My partner died very suddenly and traumatically leaving a big hole in my life. He did not deserve to die (nor do many others) and it has left me with PTSD - a mental illness. I am finding each day hard to cope, but gaining no comfort within my christian religion. I feel angry with God am I being fair?
Please no nasty answers I am suffering already as it is. Thanks
2007-05-15 06:29:42 · 29 answers · asked by Teejay 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes, it is very possible to feel like you are losing your faith in God.
Death is one of the hardest things to accept. None of us want to lose people we love, and I am so so sorry for the loss of your partner.
You have the right to grieve and to not understand, that does not mean you are a bad person. . .it means you are human and you are hurting.
There will be stages that you go through with your healing including confusion, anger and sadness. . .if you go through each stage it will lead to an acceptance of how things are.
Take your time to grieve your loss. I would encourage you to seek counseling with someone you trust. . .if it be a professional, a pastor . . .someone who can help you learn how to cope.
With all healing it takes time and baby steps.
I can tell you that you are not alone, you may not understand why this happened, but you are not alone. There is nothing I can say or do that will ease the hurt in your heart. . .but Jesus can. . .he feels our tears and he can bring you peace that no one or nothing else can. . . lean on him. . .let it go and just get it all out. . .and learn to lean when you just can't stand anymore. He will renew your strength and your faith. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
2007-05-15 06:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by sparkles9 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sorry for your loss. I too have had a lot of bad breaks in my life and my faith has been tested many times. I lost my mother and my father in 4 months and a few days. Had previously lost 2 sisters in a relatively short time and a nephew the next spring after losing my parents. Then this past Oct. 5th I lost another sister. In June of 2005 my hubby had a severe stroke and I am his sole caregiver now. Not meaning to load up down with my problems but just saying I can relate--what keeps me going is realizing no one ever gave me a guarantee that life would not be hard and that if I " keep on keeping" on someday I can rest knowing I did all that I could do. My first husband also suffered brain damage(severe) from a car accident. Sometimes I get on my" pity pot" but all in all I am pretty fortunate when i look around at the homeless and the sick and the war torn countries and their inhabitants. Everything you lose in life a grieving process follows and at first you might be in shock and denial, then comes anger(at God or someone) and then finally comes acceptance.
2007-05-15 07:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by luminous 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I would say don't turn your back on God if that's what has given you comfort in the past but do try to focus on things that will comfort you until you are ready. There is nothing wrong with changing your opinion if you feel that is right but don't be angry. Although I don't really believe in God I would say that either he does exist and has a higher purpose for your partner or he doesn't which means there is nothing to be angry at. However life works it's a case of living happily. I'm sure your partner would have wanted you to lead a happy life from here on in so try your best. Good luck!
2007-05-15 06:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of people who go through this. Many ask the question "Why do bad things happen to good people?". Well, it just depends on the situation. Maybe God had a purpose for your husband to pass on, or maybe he is testing you somehow like he tested Job. I don't think it will bring much compfort, but you ought to read Job's story. It is in the Old Testament. Job was an upstanding man with a great family and a lot of wealth. He was also a follower of God. Satan wanted to show God that Job would be unfaithful if he could destroy everything that Job had. God allowed Satan to do it, because God knew that Job would be faithful to him even if everyone and everything in his life was destroyed. Job's situation might be similar to yours and it might not be, but God will always be with the people who have faith in him and he will get you through the most difficult times in your life. Try not to dwell on your sorrow, instead, try to find peace in studying the Bible, spending time with family and friends, going to church, picking up new hobbies and talents. I know that it is easy to say something, but not so easy to actually do it, and I am so sorry for your loss. I hope I have not made you feel worse, please don't loose your faith, because that is almost the only hope you can have in this world. God bless.
2007-05-15 08:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. You say you are angry with God, but clearly have a belief in him. So why not pray and ask him to help you, and foir him to show you why these things happen.
I am not a fan of vicars/priests as often they just say it is Gods' will etc but the bible really does not indicate this. The bible gives a hope for all mourning ones that they will see these ones again. It also explains why such things happen, and it is not because it is Gods' will.
My Mum lost my Dad some years ago, and felt just the same way as you. She kept praying to God and then someone came and showed her the answer to her questions. That thought has kept her going through the last 35 years.
2007-05-15 06:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all came 'alone' and we die 'alone'... this journey of life is like a bus trip any way... we meet and leave new people along the way. Some may head for the same stop as us, but some don't. That's just the way things are...
You shouldn't be angry with God... you shouldn't even let this feeling influence you any way. Fill your heart with love and develop more patience. You will be in a much clearer mind later in order to realise the truth.
Try opening your heart to other religious faiths as well... as I have mentioned over and over... Truth belongs to each and every body, regardless of what our religions are. There is no single religious organization which has their rights to monopolize over Truth.
Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-05-15 06:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry to hear of the loss of your husband,its always the good honest ones that are taken first, I my self do not have a faith, as to whether are not that makes me a bad person i don't know all i know is that i try to do my bit for the here and now. All i know if faith is your thing and it works for you don't turn your back on it, give it time,take time to grief, trust me take it from some one who knows, it will take time a lot of time,you will feel fine one day,and full of sadness the next when you feel down just ask your self what would your husband have said are done? I just wish there was more i could do I'm not a believer but i have sent a star to watch over you . i wish you well for the future. XXXXX
2007-05-15 06:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by robin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. From experience, staying close to God at this time will bring you more comfort than anything anyone can say in here. I lost my granddaughter 4 years ago & I wouldn't have made it without God. Yes, I became angry with Him at first, but I found Him waiting for me with open arms when I got pass the anger. I found the answer to why He took her years later, I can't guarantee you the same closure. Spend a few minutes praying to God & let Him heal you from the inside out. Grief & anger are all a part of emotions. You will fell God's loving arms around you if you will give Him the chance to reach out to you.
2007-05-15 06:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by foreverhoyt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, its normal to be angry with God. Remember that one of the stages of dealing with death is anger.
Remember, though, that Christianity is not a religion - its a relationship. Anger is an emotion that is felt in a relationship. But also know that God loves you and is saddened by your loss, too. He wants to comfort you.
I would suggest that you speak with God and lay down your burdens to Him. Tell Him how you honestly feels - its okay to be honest, after all, God already knows what is in your heart. And ask Him to help you be healed. Remember that Job, too, was honest with God when he suffered so much loss.
Find your strength in God. Look to the scripture, reading daily and looking for His promises. Remember that He will always be with you and that He always loves you and care for you. He should not be the object of blame - He is your guide through the storm (Mark 4:35-41).
God bless!
2007-05-15 06:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by TWWK 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some great answers here, not mich I can add except my deepest sympathy and one small thought. You are not the only one whose faith is tested. St Augustine made one of the most unusual prayers I have ever heard. He was a great follower of Christ and yet prayed Lord I believe, help my unbelief. You will learn to live again despite how you feel at the moment. No one should tell you that it will stop hurting, sometimes it never does but you will get the strength to cope. God bless.
2007-05-15 09:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋