daycare. He was 2 months old. It is very hard to even think about the babysitter with out thinking something bad. The investigator says it is 99.9% sids but they still have to investigate any ways. The local papers have had it on the front page and on the tv. can any one help??
2007-05-15 11:32:00 · 15 answers · asked by blondie2041 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No thank god but I am sorry your are going through this I can't imagine....here is some websites that may help you......you are in my thoughts.
2007-05-15 11:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mommyof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. I've heard of this happening. I do daycare - and part of our licensing is that we know about sids, and take classes on it. I totally understand how you have bad feelings about your daycare - I would too. I live in a small town - and this happend at a daycare in my town. As a daycare provider that is one of my worst fears - that something like this would happen. I don't put the baby in a different room then me -- it sleeps out in the open in the bassinet so I can always check on him..... we are taught to always lay the baby on his back - because of sids. I am sure the daycare provider feels horrible about this - and has gone through the same things and thoughts as you have - is there anything that I could have done differently.. with sids, there is nothing that could have been done. - nothing that could have been done differently. It could have happened at your house -- could have happened at daycare.
Make sure you get all your questions answered from the daycare provider --- if you have questions about how he was sleeping that day - or ANYTHING -- ask- because an unasked question - is an unanswered question -- which will stick with you forever -- you'll always wonder.
Try to find a support group in your area that deals with sids -- maybe even take a sids class --- to learn more about it so you can try to put this behind you, and move on the best you can. Something like this will take you an extemely long time to get over -- but, I think you will realize in time -- that every day gets easier -- you don't forget -- but, you will learn to deal with it -- and not think about it as often.
Sorry for you loss - and just know that with sids- whether he was at your house - or the daycare providers house -- nothing could have been done with sids.
2007-05-19 15:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since 1992 they have done several studies on sids and that it happens more frequently to babies placed to sleep on their tummies, poor mattresses, blankets, items placed around baby, I would think with all the information out there that the daycare was remiss in not closely supervising a sleeping infant. If this happened to my son, I know that what I would do would not be good. Have the investigators check to see if he was on his back or tummy, if the mattresses are firm and of good quality, and how long he was left unsupervised. Sids does not happen in just a minute or so. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
2007-05-23 17:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by carpathian mage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blondie2, please know you have my utmost sympathy. I've been an RN for 50+ years and SIDs has been a mystery for all those years. It has been thought the cause could be a virus, enlarged thymus gland , lack of certain enzymes, but don't think they have pinned it down. Even result of vaccinations. There is research going on and sometimes the parents have found some relief from grief by working with with those people and the support groups. They would have known very soon if if your baby was shaken, had marks and bruises. Many good women must work and find childcare. It's a huge problem today. And there are mysteries enough for each one of us to ponder., and not know the answer - this is where people grab onto faith. IMPORTANT blondie******do not blame yourself !!! Things are out of our hands a lot in this life, we must not be thinking we could have changed our lot. God Bless.
2007-05-23 17:20:17 · answer #4 · answered by F C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sids is an unfortunate thing to have to go through, but it does happen and it can happen anywhere, it could of happened at home too. Hopefully the rest of the investigation will prove it was sids instead of something unthinkable. Sorry for you loss. Is it possible to call your local paper and request they not put it in the paper?
2007-05-15 18:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes..not me but a brother of my friend's. He and his wife had a second baby girl and she was also, i believe 1-2 mos of age. Didn't wake up in the morning. So sweetie u are not alone,and there's much more research to be done about this condition. It's not very well understood, which is why they call it "sudden infant death syndrome".
I am so so sorry for ur loss. Only a mother knows the pain of losing her child, whether they are a two month old, or a 95 year old. My prayers go out to you...God is with u and so is the baby.
2007-05-15 18:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by lilly_of_the_valley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound rude or sound like I'm judging you, because I'm absolutely terribly sorry for your loss and nobody should EVER have to bear the loss of a child. But I personally think that at 2 months old the baby should be being taken care of by its mother, not by a stranger. But there's situations in which you need to work and that's totally understandable. I just think 2 months is soo young to be in day care.
Anyways, I've never heard of anything like that happening before. I really don't know how to help you, I'm sorry. But what you can do to help others, is find a SIDS awareness website and throw it around and spread the awareness because not many people know of SIDS untill it's too late.
Again I'm totally sorry for your loss and I didn't mean to sound rude so I hope you don't think I was. You're very strong to make it through something like this and if you keep your head up it can only get better. My deepest condolences to you and your family and especially your son.
2007-05-16 01:05:32 · answer #7 · answered by hello_stars 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm so sorry. Your anguish must be unbearable. I'm sure your rage at the babysitter, and rage at God for doing this to you, and rage at yourself, feels that it will never subside. It will, but your sadness never will. Slowly, other things will fill your life again and you will actually forget for awhile, actually enjoy things again, until the next time you remember. And then you'll steel yourself back up and get back to living again - in honor of the life your precious one didn't get to live.
Others suffer with you: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/19/daycare.death.ap/index.html
It happens a lot - I noticed several babies died in local day care, just before my son was born.
Call Compassionate Friends.
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
2007-05-19 23:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this just happend at a center i used to work for. i have since quit because of this incident. i dont think that this type of thing should ever be considered "normal" to happen in a place where you pay people money to provide the best care for your child. why are the children not being more closely supervised? i can not imagine dropping your child off and never being able to pick them up. i have seen a lot of bad stuff that happens in "day care" centers. but in every other case, that child got to go home at the end of the day. this baby will never go home. i am wondering what steps i can take to promote higher standards in infant care. any suggestions?
2007-05-19 23:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by seriously 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yah, my best friend just lost her baby, she just didnt wake up in the morning......very sad....im so sorry for you. My son lives on but right after i had him the doc told me bout his life threatning heart problem. He has to have a valve transplant before hes ten. I hope i never have to deal with the loss of my child. Im praying for you.
2007-05-21 16:09:12 · answer #10 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for your loss, what paper i would like to read about it, this is so sad, i would want a full investigation done if it was my child
2007-05-15 18:39:39 · answer #11 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋