Is this a form of mental illness and does it have a name?

Question

I have a co-worker who always has to "one-up" everyone, except that it always has to be worse instead of better. If you say you did something, then she says she did something worse.
We work in a hospital kitchen and one day I burned some toast. She said she did that before and flames shot out of the toaster. I burnt some bacon yesterday in the microwave and she said, that's okay, I burnt prunes. Last week she came in with a bandage on her arm and one of the other co-workers came in with a bandage on his arm, and hers was a scrape and his was a dog bite and she insisted hers was worse.
If we got 4 inches of rain, she got 6 inches.
If we got 12 inches of snow, she got 18 inches.
If there was a tornado here, she'd insist that it was worse where she lives.
So, is there a name for someone, for whom everything has to be WORSE??

Answer 1

It's definitely an attention-seeking behavior. She probably has an inferiority complex, and she feels the need to compensate and affirm herself through this behavior.

Answer 2

I would say she is very insecure, and in her mind, the only way to get attention is to make it seem that her experiences are much more tragic, and she thinks this will get her more sympathy. She must have had a very negative up bringing, a home where every little thing that happened was cause for great despair. It's almost as though no one's mishaps or misfortunes could possibly be as bad as hers. Research has shown that a feeling of "well-being" is possible if people develop supportive relationships with family and friends.
For her to achieve this sense of "well-being, she needs to be real, live in the here and now, and most importantly, respond to people and events in a genuine "positive" way.
She needs to be able to enjoy the gift of life she has been given, and take PLEASURE in family and community, without expecting perfection from them. Also, she needs to accept herself as she is, be relaxed in her own skin and like herself, and have a sense of being worthwhile.
She sounds like she is somewhat depressed( not severely), and maybe you could try to reach out and help her to see the glass as half full, not half empty.

Answer 3

First off, let me tell you I DATED someone like this...bore his child.....and geez, if I was sick, he was sicker, when I was broke...well you get the picture. What he needed was a mom...and LOTS of attention, like your coworker. As a mental health clinician, I cannot think of a specific mental illness to 'label' this behavior; but there is probably some underlying issues. That CONSTANT need for attention and sympathy is much like you see with group home kids; little to no attention and likely abuse or neglect as a child, some degree of oppositional defiance, and an inability to empathize with others. It would be interesting to know her relationship status, tho she probably wouldn't be honest about it, but I can guarantee she was neglected as a child, either because of dysfunctional parenting and/or feeling lost in large group of siblings. Unfortunately in my work with children, adults, and even parents with these symptoms, it's a very difficult habit to break and needs to be replaced with LOTS of validation, empathy practice, and development of self: basically she needs to figure out who she is, what she is good at and learn how to foster her own strengths, abilities, identify her needs and communicate them. Empathy training can be more difficult, but it is possible. The easiest thing to do at work is basic behavior modification, give her lots of attention for her strengths..and when she turns it to something negative..say "oh" and move on with no facial expression or voice change. She needs attention, craves it, so if shes not getting it for being 'worse' all the time, she'll seek out other ways, and could possibly get worse before she gets better. Maybe if you tell her about this "friend" who REALLY needs counseling, so bad that she is actually going to do it, despite having no money or time or whatever excuse she comes up with. Hopefully she will try to 'out do' your friend and go herself! But unfortunately, if there is history of abuse, childhood trauma, she will avoid it at all costs, simply because it will be painful....much more so than constantly seeking attention from her coworkers, and friends, and neighbors......

By the way, I did leave him, and his subsequent girlfriend would call me and complain about the same thing! Fortunately my son is 20 and nothing like him....
Good luck to you, you're in a VERY tough situation...Just be the 'duck' instead of the 'sponge' and let the water (her constant one-up-man ship) roll off your back.

Answer 4

It seems to me that she might have a Histrionic Personality. People with a Histrionic Personality feel the need to be the center of attention and will many times exaggerate to achieve this.

It seems that people with Histrionic Personality tend to exaggerate good things, but I don't see why it couldn't be the other way around.

See the source for more information.

Answer 5

It sounds like it is just an "Attention Getter". This person obviously feels that she has to obtain attention, even if it a negative form of attention. Has anyone ever called her on it? Like by saying....Is there ever a time that you haven't done this, that, had this that...etc. because none of us can talk or comment without hearing how you have been through it. Let her know it is very annoying!!! Noone has probably ever told her this!!!

Answer 6

Perhaps a little sympathy would help her. It seems to me that she has suffered a lot of misfortune and never had any concern shown her, so that she makes up for it subconsciously now by "outdoing" others injuries, accidents, etc.
Try to view it from that perspective, show her some genuine interest and maybe she'll stop seeking to gain attention like this. She must be hurt and lonely, have a little empathy.

Answer 7

She sounds like she's trying to get your attention and be accepted. It appears that she needs to prove herself to you. It is not a serious mental illnees as far as I know. As she is still in society.

But it could be caused by harsh parenting when she was younger. Talk to her about it and how it annoys you and maybe say that she doesn't need to prove herself.

But if I had to call it something it would be 'anythingyoucandoIcandobetter' disease.

Answer 8

It's some kind of "Chronic" keep-up-with-the-jones' Syndrome! I have known people like that!

They are insecure and want to always be the center of attention! They are lonely and competetive and only "into themselves!"

Answer 9

I call this tell it and top it hour. It is usually a sign of low self esteem and she does this to try to make herself sound important. She's trying hard to have some self esteem.

Answer 10

It just sounds like like oppositional personality disorder.....

Or if the person is just being a jerk we say they have an excessive repulsive disorder (joke)...

Ignore them..They may not go away, but you'll feel better...