I can't believe I'm asking strangers for advice but, you all help alot. :) This is about sex, so if you don't want to read.. then don't. My husband and I since we had our son, hasn't had much sex lately. My sex drive before I got pregnant was out of the roof and now.. it's not. And I just figured out why it's like that. We don't argue all the time about it.. but we have arguements at least 3 times a week because of the matter. Now, We've been talking about it all day and I just thought of the reason why.. I feel guilty when our son is home with us and we want to be intimate. I feel like when he's there, it's his time. Not ours. Is that wrong of me to think that way? I feel like I'm a bad mother to have that thought even. Why is that? Do all new mothers go through this? I would ask my friends but, none of them have babies. Please, I need some help/advice.
2007-05-15 07:04:59 · 9 answers · asked by tristan's mommie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sorry, I can't spell intimaticy! lol
2007-05-15 07:11:31 · update #1
We all go through it. You feel like you have a obligation to take care of your baby and you want nothing to distract you from doing it the best that you can. But, It is important to remember that your relationship with your man still needs attention too. Even if you need to schedule it!
My husband and I scheduled time together during naps, when my daughter is awake mt husband will "meet me at the washing machine" (its in the garage). And don't put pressure on "finishing", its more important to get back into the habit. Once you have a comfortable routine you will know about how long you have. It gets better then.....
Question: What birth control are you using, if any? I recently had my Merina IUD removed and my sex-drive is back, with a vengeance.
Good Luck!
2007-05-15 07:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by buggerhead 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think every new mother goes through it It is almost like having your mother over.
But you have to remember Your husband is also part of your life and is probably feeling a little jealous of all the attention that you are giving baby.
Your maternal instinct will kick in if your son wakes up, Try making a special time during the evenings or at night when your son is asleep a special time for you to make your husband feel special as well. You don't have to feel guilty when your son is home and well cared for.
You need time for yourself and not just around your son and husband.
Sex between you and your husband might never be as wild again because someone else is in the house. Don't feel guilty over time away from your son to spend with your husband, remember your children move away but your husband is with you forever.
2007-05-15 14:25:28 · answer #2 · answered by eve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely normal for this reaction especially for a first time mother. Remember though that your son is so very little and that the time that it would take from him is minimal. Also moms sometimes tend to sub-conciously replace their spouse with the child for all intimate purposes as I did with my first born-my husband and I had sex the first year once!
Not to mention you are still physically and emotionally going through some changes and surely slightly tired. It will pass and things will go back to as normal as possible at least your husband still finds you attractive!
2007-05-15 14:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by 2bornot2b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes these are normal feelings. Remember, your husband needs you, too and the baby is too young to even know what is going on with you. First time mothers often became fixated on the baby, but you both have many years to enjoy the baby, your husband needs some attention now. Make time when the baby is sleeping to be intimate with your mate. If you are still not feeling "sexual" this might be hormonal, so ask your gynecologist if you should be concerned about this. Don't neglect your man!
2007-05-15 14:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. E 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand. I feel that when my 16 week old is awake I need to spend constant time with him. Look on the bright side, at least your husband wants to have sex with you. My husband and I have only been intimate 8 times since August! He thought it was creepy when I was pregnant and now I guess all the stretch marks just turn him off. Oh well......
2007-05-15 14:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by Erica J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not unusual at all. I got over that when we finally had sex while she was in the same room asleep. When we were done, we looked in on her in her bassinet, she was awake and gave us that sweet smile that she always gives us when she wakes up. It just brought us closer as a family. Sex is a natural thing, its the beginning of creation.
2007-05-15 14:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when you have children it does change your life a bit. You are not wrong to think of it as his time cause you did have him. If you husband thinks of it as selfish he needs to get his head out of his ***. I would just wait til your child is in bed before you guys start doing anything.
2007-05-15 14:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by WynterSky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi ,Don't feel bad ,that may not nessarily be the only answer as to why its not happening ,same thing for my wife and I ,our son is now about to be 9 years old ,and from what we have seen ,your sex drive gets worse from here after children ,at least for most ,sorry ,Jim W.
2007-05-15 14:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jim W 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
its normal for you to feel this way. there is one thing that you have to get back and that's your grove and the way i do it is to think on how you two got here to this day. and how fun it was , plus you can still get it on with him even when your son is home. but not in front of him just when he is in bed you must still keep yourself happy plus your husband
2007-05-15 16:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by L A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋