What is the best way to build self confidence and self esteem?

Question

I've heard all of the techniques about repeating positive things about yourself,.... to yourself. I need something stronger and more lasting over time. I've also had my problems with life.I've been losing on all fronts, and when I take a stand for myself I always seem to end up standing alone without any support. Along with this I am finding it harder and harder to follow through with things, once they get difficult. It seems to be a vicious downward circle. These have been results not beliefs. I need to be able to stop the madness. I have confidence, but what I need is unshakable confidence to build towards a win. It's been 5 years since I've had one, I 'm coming closer and closer to just giving up on life. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

To me, running is the best way to build self confidence and self esteem.

http://www.howtohavehighselfesteem.com/3/build-your-self-esteem-by-running/

Answer 2

start a relationship... there must be one person in this world who can see how great you are... a sexual relationship would be great, feeling desirable and sexy is definately an ego boost, but a platonic one can be equally fulfilling. i too have struggled with my self esteem, it takes constant work, but eventually you will realise that you truly are a wonderful person and it doesnt matter what the world thinks only what you think. if you can forgive your own mistakes and pat yourself on the back once in a while, you will be fine. Dont beat up yourself cause you cant/ didnt do something... you are human, not superhuman and you cannot do it all or be it all. You know your strengths and your limitations, you know better than anyone, you cannot be your own worst enemy... you must be your own cheerleading team! when you think negatively erase that thought as quickly as it comes.
Exercise also helps, you feel stronger and have better posture and carry yourself better because of it, this projects an image of confidence and people will believe it and eventually so will you. Lastly, take a calcium magnesium supplement! It may sound like weird advice but u be will surprised how this combined with b vitamins can balance your hormones, make you less sensitive to emotional stimuli.
Dont give up on life, save your money and visit the most beautiful place your budget will allow (I suggest Barbados :) ). You will see there is so much to live for... life is a struggle sometimes, but it is also a gift and you deserve it! Overcoming difficult times makes you stronger. Also find a song that makes you feel good about yourself, like " I'm beautiful dammit!" "Love me or hate me," lady soverign, "bossy" by kellis, something with attitude the says i'm the shizit and i know it, listen to it daily... you will believe it! do not listen to anything sad or depressing, only upbeat stuff!

Answer 3

Everyone is made to have their own type of beauty, yours just might be different from the girls you are comparing yourself to. Try picking up a non-competitive sport or activity, such as yoga, horse-back riding, cooking, etc. These will help you to have fun and build skills while not comparing yourself to others. It's ok to think someone else is pretty, but don't compare yourself just make the statement. Try taking speech at school or getting involved in community theater, both will teach you speaking skills that will automatically make you feel more confident. I hope that I helped. When finding new things to do stay away from the competitve ones that encourage your habits of comparing yourself. This will only fuel the fire. Be confident and make a list of things you like about yourself. When you feel insecure remember this list or take a look at it to remember who you really are. Beauty is not all about looks, its about who you are. Psa. 8:3-5 -- You have great value to God. The next time you question your worth as a person, remember that God considers you highly valuable. We have great worth because we bear the stamp of the Creator. Because God has already declared how valuable we are to Him, we can be set free from feelings of worthlessness. Those are some Bible notes I found to help you. The best thing you can do is remember what that says, that everyone is equal in God's eyes and made in His image. Don't doubt God's creation!

Answer 4

Giving up on life? Problems? Hell! Get aggressive! On the bad guys thou! Best thing for you and for the other! Also try and keep in mind the fact that if you're alive it's because you've been given an opportunity to demonstrate your willpower and skills. Don't think that other people do better! Actually most of the successful people do less than the hard working, but poor people. It's all about luck! But if luck cheats you then work even harder! Your body and spirit can stand anything! Just go for it! NEVER FORGET THE LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!

Answer 5

You should take a look around and make sure that you are spending time with positive people who will support, encourage and mentor you. In fact, finding a person who can be there as a sounding board who is positive and a good listener is very helpful.

Personally, I find that if I think about my decision-making with an eye toward what I want a year or five years from now that is clarifies my motivation.

Answer 6

What's worked for me is trying stuff I've always been afraid of trying. Do stuff for fun rather than competition or to win. Try new things. Something as simple as reading a book you've never read. Or going bowling or shooting hoops with the guys even if you suck at it.

It also helps to surround yourself with positive people. People who're just fun to be around, non judgmental individuals.

Avoid gossiping, or speaking negative about others. In the past I've seen several people who use a "false confidence". Basically attempting to speak derogatory about, or making fun of others to make themselves feel better or to make themselves appear confident around others.

Answer 7

Low self-esteem is depressing... I think the best thing to do is to keep yourself busy with projects or activities that can trigger positivity like helping the needy, helping the people around you and so on. Bringing happiness to others can also bring happiness to yourself as well as confidence. Hope this helps!

Answer 8

From what you are writing it seems that if you really want to start feeling better you would greatly benefit from getting professional help. Avoid counselors or advisers, go to a certified psychologist or psychoanalyst. If you think it is too expensive think of it this way: after seeking help you'll have less money in your pocket but because you will end up feeling better you will stop spending on stuff that you used to spend to feel better. Plus, your life will be more enjoyable.

Answer 9

Practise daily one of the 5 meditation techniques at http://www.ezy-build.net/~shaneris on page 2, and note the part about volunteering and the tips at the mental-health-abc & conquering stress sites. Go to http://www.more-selfesteem.com and check it out, including self confidence. These should help, but therapy is a last alternative (see page 1 of ezy-build).

Answer 10

Try self help books and self confidence courses. Tony Robins, Dale Carnegie, Brian Tracy, Zig Zigler. They usual come in audio too if you don't like reading.

Answer 11

Find something you are great at, either a sport or a hobby. When you are good at something people will notice and you will get compimented and that should raise your spirits and confidence. Remember that to be good at something you need to work hard, so believe yourself while you go through that step!