How to discipline a 15 year old?

Question

Sorry for this being so long-but i need to figure it out please read and help! I am one of 6 children and im the youngest besides my brother who is 15-we are all grown up and hes the only one left to really take care of. My mom was a stay at home mom and raised all of us and her way of discipline was "guilt" she never grounded us or anything but we all knew right from wrong and i would say we are all well rounded..My younger brother is a sophomore in high school and he wont get up for school at least two days out of the week. He is a good kid-doesn't cause trouble at school but he just doesn't like to wake up in the morning they have tried everything from switching his schedule to seeing a Psychologist. He has no sense of guilt and it doesn't seem like he has any respect he just doesn't care to change-hes about as responsible as a 8 year old. If anyone has a solution or anything that could help please give me some ideas,i know i shouldn't be worrying about him but somebody has to.Thanks

Answer 1

Actually, you have every right to worry about him. I'll be 15 in August so I know what you mean by the guilt not being present at all in his personality. I don't think the psychologist is the way to go though. Let him know that he's a smart kid and he needs to make something of himself because you know that he's perfectly capable of doing just that. Spend some time with him (just you and him) and try to get to know him better, Maybe he's having problems that you don't know about. Don't ask him right away if he's having problems. Ask him what he likes to do and what his school it like. It will take a while to mold the relationship and make him become comfortable around you but it will work. After a while, he'll actually tell you what goes on in his mind. Maybe he just needs someone to talk to. As far as discipline goes, obviously discipline really doesn't help because he doesn't have any guilt for the wrongs he makes. My parents ground me from certain things... like the computer when I don 't do my chores. Or if I respond carelessly then they explain to me that my response was disrespectful. Try things like that. Im my opinion, it works fairly well. I hate being grounded but what teenager doesn't?

Answer 2

No beatings. Absolutely no beatings; even if if she hits you (just walk away). I am a firm believer in corporal punishment for deliberate willful acts of disobedience in a child but she's too old with too much negative history for that. I would try to work on reinforcing the positive behavior and heavy subtraction on privileges on negative behavior. This probably means that you will have to suffer when does wrong too, but that's a sacrifice that you'll have to make if you want the best for her. So if she's on lockdown, you're on lockdown to ensure she stays locked down. Take the phone once, take it twice. Third time, it never comes back. NEVER. Money is earned, not given. There is always volunteer work of some sort at least once per month. Service to an older family member somewhere is important too; make her give back for what she is receiving. Love her through all of this. Remember, she is a teenage girl without her Mom. You are all that she has. Be patient when the going gets tough but do hold your ground. But don't let a day go past without her letting you know that you love her.

Answer 3

Yes, it is called tough love. Put a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed and pull or push him right out of the bed. Shake him to wake him and tell him if he is not out of the bed in five minutes, cold water will be thrown on him. Go into his room and tell him to wake up, if not you will be coming back with a pot and a hammer, then hammer away over his head. Be consistent, never giving in to him. Some people do have a hard time waking up. But they usually keep to a pretty tight sleeping schedule to help them. Encourage the use of a snooze alarm, but he is only allowed two snoozes and he has to get up or all or some of the above will happen to him. DON'T STOP AND BE CONSISTENT!!!

Answer 4

it's perfectly ok to worry about your brother... if you wish to feel concern, you can -- and it seems you care.

first of all, "guilt" isn't a good thing to use to motivate a child. in fact, it's got to be horrible to go around feeling guilty about things all of your life... GUILT is for CRIMINALS. you don't sound like a criminal. it's not a good thing to bestow upon others, especially our children... it's the equivalent of manipulation. very bad psychologically on a person. i gave it up years ago...

sometimes, teenaged kids are growing so fast that it actually wears them out. a good pediatrician will tell you that sometimes, teenagers need about 14 hours of sleep a day... and that most kids today dont get nearly enough rest.

i'm not making excuses for your brother, just trying to make you aware of the fact that he might not be getting proper rest. maybe he could go to bed earlier.

if nothing else, perhaps your parents could take him to a good doctor for a thorough physical. hopefully, nothing is wrong with him, short of a growth spurt and not nearly enough rest.

take care, i hope things work out and that you can dump the guilt...

Answer 5

As a fellow HS sophomore i also sometimes struggle with getting up in the morning. My advise is make him go to sleep earlier. eventually he will get used to waking up early, but if you let him sleep later or even let him stay home then he will never change. tell your mom to make sure he wakes up and if he doesn't he needs to understand that there will be consequences to missing the bus, getting to school late and or staying home and sleeping. Also i find that morning showers help wake me up when i am falling asleep.

Answer 6

Get a bucket, fill it with ice and water and let it set for about 10 minutes to make sure that it's real icy and cold. Then throw it on him. That'll get him in gear.

Answer 7

It's really up to your mum to do the worrying. I'd suggest taking away his priviliges, no going out on weekends or take away his tv or video console.

Your mum should be doing that though

Answer 8

do what i do! YELL! dont use guilt, no body falls 4 that anymore! tell that to get his *** up in the morning, and if that dont work, lock the bathroom door ten minutes after the time he was suppose to wake up... if he really wants to use the bathroom, he'll learn to wake his *** up! and tell him to go to sleep at an earlir time!

Answer 9

Take him to your family doctor. He might have an answer to his behavior or at least a good suggestion on how to fix it.

Answer 10

make him go to sleep earlier and show him how fast he can fail for that and that your parents can get in trouble with the police for that