was putting too much stress on her...
2007-05-16 02:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by Niko? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, I don't think the eating disorder is the problem. It's in her and what she feels insecure of.... I think what you should do is really tell her that you don't understand what's going on (I can sense you really don't) and ask her what she has to say about what's going on.. Keep on reaching to her even if she doesn't relply to you.. If it's possible go to her directly.. This just would show her how much you love her and probably make her consider things... Bolimia is not really a physical sickness. It's mental and something inside her feelings is making her do it.. make her really comfortable about her body and just show how much you love her despite of things... Try getting in the bottom of her emotional issues.. You know what, backing off can actually sometimes mean a cry of help... Don't leave her because she needs someone... The problem is emotional so she really needs someone beside her...
2007-05-16 02:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Chris Lagmay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay well it sounds like she has more issues then just an eating disorder, there was nothing wrong with you telling her you'd be there to help her through it but honestly it doesn't sound like she wants your help, you should just let things go and just find someone else to dedicate yourself to, she has some issues she needs to work out and there's no reason for you to be stuck on the sidelines wondering what could have been, it's not worth it.
2007-05-16 02:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by diamond694ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it was a bad idea. She is obviously going through something and doesn't want your help so back off. Let her deal with it in her own way. Sounds like her self esteem is pretty low. The best thing to do is to move on. If she wants your help she'll ask for it. But it sounds like she doesn't want it or you.
2007-05-16 02:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by sweettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it doesn't sound like it was a bad idea telling her tha tyou would be there for her but she just may not be ready to accept the help. Who knows at what stage she is dealing with this and may not be ready to face it herself let alone with someone else. you have done all you can do. Now you have to either sit and wait or move on .
2007-05-16 02:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude, I kno you must love her to go through all that, but TRUST ME!!!! ive been there, its not worth it. Either she has major depression issues or shes playin you.
You need to find another girl...you better hope she dosnt come back cuz if she does shes going to play hocky with your heart. If shes going to be that much of a b*tch then shes not for you.
You seem like a great guy thats willing to put up with alot for the right girl, but thats just too much. shes really not worth it
2007-05-16 02:27:43 · answer #7 · answered by Seth G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but she still needs her space. Just give it time, and little encouragement notes every few weeks. That way she knows you care, and she will realize that you will always be there for her.
2007-05-16 02:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by megan b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its only been 2 weeks so i wouldnt get my hopes up yet. But she just dosent want ya buddy, she has some issues herself and she cant be with ya
2007-05-16 02:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by broz215 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is a women not a disorder. if you care be there, if she cares she will find you. don't act like a loser, let her come and go and if she asks give your opinion not your sermons. are you sure it was bulima and not just you that was making her batf?
2007-05-16 02:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by Sharmayne H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋