Why does my boyfriend put his social life BEFORE our relationship?

Question

My boyfriend has this big colorful social life and more than usual he puts all of that before our relationship.....then the thing is he acts like im stupid and i have no reason to be getting mad when i finally get the courage up to confront him about it......he starts this big fight like I AM the one doing something wrong!!!! its crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Poor baby, I put my wife through the same thing, he doesn't even realize it when he's doing it. Try and approach him about it, when your not in a social setting. It took me a few year of growing up before I could make right choice all the time =pp

Answer 2

It all depends on how serious your relationship is and on what level of his priority list is higher between your relationshiop and his social life.

Don't get me wrong, simply because you have a relationship does NOT mean that the social scene for either one of you must stop. However, if it gets to the point that you feel that you feel second on the list and his social life and friends are first, be an adult and try to talk things out, if this doesn't work out, then walk away from something that doesn't make you happy. Take Care.

Answer 3

It seems like he's really trying to hold onto his independence. Offer a compromise, maybe have a night or two specifically set aside to you two. Does he ever ask you to come along? If he's not at all, you might have bigger problems brewing. Also, make plans of your own with other friends and people. It drives guys like that nuts when the girlfriend who's always at home waiting for them is also out having a good time. Either the relationship will grow because you both become comfortable in your time together and apart, or you'll drift apart and find someone better.

Answer 4

Ding, ding, ding!!! You answered your own question: "It's crazy!!!!!!!!!!" You know inside what is right and what is wrong. He's using you for when he feels like it, not because he wants to grow with someone in a relationship. If your best friend, or better yet, daughter came to you and told you about a boyfriend like that, what would you say?

Here's what I say: You deserve the best. And if a man isn't treating you like you're the best, it's because someplace inside you, you're not taking care of yourself. Decide what you want and say "No!" to what you don't want.

I know it's scary to let go and jump into the unknown. I know that people are afraid to let go of relationships that aren't working because they're afraid that they might end up alone. There is someone wonderful for everyone. Let go of this guy (and read the book He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys -- you can read an excerpt on Amazon.com). Then, take care of yourself, build your own sense of self worth, get very clear about what you want in a relationship and the direction you want a relationship to move in, too.

You know what's right and wrong. Now just tap into the strength inside of you. Find the place inside that knows you deserve to be loved for being such a giving woman. Set firm boundaries when someone isn't playing nice; you don't have to open the door to someone who won't treat you with respect. (can you say "buh-bye"? YES, you can!)

Remember: What you seek is seeking you. You will find someone who want's what you want. Treat yourself like a treasure and others will too.

Many blessings!

Answer 5

Girl you really need to find hobbies or create a social life of your own. He'll get the message when you blow off dates with him or you don't pick up the phone when he calls you. I've learned that a guy will want you when you don't have time for him. But if you feel that you need him to be around all time that's when he'll take advantage of you and the relationship. Let him know how you really feel by not showing him any contact. No phone calls, no text messaging, no physical contact. He'll learn.

Answer 6

Cause guys "gotta show the man, they are "The man", before they even think about their obligations in life. An ego thing unfortunately. By the time they find out whats really important in life, some of it has passed them by, sorry to say. This is not true of all men, but many. I'll lay odds he's a young guy under 25.

Answer 7

It sounds like he's not a good boyfriend. He needs to be able to juggle a relationship and a social life. If he wants to go out with friends and all I think he should ask you to come too at least most of the time!

Answer 8

Since I'm not him (obviously), I can't answer for WHY he does it. But I can say this - if he doesn't care enough to address your feelings, then you need to send him packing. Even if he thinks your anger is unfounded, he should still take the time to listen to you and try to find some way to reassure you. He shouldn't get mad at you for being upset. He should be glad you felt comfortable enough to talk about it. Honey, let him have some social time without you (because this is actually healthy)_ but don't let him leave you out. Try to find time together and if he won't respond, tell him buh-bye.

Answer 9

Bottom line as hard as it is to hear, his social life is obviously more important to him at this stage in his life than his relationship with you.
May I suggest that you think about what you want and expect from a relationship, if he can't or won't give that to you, find another boy friend. You deserve someone who loves you, cares about you and will put you first.

Answer 10

This is going to sound harsh, but I'll say it anyways...

Maybe you two aren't a good match. My bf and I both value our social lives and are perfectly fine spending time apart with our friends. This is a good match because it's what we both want.

If one person wants to be very social, while the other expects closer intimacy in the relationship, it's not going to work.

I think you have to realize that he has a high value on being social, which is fine, but he needs to find someone who is okay with that. Ditch him and find someone who wants a relationship that is all about spending all your time together.