This sunday was my birthday. I got a very nice gift from a friend. However I was busy all day on that day. Then next morning I found out a friend of mine passed away few days earlier. So I was devasted.
So I tried my best to show my friend how much I appericate the gift. I cooked a scone for him and emailed him a thank you note and explained him I may be a bit down because my friend passed away.
Tonight I got a angry email from him becuase I didn't express my apperication enough and complain about how I forgot he doesn't eat bread.
This really pissed me off. He know I would be busy on my b-day. Then I found out my friend die the very next morning. Should I return the gift? What should I do?
2007-05-15 19:03:25 · 7 answers · asked by Honor Among the Demons 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
He acts like the jerk and YOU have to suffer and return the nice gift? Oh no no no no no.
He has behaved horribly! A gift is given with no thought of acknowledgement or appreciation expected. That's why it is called "a gift".
Rise above this. Do not reply to his email. Get a thank you card and hand write him what he "feels he deserves"....
Dear ___,
I am very sorry that you feel I have not expressed enough gratitude in having received my gift. I will understand if you do not feel that there is enough in it for you to ever present me with a present in the future. I do, however, want to assure you that I adore my _____ and as soon as I am in a better state in coming to terms with the death of ____ than I will (use it, wear it, etc) at the earliest possible convenience. Thank you for being so kind as to remind me of your dietary restrictions. I will do better to fight through my anguish and feelings of loss to remember these things in the future. Once again, thank you for the lovely gift.
Sincerely,
____
.........and let him receive it and just sit back and feel like the @ss that he is.
:) :)
2007-05-15 19:14:50 · answer #1 · answered by J S 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Don't return it. Put it on the shelf and when you need to give someone else a gift, pull it out and pass it on.
Seems the person who gave you this gift is very selfish and only gives gifts in order to receive thanks. Gifts should be given with no strings or expectations attached, otherwise they are not gifts at all.
If you have already explained that you forgot about his dietary choice, and you have already apologized for not getting back with him sooner to say thanks for the gift, just let it go. You have done what you should have done. Now it is time for your friend to do the right thing and forgive you and move on. This friend is trying to control you.
I am very sorry about the passing of your other friend.
Have a great day!
2007-05-16 03:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by JV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cook something else for him (whoever doesn't eat bread? And expects the rest of the population to treat that as a normality? Weirdo!!!).
Do NOT whine about how sad you are. You are not in a 'I am the saddest' contest. Do NOT try to get understanding for your situation because it would simply mean you are overbidding your friend in sadness; and your sadness is bigger than his.
Doing so is impolite because you put your friend in a position where you demand his apologies when he is in fact expecting yours.
At most, tell him you were distracted without going in to why and how, he upset you with his fierce reaction to your scone, here is another thing you cooked/made, thank you again for the present.
Leave it to your friend to find out why you were distracted. Don't return the gift because that means you don't appreciate it - which is not the case.
There was a misunderstanding AFTER the gift. Make up for it and keep the gift.
2007-05-15 22:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would not return the gift. I would talk with him or e-mail him another nice letter telling him how sorry you are for not responding in a way he felt was appropriate. Maybe ask if you could take him to dinner or out sometime as a way to make it up to him. Sending the gift back will just result in more hurt feelings.
2007-05-15 19:08:44 · answer #4 · answered by mb20and151 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Is it common practice for this "friend" to be this boorish?
If it is then keep the gift and lose the "friend".
That kind of friend is too high priced in the maintenance department.
2007-05-15 20:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by Chaplain John 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was very rude.
Keep the gift, explain that you were busy at that time.
If he does this often I would not consider him a friend.
2007-05-16 01:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him back the gift. Tell him you cannot see yourself continuing a friendship with someone who cannot understand how devastating a death can be, and who puts their own selfish feelings ahead of your grieving ones.
He'll either get it and learn from the experience, or he won't. Either way, you need to be done with him.
2007-05-15 19:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋