He is 6 now and just wonder when would be the best time?
2007-05-15 08:51:19 · 23 answers · asked by auntie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is old enough to know.
There are some very good books about adoption - that you can get and read to him. That way he gets the understanding of what adoption means before you tell him.
I always like the phrase "you were born of my heart not below it"
2007-05-15 08:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by keezy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When he was 2
2007-05-15 15:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by J Doe 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would have already told him. The sooner you do it, the more likely it will not come out in some awkward and potentially harmful way. If you are lucky, he will make it easy for you and ask where he came from. If he ever asks anything even remotely close to that, it's your big chance! Otherwise, begin with a basic, 6-year old friendly version of the birds and bees and what it means to be a biological parent and a REAL parent (i.e. the parents that actually care for you) and go from there. Good luck!
P.S. Wow. I just saw some of the answers here suggesting waiting till he is in his teens or never telling him. That is really frightening. Not a professional psychologist in the country would suggest doing that. Ultimately, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be for him to understand and accept it. Wait till he is in his teens, and you'll invite frustration and resentment. Try NEVER telling him, and he'll find out on his own and be angry because you lied. Considering that he may want to contact his biological parents (if possible) for medical reasons, never telling him is morally reprehensible. The sooner you do it, the better. I guarantee it.
2007-05-15 15:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted as an infant, and never real had any issues about it, so I'll tell you how my parents did it. I knew I was adopted for as long as I can remember. I vaguely remember some book called "the house that wanted children" or something like that. It was never a secret, and I never felt bad about it.
When TV Sitcoms would make a joke where an older sib would tease a younger brother or sister by lying to them and telling them they were adopted, I would always think "Why would he be upset if he found out he was adopted, Its no big deal".
So, maybe find a book that explains why families adopt, and read it to your child, and then explain his situation to him.
2007-05-16 00:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by knuckleheadmcspazmatron 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no best time to tell your son he was adopted.
So sit him down, or take him out for the day to a quiet place, where he can't run to his room to hide, or run off to a friends to get away.
Then explain what made you want to bring him home, how you fell in love with his face, and why you went looking for a child to adopt in the first place. If you can explain those things to him. And make him understand your own fear of telling him, before you tell him.
But most of all, let him know how much you love him. Then it should all work out.
Blessed Be.
2007-05-15 16:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by tincre 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should always be honest with your children. My youngest brother was adopted and my parents never kept anything for him. There are a lot of good books out there for kids about adoption. But don't wait until he's older. He might resent you for that. Just be as loving as possible he'll understand. He's probably better off anyway.
2007-05-15 16:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer in telling adopted children as young as 2 and never hiding it from them. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of, and the longer you keep it from him, the more harm it is going to do. Imagine his shock if you wait until he is 16 or 17...he's going to wonder why you never told him earlier...he's not going to trust you... He's better off finding out now, imo.
2007-05-15 16:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ixtana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From the day he first came to you and you celebrated the wonderful way your family was created.
Since it's too late for that, start now. Next time you get a quiet moment together, say something like, "I don't think I ever told you the story of how I first met you, would you like to hear it?" Then, start in with the story of his beautiful beginnings.
2007-05-15 16:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to tell him? How long have you had your son? Did you know his biological mother, do you have contact with her, does she want to see her son? If you can't answer yes, then why would you want to tell him, what can you or he gain by knowing he's adopted? Love him as your own and let that be enough.
2007-05-15 16:11:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lady 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When you think he is mature enough to understand. Some 6 yr olds are more mature than others. I would say 8-10 yrs of age...
2007-05-15 15:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by *Fickle Pickle* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋