one is not married and has two children, one is not married. I have one daughter who I have always dreamed of having a fairy tale wedding for. My daughter also would like a memorable wedding. The problem is that when I mention this my husband brings up the amount of money this will cost us. I have good job myself work 4 days a week. We have many disagreements over money. He is an accountant and he is very frugal with money. My daughter has met a wonderful guy and I know she will be getting married in the next few year. I know there is going to be a blow out with us when this happens. Do you think it's wrong to want a really nice wedding for her. I never had a big wedding but I know she would like one and I want her too. Is there any advice you could offer me?
2007-05-15 17:51:30 · 19 answers · asked by luh 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Her father is involved a bit in her life but is not too dependable. You are right that is shouldn't matter that he has four to my one but it does seem to matter that none of his children had a real wedding.
2007-05-15 18:00:48 · update #1
Find out if the two were married by a JP because that is what they wanted, or if it was because your hubby was too stingy to pay for it.
They might just not have wanted all the fuss.
It is all about choice after all.
This is your only daughter and it really shouldnt matter what his kids did, it is what she wants for her wedding day. Does this man controll all of your finances? I hope not.......
I would start putting away as much as you can now to help pay for your daughters wedding. Also sit your daughter down and honestly explain the situation to her. Tell her what you would like to do for her but explain the money thing. I am sure that between the two of you you can plan a gorgeous wedding on a shoestring budget. It is amazing what you can do. And I am sure she and her fiance will be more than happy to chip in where they can if it is important to them to have a beautiful wedding.
Planning ahead is the important bit.
Then also sit your scrooge of a husband down and explain to him that although he did things a certain way with his four kids, you only have the one daughter and you want to give her a proper wedding. He can help with the expenses, or not but just let him know the way it is going to be. An accountant really shouldnt be that short of cash anyway. He shouldnt be controlling your finances anyways, you said you work...then that is your money.
I am guessing your daughter isnt even engaged yet, so sounds like you have time up your sleeve. Get saving, and planning now. Good luck.
2007-05-21 10:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you can, start saving for her wedding now. Putting a little away at a time shouldn't hurt too much. You don't want to jeopardize your relationship with your husband over this, but use this time to come to an agreement you can both live with. Your daughter can also help to pay for her own wedding hopefully too. You can have a very nice wedding without having to spend an extravagant amount of money. Good luck. I hope your daughter has a beautiful wedding, like every woman should have!
2007-05-20 18:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by wendygirl1000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married next March. I never had a dream wedding either, but I did give my daughter the most beautiful wedding and I did not spend but $500.
i also am planning my wedding, and I am on very low budget! Just start as soon as you can to be able to do it all at low cost and if you like I can give some good advice!
And have many money saving ideas! I`m sure you can please both your daughter and husband!
Be Blessed, Susan
2007-05-20 10:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start saving now. If you talk to your husband- maybe not mention th fairy tale part- but mention that you have a feeling she will want to get married soon and that maybe you guys should start setting money aside. If you start saving in little bits it might not seem like so much. Or start a savings account for special events- for your daughter's wedding and for a vacation of some sort. Your daughter will probably have to contribute if she wants a big wedding, maybe she and her bf should saving too.
2007-05-15 20:21:56 · answer #4 · answered by K S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband probably sees a big wedding as a waste of money. Your daughter will remember her wedding day for the rest of her life, no matter where it's held and no matter how much money is spent on it. Maybe you should consider putting the money you would spend on her wedding towards something that will last a little longer into the marriage, like a deposit on their new house, or setting up a college fund for their first child. I'm sure your husband would see this as a better investment.
2007-05-15 18:07:35 · answer #5 · answered by sissle_v 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not wrong that you want the best for your childs wedding. There definitely are ways that you can have a Fairy Tale wedding without all the costs! The only thing you really need to figure out is how elaborate you want to go with catering decorations and the dress. Those are the main expenses I have found in planning my own wedding.
2007-05-21 08:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by RedSkyOne1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is admirable that you have this dream for your daughter but she may not want a huge wedding. Keep in mind too that if wishes were horses beggars would ride.
It sounds like you two are older and it is time to think about saving for your retirement as well. Weddings are only for one day but you may be working for years to pay it off if you go outside of your means. Give your daughter the best wedding you can but not at the cost of yourself or your own marriage. It should be about marriage and comitting to one another, not how big a wedding you can throw.
2007-05-20 09:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could start putting away money for her now and that will not take away from household bills. That way when it comes up you can say we already have X amount saved. You can have a really nice wedding under 10K dollars. Heck you could have a nice wedding for a few thousand. Because of your differences about how you spend money and what this means for you and your daughter you will definitely have to foot most of the bill and be prepared to deal with him thinking you spent too much money.
2007-05-15 17:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't mention if her father is in the picture at all, but if he would split the cost, would that make your husband feel better? What he chooses to do with his children does not have to be equal with yours, after all, he has four to your one. If you know she will be getting married in the next few years, start saving now. But also remember that a wedding is just one day, a marriage is a lot longer.
2007-05-15 17:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people these days pay for their own weddings. You are not responsible for shelling out thousands of dollars for one day--it's truly unnecessary. I am having a wonderful, small destination wedding and a reception for 175 upon my return. The total cost for absolutely everything (and a week's honeymoon) is $5,000...which will be entirely paid off before the wedding even takes place. My fiance and I paid $4,000 of this ourselves. Our parents put in the other thousand. You can have a beautiful, memorable wedding with a small budget. You do not need to go into debt or get a divorce over this.
2007-05-16 09:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋