For over 7 years my MIL has been poison in my life: trying to seperate my husband and myself, playing us against each other, lying, and verbally abusing the both of us. After 7 years (and a bad incident where she was verbally abusing us in front of my then 8 month old) we cut her from our lives.
It has been 2 years since I saw her last...but it appears as if we will both be going to a family reunion together over Memorial Day. I will have my two children with me (1.5 and 3 yo). I want it to be a nice reunion...but the tension is already starting. How do I survive a long weekend with her and her family and yet avoid her? Should I completely ignore her? Should I be civil but short? She has never seen my youngest daughter...what if she wants to hold her and play with her? I honestly don't know what to do...
2007-05-15 12:43:14 · 10 answers · asked by aziahh30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just as a side note: there is no way in h*ll I would ever give her another chance...that is how bad she is and the situation is between us.
2007-05-15 12:45:06 · update #1
since there will be lots of people there, keep it civil You don't have to be her "friend". Just have fun with the family. If things are that bad, most people will already know about the situation.
2007-05-15 12:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a predicament you are in. You did not say how your husband feels about it. The two of you need to be on the same page. Be cautious when it comes to your kids so they do not get caught in the middle. Try your best to be civil and keep it that way. The rest of the family will certainly notice the tension. Try your best and if things go sour then excuse yourself from the party and enjoy your husband and children and move on. I do hope all works out at the Reunion and you have a good time.
2007-05-15 13:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be civil when you are both in the same vicinity, if you come face to face with her then introduce her to your youngest. Then excuse yourself (say you need to check the baby's diaper, need to use the restroom, take the kids outside what ever excuse will work) and put some distance between both of you. Try to enjoy the other family members and the reunion, just keep some space between your MIL and your kids. Just find a reason to get away from her. Maybe solicit help from another family member to intervene if needed. "Oh, Mary, I was just wondering if you could help me over here with this?"
2007-05-15 13:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by hr4me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept that she is your husbands mother nothing on earth can change that fact. Also remember the fact that a DIL and MIL relation can never be the best. However just be normal this time you see her don't talk too much adn dont be quite too if at any point you think things will get out of hand excuse your self and go away to washroom or start talking to someone else or just disappear from that place for awhile. If she wants to play with your kids let her instead leave the kids with her. They are best medicines. Don't panic. If your husband is in your side nothing will go wrong. all the best
2007-05-15 12:56:17 · answer #4 · answered by Jenniffer S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To tell you the truth I wouldnt go. But your husband probably wants to. so you will have to just be polite, gracious and a diplomat. If she starts in again, try to always have someone with you like a witness so later you can discuss with your husband why this is a huge problem. Who is giving this reunion? Hmm If it is She, then maybe she is trying to change, but I doubt it. This can escalate again when the children are old enough for her to 'poison' with her talk.
2007-05-15 13:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I want you to give her another chance or at least temporary until the reunion is over. It would be best to amends the difference. You don't have to continue to associate with her. At least if you amends the friendship when you do deal with her, she will be respectful especially in the presence of your children.
If there's a relative that can you trust, share your concern with that person and request for their help. Let that person know that your intentions is not usher any problems, but to have a wonderful time. Maybe the person can talk to your MIL for you. If your MIL do act-up remind her that the kids are presence.
Your best bet is to be civil, but short until you feel comfortable regarding her behavior. If you trust her to hold your cute daughter, make arrangements for you and your husband to watch her. I really pray you all have a wonderful time.
God Bless
2007-05-15 13:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you really want to go to this reunion, you need to tell your husband you'll go but no one better start any **** with you and if they do, you expect him to defend you and the kids and get you out of there ASAP. If your MIL approaches your kids and wants to hold them and you don't want her to, tell her no. You're their mother and you have the say so as to holds your kids and who doesn't.
2007-05-15 13:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can be nice at the reunion be civil but short interduce her to your youngest daughter then just walk away and go play with your children you be the better person go luck
2007-05-15 12:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by euchremom04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short and civil. Try and keep plenty of distance. Have a way to say bye and leave when she is around if things tart to get unpleasent.
2007-05-15 13:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak cordially, then drift to someone else. Concentrate on your family and others present. Don't let resentment ruin this reunion.
2007-05-15 12:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋