should I tell him Im pregnant?

Question

My life is a mess at the moment. I broke up with my boyfriend recently. I just found out Im pregnant, I have decided to keep it as Im against abortion. Should I tell him? I have thought about going back to my country and keeping it a secret. I want to hurt him like he hurt me. I come from a very strict family so my heads all over the place. My friends think I should get rid of it as my career is just geting started. Please help I feel so alone and helpless. I dont want to be a single parent

Answer 1

Yes you should tell him.You don't have to go through this alone and he needs to know that he is going to be a father. Whatever you're going through just know that there are so many people going through worse.Talk to a minister,someone that you trust at your church,or if I could do anything email me

Answer 2

yes your life is a mess! Bringing a kid into it is gonna make it even harder. Suck it up! If your gonna keep it, you should tell him after all you are the one who broke up with him and it takes two. your just upset right now. if your focused on staying with him this is not the way to do it. you don't want to be a single parent but you are setting yourself up to be one.dont have a kid to stay in a failing relationship!..And if you choose to keep the child your gonna need to be a much stronger person so be honest with yourself can you handle it?. Using a kid to hurt someone else is selfish no matter how messed up your relationship is or was. If your family is strict then why put yourself in more trouble by bringing the kid back to your country unless your family is here and you feel safer over there?

Your career will take of even if you have a kid but it will be hard. If you don't have a means(own apartment, job, education and time) to support a child then you definately should think twice.

Answer 3

You are all over the place. Trying to hurt him will in the long run hurt you more than him. You are headed down the path to single parenthood, it's your choice whether or not to be one. Blaming him for your mistakes isn't productive, he didn't make you pregnant by himself. You wanted to get pregnant or you wouldn't be right now, that is the truth.

You have an obligation to tell him, it's morally the right thing to do. However it's still your choice, and if you don't tell him don't expect anything from him. Keep in mind that somewhere down the line, your child will want to meet it's father. What do you think he will say to the child: "well I wanted to be there for you, but your mom wouldn't let me"...yea that won't go over well for you.

Answer 4

If you're going to keep it, don't punish the child out of your desire for revenge against its father.

Do what is best for the child you intend to have, and leave ego and revenge and selfish desires out of the equation. Tell the father so he can be there to support it (as he should be) and because the child will also need to know (for medical reasons at the very least) who both its parents are.

If you don't want to be a single parent, then get married or give the child up. Pregnancy is a frequent side effect of sex...by participating in that activity, you accepted the possibility of that side effect.

Answer 5

I would not get back together with your ex just because you are pregnant. You did break up for a reason, because it wasn't working. However, I do feel that he has a right to know that he is going to father a child. If you don't tell him and he finds out later he might cause more problems for you. Just be honest with him. Tell him that you want to keep the baby but you are going to go back to your country if that is what you want.

Answer 6

First, I am sorry about your situation. It must be a very stressful time for you.

I think you have to make a decision about whether you want to be a single parent or not.

Don't forget about adoption as well. That might ease your mind... that way you're not a single parent, you can move on with your career and you won't be aborting. You can look this up on the internet for your state.

In either way, you should tell him that you are pregnant.

Answer 7

Without getting into the whole abortion debate, I'm just going to say that you need to consider the fact that you might be carrying the life that will find the cure for cancer.

Besides that, consider the fact that your child deserves a father. If your boyfriend is not a threat to you or the child, tell him. He also deserves to know. Put yourself in his shoes...how would you feel if you were him and didn't know you had a child?

Answer 8

If you are going to have the baby you must tell him he is going to be a father, so at least he has a choice whether to be involved with the child or not. He may not make a good decision but you have to tell him. You need to get past the feelings of desiring revenge, because now there is some one in the picture who will need you both and not you two trying to kill each other.

Answer 9

You should tell him. ......!!!
it may be the thing that changes him.
But if it doesn't, remember that the child you carry has done nothing wrong and deserves the life you and your boyfriend created.
Being a single mother is a hard life. And no one has a harder more full time career than a single mother. No one gets more satisfaction than a single mother who finishes the job right.

Tell the man you carry his child.
If he is a man he'll turn around and take responsibility for his child. That doesn't mean you should marry him..but you know that if he asks you should consider it carefully.

Answer 10

It's up to you to decide to keep it or not. What do YOU really want? People can tell you one thing or the other, but in the end you are the one making the final choice.

Not telling him would be wrong though. It does not matter how big a jerk he's been, he has the right to know (note the right to know has nothing to do with the right to decide!).

I hope you'll make the right choice for yourself whatever it is.