still haven't had sex!?

Question

I'm 18 yrs old, smart, pretty and charming. I know that guys feel attracted to me, but i've never, ever had a boyfriend. I feel so weird because, for example one of my best friends is real pretty and has never had a bf either. I've kissed 2 guys , my friend only one. I wonder if it's sth to do with my attitude, am i just 2 insecure? It's especially weird for me when i go out dancing with a heavily anorexic friend of mine (she is really too skinny, her teeth are yellowish and you can see she isn't healthy) and even though i have a great time, meet lots of people, etc. she goes home with a one-night-stand, and i go home alone. OK, well i wouldn't want to have my 1st time with a stranger... it wld have 2 b with a boyfriend, at least the first time.
but i really wonder what is wrong with me. Or is it just that swiss guys are too shy and uptight? because in other countries i get much stronger reactions from men.
the weird thing is, that i get a lot of compliments, both from men and women.

Answer 1

Interesting. But getting and keeping a boyfriend isn't about looks; it's about personality. have you tried? Have you flirted with guys? Asked them for their numbers? It's okay to do (I would think even in Switzerland!) And perhaps your anorexic friend goes home with guys because she gets out there, dances, and either through word or action says "take me home and screw me."

So just be yourself, but open, friendly, ready for the guys. And if all else fails, take a week trip to some place like Poland.... or the U.S. (I remember from my trip to Lucerne and Montreaux that the most beautiful women in the world were Swiss.)

Answer 2

You are doing the right thing. make sure you know the guy. just sleeping with anyone will give you std's. as for the guy thing I think being shy hurts. I went through school with out a bf. but in my one class there was this kid I talked to all the time. On the very last day of school I told him I likes him and we passed didgets. here I am 3 years later and we have been married for 2. Also something else to remember,, Boys arnt everything. Try making some guy friends first then see where that goes

Answer 3

Well, it surely depends on your radiation and your attitude.

Perhaps you don't feel relaxed the places you go out with your friend? Most persons I know rather get to know somebody closer at a "more" social place without dancing and loud music - perhaps in a sports club, in an elegant bar, simply being outside enjoying nice weather or at work or at school or ...

I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you. And it's absolutely OK to have a boyfriend a bit later, who cares? Or is it actually having sex you don't want to wait for?

I hope you find some answers for yourself...

BTW: I'm Swiss living in Switzerland, near Zurich, but I'm 33 and not looking for a relationship.

Answer 4

well said funk... however over sea's sex isn't an uptight subject as it is here. I say don't worrier about it. It seems that the guys are just to shy to talk to you. Which would mean your really hot and they think you have a guy. Flirt a little with the guy(s) you like and pick one as a boyfriend. I wouldn't rush anything though the right time will happen when it happens.

Answer 5

hmm.. the thing w/ men and women is, *in my opinion*, we think of sex in different ways.

women are a lot more emotional and mentally connected when they get intimate physically.. whereas men are more towards the immediate physical stimulation and pleasure, not so much w/ the emotional. sooo..

first u gotta figure out what sex means to you. is it just some notch on your belt? something to make you feel attractive? or is it something u want to share with "that special boyfriend"??

next, u gotta be strong and confident in ur decision. if it is something u want to share with a special person, don't let it bother you when a guy doesn't want to have a one night stand with you!! lol..think of how that sounds. they think ur anorexic friend is easy =T...no offense to her. and she LET's them know it. and she LET's them go home w/ her. clearly a guy will go home w/ the girl who will let them. it's not that hard to understand. if u actually have standards, they won't necessarily bother. and yes it is flattering if a guy keeps trying to get you to go home with him..but u have to think farther than that: does he want u to be his Girl?? or does he want to get laid tonight?? if it is the latter, i'd rather be single and unflirted with. or at least, i'd say no so either way he'd be trying in vain.

the thing is with girls, you gotta know how to keep ur standards up and be strong. that way, you say no to anyone who doesn't meet those standards..and the one who keeps sticking around, trying hard, showing and proving that he wants more than just sex, then u can start a Relationship. but if u give it up to j ust any guy who calls, u'll never get to know whether or not he has good intentions or not. =T good luck, hope that makes sense. i'm not talking about being a prude, i'm just saying to have standards and find a guy who actually respects you for that, not cuz he just wants a piece of a$$.

Answer 6

Don't rush into a boyfriend just yet you are still young. Try taking on a new experience like cooking classes or dance classes. You may need to find someone with similar interests to find the one for you. Men do like someone who is sure of themselves. If you do things you enjoy and feel confident in you'll find more people will be drawn to you. You don't want to get sucked into a world of one night stands it gets so complicated later on. Your friend needs help. She goes home with these losers to build herself esteem but in the end it is only adding to her pain. Be a good friend and try talking to her about her life.
Good Luck to you both. You'll be in my prayers.

Answer 7

I would like to say that there's nothing weird or strange with you but it's simply that the right time has not yet come. Don't compare yourself with your friends as this will lead to nothing only inferiority and complexity. Just continue to enjoy life and maintain this self-confidence and I am sure you will meet the right guy soon. Many girls think that losing their virginity is a sign of achievement but later they regret it so don't be in hurry and you have your whole life infront of you. Just chill

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just being selective, and that is a good thing, not a bad thing. When that times comes when you meet the right guy, at the right time, things will just happen. And it will be wonderful. In the meantime, don't just settle for a quickie for your first time. You'll regret it forever.

Answer 9

I think that you know that you want the first time to be witha boyfriend so you set your limits high. and thats good but not all that great if you are looking for some one to sleep with. Setting your limit high is good and some thing that people dont do all that much but its ok. but if you r wanting to just sleep with some one then lower your limits just a little bit.

Answer 10

Do you wanna be skank like your friend or do you want to be you? You'll have sex when the time is ready. Maybe you just have more class and smarts than your anorexic skank 'ho' friend.

Besides, when it comes to sexual disease, it's a jungle out there, a one night stand isn't worth multiple trips to the clinic or possibly catching a fatal disease. Be selective and picky about your mate unless you wanna be porn star.