Engaged and in trouble?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have a daughter. The past 2 years have been very tough with personal problems and we stuck through it..now we want to get married because we know we can overcome anything..but the familes have grown apart...I know they say all in-laws hate each other, but my family and his family can not be in the same room without a fight breaking out. My family hates him and his family really doesn't want us to get married..now the question......should we elope or go for a bigger wedding where there is a chance people won't go.

Answer 1

Just elope. This way you can have a good time at your wedding without worrying who is going to throw the first punch.

If in a year the the in laws are getting along then throw a first anniversary party.

Best Wishes to you and your family.

Answer 2

Do what feels right in your heart. Just a few things to keep in mind: If you are close with your parents or if he is close with his parents, they will likely be hurt/disappointed. Perhaps try talking to the ones that don't like your soon-to-be and find out exactly what it is that they don't like. Let them know how you feel and that you want to get married and ask for their support. It just always sucks leaving out family and celebrating such a big step in your life without family, but you have to do what you have to do. If after speaking with them, they still won't get along, perhaps eloping is the best thing if you feel this strongly for each other. Just try not to burn bridges with family. I have family that I don't talk to (my husband does as well) but we've made so many efforts to do the right thing and that doesn't always work. There is a point and time to just give up and go about your business. Did you finally come to that point?

Answer 3

That's really up to you. If you don't want any fights, and would rather elope, then I say, go for it.

If you've always wanted the dream wedding, and would really appreciate a nice get together where everyone can celebrate your marriage, then simply..maybe not so simply..but it sounded nicer. Tell them flat out that this is for you and your fiancee and they need to get over themselves and let you have your one special day. If they can't even deal with that, then they will simply, not be asked to attend. Hopefully that will knock a little sense into them. Regardless, it's whatever you really want. If you want to elope, then go right ahead, but if a wedding with friends and family is something you want, then you be the bridezilla and tell them!

Congrats, and best of luck to you.

Answer 4

You are better off eloping, the families will just have a bigger fight in a bigger wedding. Just keep in mind that things will never be right between them and there isn't anything either of you can do about it. If you are ok with that, then go for it.

Answer 5

The romance of a big church wedding is antiquated; especially when so long into an ongoing relationship when there is already an existing child. Elope. Invite a few friend to a small reception either at your house or a humble restaurant somewhere. Keep it small, inexpensive and simple.

Answer 6

If you want to get married.....

Anyone who doesn't like it, doesn't have to.

If you want a traditional wedding....anyone who doesn't want to come doesn't have to.

I highly doubt that your family or his, is going to boycott your wedding.

If you think it will be too stressful, and your leaning toward and elope wedding.....you can have a great time by yourselves with all the money you would have spent on the big wedding.

In-laws rarely get along. I can't think of anyone, in my family, or any friends...whose in-laws actually like each other or get along....so that is pretty normal. However, when it comes time to go to the ceremony...there is a reason that two sets of inlaws are supposed to sit on seperate sides of the church..

Do what you want to do, and anyone who doesn't like it.....doesn't have to. Their happiness is not required for your special day !

good luck !

Answer 7

Elope. Or sit down with your parents & his parents only. Tell them of your plans & say that if they don't start getting along, Then you'll just live your lives without them. Regardless you guys stick togeather. Remember that a family is what you make it. Doesn't have to be blood. Could be an older friend that ends up playing the role of grandparent. Dosen't matter. as long as your kids are bought up with love.

Answer 8

If you've always wanted a big wedding, go for it. But if you think people will be selfish on your special day, that they can't get along for a few hours just for you, take the kid and elope. You'll need a couple witnesses, and let her be your flower girl.

Answer 9

I would elope if I were you. This EXTREMELY special day should be centered around you and your future husband. Not around whether the families will get along or not. It's ultimately you and your boyfriend's decision. Think it over and consult good friends (not family!) If it is meant to be, then everyone will get over their differences, and if they can't, just do whatever it takes to keep them apart, for the sake of you and your boyfriend.

Answer 10

If your families can't get along then you should do what you want for yourselves. If that means going to the courthouse and getting married on the steps and then having a party suspiciously void of your families (only friends) then you should do it. If you want a real wedding, then have one, just don't invite anyone who isn't willing to behave themselves on your special day. The day is for you and your soon-to-be husband and not for your familes to beat the crap out of each other. You should do whatever you want, not what anyone else wants. Good luck to you!