My son is screaming a throwing a temper tandrum because we put him in bed and hes not ready. I think if she keeps giving in to him because he cries, he will son become spoiled and we will go through this ever night... she thinks he just wants his momma and by just letting him cry himself to sleep, we are being mean... what should we do?
2007-05-15 16:36:45 · 24 answers · asked by greygirl06 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My wife wants me to mention that he now knows how to open his door, he has just started sleeping in a toddler bed within three months. Does that make a difference
2007-05-15 16:51:38 · update #1
Keep in mind he is only 18 months... the wife says he is still and infant... I say he is no a toddler
2007-05-15 16:53:07 · update #2
We practiced family bed until my son was two, then transitioned him to sleeping in his toddler bed in our room, and then about a month or two later to his own room.
both transitions went smoothly.
so it's not necesssarily true that letting your child sleep in your bed will cause problems later.
Try to give your son some of your time before he goes to bed. snuggle and read a story. this ritual allows him time to get used to the idea of going to bed.
2007-05-15 17:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by answer faerie, V.T., A. M. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is throwing a screaming fit, and he is not sick or hurt, then too late...he is already spoiled. And now that she constantly gives in to him, the fight to reverse that is going to be an uphill battle that will last for quite a while. You should put him in his crib, turn on some soft music, mobile whatever, kiss him, and walk out. And she should NOT go back in since she seems to be the root of the problem. About every 5-10 minutes ( we based it on his mobile, it played for 7 minutes, so when the music went off we went in) turn on the music, lay him back down, FIRMLY say, it is night night time, or whatever phrase you use, make sure you use the same one, do not pick him up, do not coddle him, And DO NOT give in, it will take a lot of nights a LOT of crying and a lot of headache, but you need to make sure he is not getting ahead of you guys in other areas either, he should know what no means, and he should follow basic rules. Good luck
2007-05-15 16:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most child experts do not recommend having babies sleep with adults, as it could become habit forming. Not only that, but in the case of infants, the parent could roll over on him or her and cause the baby to smother or get hurt. The baby should be soothed when it is crying or throwing a tantrum, and make sure there is nothing wrong with him physically. but then let him cry it out. He'll soon catch on that crying will not lead to spending the night in mom and dad's bed. No, it is not being mean. It is preventing the child from becoming spoiled, and the parents from becoming slaves.
2007-05-15 16:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My doctor said that most sleep habits are ok depending on what you want to deal with. If you don't want him in bed with you, then you do have to show a little tough love. At 18 months, it's getting to be a power struggle. We had to hold the door closed so my child couldn't get out until she learned that there was no way we were going to give in. (She was a little older though) On super nanny they had the mother sit in the room with the baby/toddler -- they didn't interact with the child though. Every night they stood a little further away until eventually they were able to just leave the room. It worked on the show . . .it looked really hard for the mom though. Good luck!!
2007-05-15 16:46:49 · answer #4 · answered by carebear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
. Try a little tenderness.In some countries they believe that when children sleep alone they will grow to be independent .If you and your wife are working he sees so little of you. Why not YOU take him to his room and read to him.How much time do YOU spend with your son each day. There is nothing
wrong with your eighteen month old son. Do not put him to bed TUCK him to bed with a story / song and the magic touch a hug with love .Children have this natural instinct if they are wanted or not.
2007-05-19 13:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by thumba 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy your wife the book...Baby Wise... Let her figure it out on her own.... Remember, just because it is revelation to you doesn't mean she sees it. She will understand when the time is right... BUY THE BOOK... We never let our daughter sleep in our bed, but I started the horrible habit of rocking her to sleep every night... So that meant anytime she woke up or got sleepy I had to stop what I was doing and rock her back to sleep. Children need to learn how to put themselves to sleep! They need that boundary set. BUY THE BOOK! Good Luck... Don't be too hard on your wife. She's doing all she knows to do!
2007-05-15 18:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by Gym Owner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let him sleep in your bed now it will become an issue later. I know many people who did this and they have 10,12,13yr olds sleeping/climbing in their beds in the evening. This is not acceptable, the parents bed should be off limits. It will be hard but she needs to put him to bed and wait outside his door, when he comes out she needs to put him back in. It may take several times before he actually gives up and falls asleep. It may take a couple weeks of doing this and it will be extremely hard. You will need to help as well, but that is the only way to fix it
2007-05-15 17:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son was the same way. I let him sleep in my bed when he freaked out and he never got out of it. If you don't break the habit now he will never get used to sleeping in his own bed and always be sleeping in yours. I think that the child crying gets to the mom more then the dads in my expeirence, but crying is not mean and it wont have any bad effects on them.
2007-05-15 16:42:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him in his bed with a bear and have a nite light on. Tell him big boys sleep in their own big beds and mommy & daddy are in the room next door and he is fine. He might cry some but its better to break this habit now then when he is five. :) best wishes!
2007-05-15 16:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by J&A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a thought, there is nothing wrong with this for now. Believe it or not the child is learning compassion theough this and later on it will pay off. Children who have Attachment disorder grow up without a concience becuase they are neglected in the first three years of their lifes. These children lack compassion for others becuase it was not shown to them when they are young. The first three years teaches the child important lessons that help them avoid future problems.
2007-05-15 16:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by Sergeant 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋