Im 3 weeks pregnant, and undecided to have the baby?

Question

in not in a relatioship, it was just one night stand and apparently he pull-out it. we are just friends and slept with him bc he was going away. anyways hes in 1-2 weeks and dont wanna have the baby. we both agreed that we dont want a baby like this.. we're not couples and we all three would suffer. Im confused, i dont wanna be a single mom, but am already 28, financially stable but dont wanna be a single mom :( please any suggestions would be appreciated.

its my understanding that in 3 weeks, the baby has not heart or organs yet.. and i dont want my baby to grow without his dad..i grew without dad and i know what is like to have a stepdad and then stepmom..its horrible.. the baby deserves a better life and i would put my baby for adoption.. i rather keep it then..

Answer 1

# 1 Get tested for STDs ... you placed yourself at risk for so many diseases by not using protection!!!
#2 If you are both decided on this ... then you need to act ASAP.
Either on consulting a clinic where you can terminate the pregnancy OR getting prenatal care and putting the child up for adoption.

There will be many people here who will harass you for your lack of judgment ... There will be many more who will harass you on your right to choose.
Just keep the following things in mind ...
They do not pay your bills and they will not be the one to bear the burden of your decision.
Good luck, good health and God bless ...

Answer 2

Honey I understand your situation. I had my first child at 15. That was a very difficult situation and was faced with the same questions. But it really came down to the love that I would be able to give that child. Raising a child is hard..one of the hardest things that you will ever do but I will say that once you carry him or her and give birth which is the most incrediable experience of your life you will have no regrets. Abortion is murder but no one can judge you as we are not in your situation. One day you will regret having it if you so choose to abort. What people do not realize is that once you have an abortion it will stay with you forever and you may never be able to forgive yourself. Adoption is always an answer and there are so many forms of adoption where you would be able to have a relationship with that child. I encourage you to seek out all your options as well as a support group of family members. I now have 4 children and 4 grandchildren that I would not be able to live without. As far as the financial aspect...It doesnt matter how much money one has or doesnt have, you will never be financially ready to have a child. I say have that child, love him or her and give it the life that you always dreamed of having. Love that child like you've never been loved. Educate that child that will make them president. Being single wont stop you from being a great mom! Good luck

Answer 3

unfortunately honey this is a decision only you can make...it sounds to me like the only thing that is holding you back is that you don't want to do this alone, that can be scary being a single Mom will be hard..however try to look at what things could positive about this...when you come right down to it though no matter what any of us say it is all about how you feel about being a Mom now, if you don't feel like you are ready single or not than it may not be a good idea, but if being a Mom is not a problem for you its just the alone part then I'm sure you will find a way to get over that (if a baby is what you want). there is alot to think about your life WILL change but it it doesn't have to be for the worst, having kids is easy raising them can be a challenge but so worth it...are you ready for that challenge? I'm sorry if this is confusing for you I just hope you Will be able to find the answer you are looking for...Good Luck to you no matter what your choose..oh there is always adoption...keep all your options open....

Answer 4

This is a very difficult place to be in. I don't think in my own opinion that anyone can answer that question for you or make that decision. I would really think things through, don't just look at the immediate look beyond. You need to think about what you want not him. He has already told you want he wants, what do you want. Is your opinion based on his decision and his feelings? There are physical consequences to terminate a pregnancy and you have to look at all the options available to you. Would you consider adoption? If so, then would you be able to handle the emotions that come with it. So much to consider. I wish you luck. I hope you come to the decision that you will be able to live with. There are many single moms out there who done a better job than some who are married or with a partner. Don't come to a decision based on being a single mom that would be unfair to yourself and your unborn child. Try talking to your doctors, visit a centre for unwed mothers and talk to a Children's Aid Worker before making a decision that will alter your life. Take care, kat -
ps..if their is no heart beat or organs than why do they call it a baby- its a life with a heart beat, the information you are getting is incorrect. do your research before you make a decision-listen people live without their parents due to many reasons, not a good enough excuse to use to terminate your pregnancy
if you already have your mind made up-then why did you post such a question? a majority of the persons that responded think totally different than what you think, yet you post a ps to defend your decision. you will do exactly what you want with no regard for the life that grows inside of you and no regard for yourself either, what a shame....

Answer 5

It would be very hard to be a single Mom...have an abortion if that is what is right for you. I do believe you will be taking a life....but I am not going to sit here and tell you what is right for you. Adoption would be another great option. A child who is unwanted suffers greatly ...so talk to your Dr about it-there are many things to consider if you choose adoption (meaning your health and if there is any substance abuse). A hard choice to make. I always try and make VERY informed decisions. Again a healthcare provider can help. There is a book out there too that discusses abortions "LOVEJOY"...anyway good luck. I do have to tell you being a mother is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced-in has changed my life and I consider it such a gift.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to tell you, but you are the only one that can make the decision. If you feel its too hard for you to raise this baby on your own, either have an abortion - as soon as possible, or give it up for adoption - however, giving it up for adoption is very hard since you will be bonding with the baby during the 9 months. It is YOUR BODY, not his or someone else.
A baby is a LIFE TIME COMMITMENT, it doesn't end when they are 18 and moving out of the house, trust me.......only you will know if you can handle either situations. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

A baby's heart starts beating by 4 weeks after conception. By 8 weeks after conception it has fingerprints. I miscarried a baby at 7 weeks and it tore me apart.

I know it was totally unexpected but God already has a plan for this baby. I know it will be hard, but if you don't want the baby, call an adoption agency. Most can set you up with a family who will pay all the expenses and even keep in touch with you after the child is born. (open adoption) There are plenty of people that want children and can't have any. I have a cousin that lives in Nashville, TN. She is a married 32 years old christian woman and can not have a baby. Her husband is a school teacher. They have tried several fertility options and are on waiting lists for adoption. They even tried to adopt a child with special needs and another couple had been on the list longer so they got her. They would be great parents. Please keep all this in mind before you make your decision. If you want to email me about further details about my cousin or your options you can. [e-mail]

Lots of people grow up without fathers and turn out great. All that matters is that they have a loving home. One loving parent is great. Lots of kids don't get that lucky.

Answer 8

Jessica, I totally understand your situation and know what a hard decision that is to make. An abortion is a very hard decision to make and shouldn't be taken lightly. You do have other options. I would suggest you talk to a family counselor as soon as you possibly can and tell them the situation. They will be able to tell you other options you have available to you. I know one they will tell you is to adopt it out. Someone will adopt a newborn before it's even born. They pay for everything, all medical for you for the whole term, plus some after. There are alot of people in this world that want and deserve a child but can't have one. I say go see and talk with someone about this soon. I wish you the best, and hope you let us know what you decide to do....

Answer 9

I know that I am going to get alot of thumbs down for this one, but I have had 2 abortions. I have 5 children, all by the same man. 1983, 1985,1987,1988(abortion)1990, 1991(abortion),1992. All by the time i was 26. The reason that I had so many pregnancies is due to the fact that my husband was Catholic, does'nt belive in birth control. I do! Whenever I wanted to use it, he would claim that I was cheating on him, that's why I had it on hand. It did not know about the rules of his religion when I married him @ 16. I was also naive and brainwashed by his family that it's a sin. I could not put a baby up for adoption. I figure if I can have this being growing inside me for 9 months, then I can take care of him/her. Even if your not ready to have a baby, you still get very attached. Your life would be filled with wonder and worry about this child, even though you don't have him/her. I had my abortions @ about 7 wks. Yes, I did feel bad at first, but I asked My God for forgiveness. I now have 5 grown children and a grand daughter who is the light of my life. And divorced their Dad when the oldest was 11. I have raised all of them myself and beleive me, it's not an easy task! My 14 yr old is at a stage where he wants me to do "manly" things with him. He's never had a father figure around (except for his brothers) and is very angry at this. (I left because he became a drug addict and was cheating on me)I have to work 10-12 hrs a day to support my 2 remaining sons at home. Belive me when I say that It gets harder as they get older. I do not regret the decisions that I made because my children are well rounded, well-mannered, and respect me. But they still have that yearning for a "Dad". But whatever you decide to do, go for your own gut feelings, not what other people want you to do. They are not the ones that are going to put food on your table, buy diapers, take care of your child when they are sick, and sacrifice their carreers for your child. You are. you'll know when it's the right time. Please take care. LOL

Answer 10

Please do not punish that beautiful baby you are carrying. I understand that you're confused and that this is all coming as a shock. But don't kill that lil miracle you created. If you weren't ready for a big responsibility, you should have not had sex at all, or it should have been more protected. Give that child a chance at life. Don't kill something so innocent. It cant help that you two were irresponsible. Carry it, then adopt it out to a couple who cant have children. A mother child bond is the strongest that God created. Please dont abort that baby! Even if you are financially stable. I think that baby wouldn't mind being poor, compared to being dead! Plz dont do that. Give it a chance at life:)

Answer 11

.Sweetie, you could always give your baby up for adoption? There are many good people out there that would love to have a child to hold and love that cannot have them. A member of my family adopted a baby boy 9 years ago and they are so happy that the mother gave them the chance to be parents. They even send pictures of their son to the mom so that she can see what he looks like throughout the years. Most will cover all of your hospital expenses to. No matter what you do it will be a hard choice for you and I would go and talk to someone before you make any decisions. Good luck sweetie.