I keep worrying about how I'll go on without her even though I'm not a child and don't live with her. I keep thinking,"I'll be crushed with grief!" She's in her 60s. That seems ancient. I can't imagine living another 37 years! She still gets around okay and seems okay, (except for the fibromyalgia) but things could change so fast and I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that day!
2007-05-15 11:51:40 · 27 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi, l am 51 years old, I lost my mother when I was 14 years old, my father died when I was 26 years old. I loved both parent but my mother was my heart and soul. Her birthday was four days ago she would have been 93 years old.
It still hits my hard and I wish everyday that God would let me have some time with her. It is coming to me (more time) in his time.
Enjoy any time that you have with her and let her know that you love her. If there is anything to make up to her, do it now. Be glad that you have had her this long and maybe a lot longer, you don't know. But you sitting around thinking about it, does not help her or you. I would hate to know that my child is sitting around counting the minutes before she thinks I am going to die. Let it go there is a lot of time to grief after that time comes. When it does it is her time, she did her job here.
As far as the fibromyalgia, I have it as well, it is painful but the doctors did not tell me it is life threatening.God Bless both of you and keep your faith.
2007-05-15 16:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Third_Hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both my parents are dead, so I've been through what you're worrying about.
My dad died when he was 54 (when I was 23), and my mom was 66 (when I was 39).
No, it's never the same.
That doesn't mean life isn't worth living though. Nothing is ever the same, life keeps changing all the time - some things get better, some things worse.
You do get over the grief though. You have to. It's crushing for a while, but you simply have to get over it and live your life. That's what they did.
The best thing to do, is to appreciate your parents (and everyone you love) NOW, while they're still here.
Things were not always wonderful between myself and my parents, but you know what? I'd give everything I own, to repeat the worst day I ever had with them.
If you can think like that, you'll get the most out of them now, and won't feel guilty when they're gone.
2007-05-15 11:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by dork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 60 years old and have a 39 year old son. I am in good health, get around quite well and still can get a nice smile from a man and even go out on dates.
No one is ready for when someone dies. Your mother could live another 30 years if not more. What you need to do is continue to create wonderful memories together, take pictures, have a sleep over and just laugh and have fun.
It is very difficult when a parent dies, a child dies, a sibling dies or even when a pet dies. Each day we greave and each day gets better.
Don't go so far into the the "what if's" of life, enjoy each single day with your mother as you still have a lot to learn from her.
2007-05-15 11:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother died a year ago. It was hard because I sat next to her as she was dying, although I left before she died. She died on a Saturday night and it was hard. I almost cried for my voice teacher because I had seen him that day and was worried about her dying. I cried on the phone for my friend who also lost a grandma when she was really young.
The point is I thought life wouldn't be the same, and it wasn't in some ways. I couldn't call her anymore, I couldn't hear her bugging me about how much cleavage i was showing, and she wasn't there at family functions anymore. Still, life goes on. I went back to school the following Monday and let the healing began. I finished 8th grade and started Highschool, I made new friends and kept old ones, I developed crushes and even became someone's crush, and i did the musical. I thought about her the whole time mainly because one of the guys in the cast was losing his grandpa. i knew she was watching though.
Your mom isn't dead yet, don't worry. Live life to it's fullest and cherish the moments you have with loved ones. I can't imagine life w/o my mom,but I couldn't imagine life w/o my grandma either. Time heals and your life will be different, but everything changes so why worry?
2007-05-15 12:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by sunnygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you that you will never be ready for that day. My mother was 73 (and I am sure that seems very ancient to you) and was in real good health. It was a shock and no, life was not the same after that and this has been almost five years ago.
You do go on with life but I don't thinnk anyone else loves y ou as your parents do. I still hate that my mother is gone.
2007-05-15 11:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worried about this and guess what, it happened... my mother just turned 68, which is not old, I worried for years about her leaving me alone, and then out of the blue, that is exactly what happened. She was my closest and almost only friend I have. It has only been a month, but I am still surviving and it hurts like hell. But I still get by day by day, not that I want to. Life seems empty now. So hug her now and spend time with her and tell her that you love her before it is too late. I am only 43 and to think I have to continue on without her leaves a hole in my heart.
2015-09-13 09:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by A Yahoo! user 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is difficult to be ready for that day. All you can do now is enjoy the time that you do have with her. Create great memories that will comfort you when the time comes. No one knows what the future will bring. Live in the present and enjoy the life that is present. Death is a difficult part of life and is a certain part of life. Be ready for that day by having a hope of a great afterlife.
2007-05-15 12:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not exactly the same but neither will it be profoundly different. Hopefully your life will keep you more than too busy to experience a huge change. You will think of her fondly and think of her sadly and humorously and everything in between but those Will be fleeting moments. the longest you'll probably ever dwell on it is to wonder if it normal not to think about her or be affected by her more often. The waiting or anticipation when you learn to accept it is invariably coming closer is the hardest part
2007-05-15 12:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
life goes on, with or without our loved ones... i thought i'd be relieved by my father's death (he had been sick a while and was suffering, and not "living" life as he was used to)... it's been almost 5 yrs and i still grieve... sometimes it's a panicky feeling, because i know he's gone and i'll never see him on this earth again or talk with him or hug him... when i think of the day i will lose my mom, i can work myself up into a good panic attack... the "people" who truly love you the most and are watching out over you will be gone, truly a scary feeling for me... i don't think we're ever ready for "that day" and thank heavens, cause i couldn' t bear to live that over and over again... cherish the time you have with her now and let her know how much she means to you... so when that day comes, you'll have no regrets! peace to you
2007-05-15 11:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an existence after your mother goes. Same as when your children have grown and moved away. Things are not the same but you manage and live. I hope you have many wonderful years with your mother and don't dwell much on the thought of not having her around. Love her, see her often , and treat her as the queen she really is.
2007-05-15 12:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by Nan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋