Four years ago I dated a guy, Sean. Well, Sean and I had still been sleeping together after that, up until about two years ago. I'm in a new relationship with Luke which is about a year long, and it's really going great, wedding plans are underway and everything! Except for one thing: Luke is not cool with Sean being around. "It's not that I'm jealous," Luke says. "I trust you, I know you'd never do anything unfaithful. The point is, it's simply disrespectful to me to force me to have him in our life. Especially considering the things you two did. I don't want to look into the face of the man who has carnal knowledge of my wife." I've respected his wishes and have cut ties with all my other exes, but Sean has been a close and reliable friend for the last four years, and I don't want to kick him to the curb. I guess I really just want help understanding Luke's feelings.
2007-05-14 21:20:41 · 6 answers · asked by Lee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So, if I've got to cut ties with Sean, even though I know it's going to hurt him pretty badly, how would I go about doing that? How do I get my best friend to understand that despite all he's been to me, for me... that he needs to never speak to me again?
2007-05-15 04:49:53 · update #1
I think Luke wants to KNOW you've chosen him above all others. As long as Sean is around, he'll have that nagging little doubt. Deep inside he'll worry that you mght still want Sean.
I think, if you are wise, you'll cut ties with Sean and cling to the man you've chosen as your life's partner. It will save a lot of grief in the long run.
2007-05-14 21:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by nightevisions 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to make a choice on who is more important to you. I'm not saying Luke is right by forcing you to choose but that is how it goes some times. We(men)are very territorial and like it or not sean is a threat to the sanctity of your pending marriage, especially if you still have feelings for him. So the choice is yours Sean or Luke think hard because this decision could very well determine whether or not you'll be Lukes bride or Seans friend with benefits
2007-05-14 21:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by **drew** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luke is 100% right. You MUST cut Sean out of your life. It's a matter of respect. You can't have EVERYTHING, there are times you MUST make a choice, which means to forgo something in the name of something more important. If Sean had good values he'd back up spontaneously. It's a pity he doesn't obviously have the same values you husband-to-be has.
2007-05-14 21:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes your soon to be husband that uncomfortable, then you SHOULD cut ties...he has pretty much laid his feelings out in a very understandable manner...he'd prefer mutual friends you both are comfortable with going forward into your future together...that makes sense.
By holding onto this ex, it's as if you are keeping a safety net around...and that isn't fair to "Luke".
2007-05-14 21:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe luke is just insecure because of what you and sean did during the past. maybe you should try and talk with him and explain that you two are just friends now and that your love is for him (luke) and not sean.
2007-05-14 21:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by bratty rae-chi^^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is hilarious. i think of i will apply your question as an occasion of Sarah Palin's Cult. this actual sentence fairly cracked me up, "Sarah is vibrant, appealing, energetic, charismatic, valuable, a born chief, self-created from humble beginnings- basically all issues maximum liberals at the instant are not."
2016-11-03 23:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by pour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋