Hello! I'm 29 years old and a practicing Catholic. My immediate family and extended family are all hard core Catholics. My boyfriend and soon to be fiance is Presbyterian. He is strong in his beliefs and faith. As a compromise I agreed to marry him in his Presbyterian church. I am wondering what kind of process we have to go through with the Catholic Church to make it 'valid' in their eyes. If you are part of a Catholic-Presbyterian(or protestant couple) I would really love to hear what you had to go through.
Thank you in advance for your time and answers. Serious answers only please.
2007-05-15 04:33:14 · 10 answers · asked by Case 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My boyfriend is 28 years old and we have been together for a year and a half. I know that we are going to be getting engaged by this fall.
2007-05-15 04:36:19 · update #1
Let's see....to answer some questions. Yes, ideally I would love to get married in a Catholic church, but he doesn't want to. We do not plan on having any children - as I have 2 brothers with autism and 2 cousins with it, we don't want to take that chance that we will bring any autistic children into the world and also we just don't want any children of our own. We are looking to have a very small wedding (just parents, grandparents and siblings) and his hometown presbyterian church is very small and it would work out better for us. Also, we want to have the catholic priest at the wedding and have him co-officiate with the presbyterian pastor. His home chuch is 2 hours away from my hometown, so we had planned on having a wedding reception in my hometown a couple of weeks after the wedding.
2007-05-16 03:24:24 · update #2
I would suggest you call your priest and sit down with him as he knows the laws of the Church. Besides he has dealt with this many times when couples marry out of their religion.
There may be a way for a compromise here and your BF NEEDS to compromise as it is NOT suppose to be all his way. This is the first start in a successful marriage and that is COMPROMISE!
Many couples get married in a little chapel and have both the priest and minister there to marry them. Many places that hold wedding receptions can create or already have something like this.
There is a great book the two of you should read before getting married.
The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do
Author: Susan Piver
It's in paperback and around $9.00 USD
2007-05-20 01:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is exactly like my first marriage, only he was the Catholic and I was the Presbyterian! You have to go to counseling with the C priest and the P minister. Then you go to pre-Cana classes. Then if the priest thinks everything's OK to go ahead, he sends something to the Diocese, they OK it, then the Diocese sends some paper to the P minister saying the marriage will be valid and it's OK to marry you two. Then he can perform the marriage in the eyes of the Church with blessings and then the C Church is out of it as far as the wedding goes. You can still attend either one because of the blessing.
Fun fun! It's a pain in the neck getting the paperwork, but it can be done if you jump through all the C hoops. And he does NOT have to convert no matter how much pressure the C's put on him.
Sorry if I sound bitter, I ended up divorcing him after 7 years. Hope it works out for you guys!
2007-05-15 05:40:04 · answer #2 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before agreeing, you should have talked with your Priest first. There are very few (If any) instances that I know where that could be a valid Marriage in the Eyes of the Church, marriage is one of the Sacraments. (Edit: this may have changed over the last 22 years)
Normally, in situations like this, the service is in the Church of the Bride. But that is not written in stone.
I was a Protestant that Married a Catholic Girl 22 years ago, we were both were strong in our beliefs, and had a lot of long discussions about our differences in faith before we even got engaged, I did a lot of research about the Catholic faith and she did a lot about mine.
Best decision I ever made, but it does cause problems, not the least of which is the place for the wedding. Make sure you discuss giving to the church(s), how Children will be raised, views on Birth Control, etc........
You should go talk with your Priest, ASAP, and then you should both talk with him as well as his Preacher.
I also suggest you get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and refer to it if you do not have one already.
You can also ask here: www.Catholic.com
Good Luck and God Bless!
2007-05-15 04:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon your diocese. Best that you go talk to your parish priest. Your case is unusual, because usually the groom goes with the bride's religion, since the mom usually has more of an influence on the future children.
There are times you can have a concelebrated wedding, but just have a chat with your priest as to your options. If he got married with you in the Catholic church, he doesn't have to convert, just agree to raise the children Catholic.
2007-05-15 12:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless you are both catholic you will not be seen married in a church not sure of presbyterian rules. you can have catholic blessing given by your church is it possable to go the day before or have two weddings in one day an do it in both churches?? My cousin was a catholic an her husband was jewish an they did both one was on a saturday one on sunday with the big reception on sunday night an kinda like a rehersal dinner for the one on saturday with a few people like 30 or so with a bbq. look into diffrent options
2007-05-15 05:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may want to see if you can change the location to a non-religious place. Maybe a hall, outdoors, or something like that. It's a fair compromise for both of you, since it's not religious. Find out from your church if they have any suggestions for you. The two of you need to sit down and figure out the best way for both of your religions to be incorporated into the ceremony. This may include your future fiancee to take a trip to your church to meet with people and same goes for you going to his church.
Out of curiosity what did he give up for you to marry him in his church? You said you compromised by having it in his church which means his religion is what's going to marry you. Did he sacrifice anything or was it more like you sacrificed to make him happy?
Bottom line is that you two need to start over with the plans and figure out what's going to make both of you happy.
2007-05-15 05:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by ladyluck 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You would still have to do the pre-cana classes and when those are complete, probably before actually you have to petition for a dispensation from cult (mixed marriage) and then you have to petition to have your ceremony somewhere other than the Catholic church. My brother and sister in law (she's Catholic, he's not) did that and it not a huge deal.
2007-05-15 04:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-02 01:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would like to say i enjoyed reading all the answers to this tough question all i can say to you is good luck and god bless
2007-05-22 03:07:13 · answer #9 · answered by I AM BACK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres only one god so ; just be truthfull when making your vowes before him
2007-05-15 04:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋