My mom has a boyfriend who is taking her money, she wires him money and all he wants is money. She claims she is happy with him eventhough she might get ripped off. HE has her debit card and has made over $1,000 in purchases( in just one week) but my mom is ok with it. SHe thinks i dont love her and i dont want her to be happy, because i asked her why she was sending him money, she got really upset. Long story, i apologized for questioning her finances and butting in her bank account (i saw it on line). I was only looking out for her. Now she tells me her boyfriend feels offended and wants an apology from me. How can i tell her hell fu** no I am not apologizing to his sorry asss. I hate him for takind advantage and my mom for letting him. I would never apologize even if he gave the money back or supported her. He needs to prove my mom he will take care of her, not just her money. ANy suggestions? My mom is blind i know. I dont live with her im 23
2007-05-15 05:03:29 · 9 answers · asked by sourgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree with what you are doing but unfortunantely your mom will need to make her decisions on her own. I know that you want to look out for her but she doesn't want you to. Just let her do it her way and be there to help her up if and when she falls down. Show her you love her and just be there for her.
As for apologizing to him, I wouldn't do it. Tell him you are sorry that he is offended by you watching out for your mom and just leave it at that. Don't apologize for saying anything, just for trying to watch out for mom.
Good luck hun!
2007-05-15 05:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there are way too many women out there who have low self esteem and will do anything to keep a man, not realizing that a man who takes all you have isn't worth having.
Most times when you try to show these women what is really going on they only think of how much they "love" the man they're supporting and usually he has at least one other woman that he's seeing and/or getting money from.
That said, she's an adult and she is apparently not going to listen to you so the best you can do is be there if she needs you for moral support (but not to reinforce her relationship). It sounds like she's going to have to learn the hard way and that may mean losing everything she has before she does.
Also, you're an adult and you're entitled to your own opinion so you don't owe anyone any apologies and you shouldn't be sorry for seeing things as they really are. He's a grown man and if he can't take care of himself, he shouldn't be dating anyone until he gets his act together. You might mention that they have these wonderful things called "jobs" where you do stuff and they actually give you money for it. Imagine that!
2007-05-15 12:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Chanteuse_ar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell the guy just what you wrote above, "I hate him for taking advantage and my mom for letting him. I would never apologize even if he gave the money back or supported her. He needs to prove my mom he will take care of her, not just her money". He might not like that answer, but at least you have it off your chest and he knows where you stand. He does sound like a dirt bag.
2007-05-15 12:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mike T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first....your Mom is an adult and she is capable of running her own affairs. I know you care about her and would prefer if she were seeing a better person . Unfortunately this is not the case and because she is is so much in love with this man she is not seeing him for what he really is. It is going to be hard but I think you will have to leave her to learn the hard way and try to stay out of her business. I don't think you owe him any apology though. Just let your mother know you love her and care about her . Good luck to you.
2007-05-15 15:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by trinigirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea call that dude directly and tell him.He dont deserve an apology.If he really loved your mom.He would understand that you love her and are just looking out for her.
Stop going through your mom.I knowyou probably dont want to go behind your moms back.Sometimes though that is what you have to do.
I would confront him.That will tell you about his character.If he gets mad and offeensive then he probably dont care and that is proof for you.He might just say something that will blow you out of the water,and be understanding.Fat chance from the way you described him.It is worth a shot.
Your mom might be mad for awhile but she will get over it.I would tell him it is unacceptable and you are on to him.see how he reacts.
Bottom line dont mess with my momma
2007-05-15 12:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by kenneth h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not what u wanna hear, but u gotta let your mum live her own life.
Like u said...love is blind. She will discover on her own what kind of guy the bf is, but SHE has to do it not u. Sadly she may become poorer in the process.
Since u don't live there, there is nothin u can do anyhow.
I know how u feel but it's her life u know. But I sure wouldn't apologise for nothin unless u really feel sorry...which u shouldn't BTW....So DONT apologise.
2007-05-15 12:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Travis M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a friend like this and no matter how much you talk, beg and etc. it won't change. I know its not what you want to here but its the truth. Go on with your life and hope and pray that someday your mom will realize that is not the life for her!
2007-05-15 12:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by Kerri L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe let that guy know that you're keeping an eye on him. if what you say is true, not that i doubt it, you need to watch him. you could apologize. say somthing like "i'm sorry you're taking advantage of my mom. or i'm sorry i can't make my mom see what a loser you are" it's an apology, right?
2007-05-15 12:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom has an a** hole like that to but im in high school and they recently got married , so i have to live with them and i absolutely hate him and he knows it, and he hates me just as much!!
2007-05-15 12:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by <#3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋