Depressed and anxious after death of a sibling..?

Question

Since last October Ive been extremely depressed and anxious. My brother died then, and I kind of don't know what to do with myself. I always think friendsa re out to get me even though I know they really aren't. I don't care as much about school, although I am an excellent student. I am tired all the time and find it hard to set goals and achieve them. I have a therapist who I talk to every week, but sometimes it doesn't help. I have ADHD and take medication for it, but I no longer take it and my parents don't know that. I feel anxious about everything and need everything to be up front and know about everything that is going on. If i feel frightened in anyway, my heart rate goes through the roof, I get dizzy and I feel extremely jittery and nauseous. I am frequently depressed and I need help. Does anyoone have suggestions?

Answer 1

Let me say that I am sorry for your loss.

There is a difference between clinical depression and grief although they look much alike, they are biologically different. Depression is a biological brain disorder. Grief, is a normal reaction, a way of coping with great loss. Many psychotherapists are not trained much in grief counseling. You brother died very recently. You grief is normal.

Can you have both grief and depression, yes. People with ADHD are more prone to depression than the general population. As someone else said, open up to your parents, let them know about not taking the meds. You need to discuss with whoever is prescribing these meds that you are not taking them. Most ADHD meds have an anti-depressant effect. You should discuss going on them again and perhaps adding an anti-depressant for a period of time.

It also may be helpful to talk to a grief counselor, a therapist who specializes in grief issues for five to ten sessions in addition to your regular psychotherapist. Pastorial Counselors are often good with grief issues. They are not always Christian although most are. They are clergy who are also trained as psychotherapists and can help with spiritual issues around grief. They do not try to convert you. I know a Rabbi and a Priest who are both excellent, although I am not Jewish or Catholic.

I will give you one link where you can read about depression.
Free screenings at Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: http://www.dbsalliance.org and choose learn about depression and bipolar disorder

Answer 2

I can relate to you as I also experienced a death of a sibling, have ADHD and have experienced the symptoms you described. First get back on your medication along with an antidepressant. For me paxil relieved the anxious, jittery, frightened type feelings you described. Next counseling for your grief, if possible work with your therapist in finding a support group. Finally, with time the hurt will lessen and become bearable but not ever completely disappear. My only sibling, a brother died in 1985 and I still feel the loss and have a void that never completely closed.

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you. This last June, my brother died and then 6 months later my mom died. On top of that, I was going through a terrible divorce during that time. I have anxiety and depression also. First of all, you need to start taking your medication again. I am ADD also. It will help you through the bad times. You may not see the effects, but it helps you function better. Keep going to your therapist. Talking out your emotions with a third party helps even though you dont think going to him is doing you any good. Maybe its possible that you need some other help with medication. Ask your therapist or your family doctor. Anxiety is a horrible thing and it is very crippling at times. But you CAN control it. There are many anxiety relieving tapes that you can listen to. Be good to yourself and do deep breathing exercises. They have tapes on that too. Ask your therapist. Tell him you dont think its working. See what other alternative there are. For me, I needed medication to control the anxiety and the depression and I feel great now. There is something called EMDR. Ask your therapist about this. Mine did this to me and it works. It has to do with different sides of the brain and storing information. I am able to deal with my mom and brother's deaths now. I hope you find the help you need. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am so sorry about your loss. I could not imagine life without my brother. That being said I don't think you should be off your medication. There is a good reason you are on it and if you don't feel like it is working you need to be switched to a different kind. As far as your depression goes I strongly suggest you tell your therapist about this. Depression is an awful feeling and there is also medication for that as well. I know because I have been there. If you need anyone to talk to other than your therapist of course you can email me at [e-mail]. I would gladly be your friend in your time of need. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

First and foremost, talk honestly to your parents. Changing your medication, i.e., stopping the meds for ADHD, at this time is not advisable. Also, be very honest with your therapist not only what you are thinking but the med change. Sounds like you may have anxiety attacks now as a response to your family death.

Sorry you lost your brother. Time will help things became in better respective. Just remember that he will always be part of your heart.

Answer 6

For starters I am extremely sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I know the feeling because two months ago I lost my mom. She was my everything. I also am suffering from depression and I hear things. One good thing is that you are seeking help professionally so Thank God for that. As for your ADHD you need to take your medicine sweetie. It is there to help you. When you get frightened by anything just breath. Take like 3 or 4 deep breaths and relax. I personally think that its your mind playing tricks on you. You will be fine. But in order to feel better you have to take your medications. Oh and keeping yourself occupied would be great. It keeps your mind off of things that get to you. So stay strong and keep your head up. Things will get better for you. Oh yeah and your friends are not out to get you. If that was the case then they aren't your friends. Friends are your support on everything and anything. They would never hurt you. Good luck baby and Take care

Answer 7

I'm sorry about the loss of your brother. Depression and anxiety and much of what you describe are part of the grief. Do you know why you quit taking your ADHD meds? Suggestions: 1.) Notify your parents and therapist about your ADHD med change. Leave a note if you can't tell them. Tell someone at school if you still can't do it. 2.) Print this posting and give it to your parents and therapist and someone at school. 3.) Whenever the anxiety starts, put your hand on your belly and take three slow deep breaths, feeling how your belly will rise under your hand as you fill it as completely as you can with air. Simple deep breaths like this cause your body to deal better with the psychobiology of anxiety.
4.) Start a journal and WRITE and draw.
5.) Follow the suggestion of others here to connect with groups of others in this distress like compassionate friends. 6.) Be very gentle and patient with yourself.

Answer 8

It takes at least a couple of years to get over a death, esp. when it's someone you were close to. Just try to get yourself busy. Get a job, play a new sport, just try to get your mind off of it. Also, try something new with your image, the better you feel about yourself, the easier it is to be happy.
P.S. It's totally okay to be upset about your bro. But just remember: everyone dies. It was just his time. And remember you have family and friends who love you and want the best for you, so don't let these sad feelings go too far. Your family has gone throught a lot, and harming yourself won't help. TAKE YOU MEDICATION.

Answer 9

That is kind of like me, My father died this febuary, and I've become very depressed after his death. Since we where very close. Some times thereapists don't help. Are you on any meds for depression? If not, I'd go see a doctor and talk to them, nad keep taking your medicine for your ADHD.

When I'm stressed out or Depressed, I got and work out or do yard work or something that gets me physical active, since your brain releases some kind of chemical or something that makes you happy. So I hoped that help!

Answer 10

I dont kno if this will help you at all but it ALWAYS helps me so here it goes......i dont know if your a christian or not but you really dont have to be to accomplish this......whenever i am depressed, cuz i went thru that 2 when some1 close 2 me died first of all i pray to God to help me through this becuz it will be awfully hard to do it w/o him....secondly i go through a bible and just look through the concordance and read verses of encouragement.....thirdly the therapist mite help u alot but what would help you even more is talking to someone who understands going thru a death like that and talk to them, let out all your feelings and let them give you advice on things
im not sure if this will help you but you could always give it a try.....it wouldnt hurt