How should I handle this?

Question

One of my co-workers has a daughter who is 13 years old. She sends her daughter to private school and is very protective of her. She talks about her a lot.

My daughter is 15 and lives with her Dad in another state. I gave him sole physical and legal custody duriing the divorce.

I feel sad because I can not do as much for my child as she can. I live in another state.

I listen to her speak and don't say much about my personal life. This is a contract job and I don't want to reveal much about my situation.

I just try and change the subject and talk about neutral topics. I don't know what else to do.

I know that if my co-worker found out that I left my daughter with my ex-husband and did not fight for custody, she would be apalled. She said that she lives for her daughter and still "gives her a bath."

Its painful for me to listen to because she also has a good marriage.

Answer 1

Continue to suffer in silence because you are probably right about her understanding your past. Just keep your past life as just that ,your past.

Answer 2

just tell her that you feel uncomfortable discussing your personal life being that you have dealt with a tramatic situation. i think that you should make an effort bc ur daughter needs her mother, u dont want her to resent you do u?? even if it means just talking on the phone once a week, she deserves to have u in her life, i think its hard for you to see what you couldve done for her but dont give up she still has her whole life ahead of her and desperately need her mother!

Answer 3

Whatever your reasons, unless you are a non-functioning alcoholic or drug addict or something really extreme, take it from someone who lost my mother at 15, lost a sister at 36 due to cancer who had 3 kids, your daughter deserves her mother. I know this wasn't your question but obviously it's something you think about daily too.