any advices?

Question

i have a friend who is almost 18 and still wet bed, it's really personal and sad. doctors doesn't see any medical problem but she's scare she might not go to college, get marry or have a future. she cuts herself and thinks of death a lot. i've tried to help but it's not enough. i need help to help.

Answer 1

First of all, thank you for your desire to support and help your friend with this incredibly difficult and frustrating problem!! Your friend is not alone in wetting the bed at 18 -- it's not talked about very much (would you want to talk about it if it were you?) but it is a LOT more common than you would think. It's a medical condition and not something that is her fault or that she has any control over. The nerve connection between her bladder and brain does not operate properly during the night, which means she literally doesn't feel it when she has to go to the bathroom until it's too late. The lack of development of this connection also means that her bladder does not stretch out during the night to hold her urine like it should, which over the years means that it has not developed the capacity to be able to hold it through the night. Most kids with this condition are told they'll "grow out of it", but the increasing evidence is that many simply do not grow out of it on their own. Again, it is NOT her fault, it is just a matter of how her body and bladder have developed and is outside of her control.

That's what's going on with her... as for what to do about it, that's a harder question... unfortunately there are no "magic bullets" that can just make it completely go away, but there are things that can be done to help. One of the most successful treatments for someone who still has the problem at 18 is a type of alarm clock that sets off a loud alarm as soon as the first drops of wetness hits the sheets, which over time can help her learn to wake up when her bladder fills up to overflowing before she completely wets the bed. It takes time and practice (maybe a few weeks or even months) but they really do work! These can be ordered through a physician or online at http://www.bedwettingstore.com . She can also do exercises called Kegel exercises (run a Google search for these) that can help strengthen the muscles that control her bladder, which are probably a lot weaker than they should be as a result of years of letting go in bed at night.

I hope your friend is able to find some resolution to this... I grew up with the same problem and still have not completely outgrown it now in my late 20s, although thankfully it is MUCH better now than it was when I was younger. The BEST thing you can do for her is just continue to be her friend and support her and reassure her that this is just a medical problem that does NOT do anything to change the great person I'm sure she it -- and any potential friends, dates, etc., if they are worth her time, will see it that way also. This problem should NOT stop her from going to college, marrying, or doing whatever she wants to do -- there are people out there who will support her and understand!!

Take care, and please feel free to contact me (through my profile) if you want to know anything more... best wishes to you and your friend both!!

-- a longtime bedwetter myself, now in my late 20s and happily engaged to be married :)

Answer 2

sounds like she needs a psychiatrist or a psychologist- that is because of the "cutting", not of the bed wetting.

as regards bed wetting, there may be several conditions responsible- from a bladder infection to diabetes. All this needs examination, diagnosis and treatment.

As to the wetting itself, the easiest solution is to drink very little in the evening and set an alarm clock so as to wake up in the middle of the night for a pee. Sure, it is a bother, but many people have the same problem and it is a method of dealing with the problem while waiting for the medical solution to work.

Answer 3

maybe just dont drink or eat so much within an hour or two of going to bed? i dont know exactly what to do about that tho...sry =/ best of luck!

Answer 4

this is a possibilty