New baby affecting school and work?

Question

I have a 2 mos old baby, i was offered a job making good money but was unable to take it because I couldn't find anyone to watch her( that was trust worthy) while I went to work, so they gave the job to someone else, I was accepted back to school for august, but it is 3 hours from where I live now, I dont think i can do it because again I dont have a sitter down there, and no way to get all of our belongings there, I just dont know how I am going to care for a newborn and go to school all by myself, I am so depressed because I feel I am going to have to turn this down as well, I recieve government assistance right now because I cant work, I cant support us, it sucks because I have always been independent, and hard working, I feel like im going to be on assistance for forever and turn into the single mom on welfare, I dont wanna be like this
any advice, I dont know what to do, her father just up and left us, dont know where he is

the schools daycare starts at 2 years old

Answer 1

Advice....look into government funded child care. By the time you go..your baby will be older and less fragile.

If that isn't an option...
remember that an education is never a waste and you will never regret doing right by your baby. If you look at this time as an opportunity for you to learn a different kind of lesson...it won't be such a dissappointment. Life has many lessons to teach and only part of them are taught at school. Your baby won't be a baby forever and you can go back later. The government is kind to single mothers and when your child is in school you can go then. And don't feel bad about getting assistance...you and others like you are what it is there for. In the mean time enjoy your baby and know this too shall pass.

Answer 2

This is definitely hard, but don't lose hope. First step is finding someone to watch your baby while you work. Visit some local churches and get to know people there, I grew up going to church and there was always someone around to help watch kids. Whether you're 'into' church or not, it's a good place to start.

Once you have a job with a good income, you can afford to look into daycares (most of which offer some kind of payment assistance). Some schools, especially community colleges, offer childcare, which can be added into your schools loans so it doesn't have to be paid for up front. It might not be the school you want, but it's a place to start.

It's hard to know who to trust when you have a new baby, and it sucks to think that they'll be in someone else's care all day. I know that even daycares look shady, there'll always be a feeling that it isn't good enough for your child. But kids are flexible, and she's at an age where you have a little bit of freedom before she starts walking, talking, making messes, etc. Don't lose hope, being a mom is really cool once you find your rhythm.

(And as a side note: a private investigator or skip tracer will be able to find the dad if you have info like his last address or birthdate, should only cost around $100 once you have some money.)

Answer 3

Maybe you should just wait until your baby is a little older to go back to school. I mean for now, you can use your assistance while you try to find a job that is enough to support you to get off of your assistance, and then when you're there and get settled in to life with a job and a new baby, try to go back to school even just part time. Also there is always the option of daycare, or if you have good friend to watch your baby!! Look in to government funded child care also!

Answer 4

if you are on assistance, speak to your assistance specialist about finding daycare...many offices will have a list of licensed day-cares and applications for daycare assistance. I know in the state I live if you attend school and work totaling 20 hrs a week you can get help with that cost until you finish your education. I was a single mom for 3 yrs with no help from the father and know how hard it is....I rewarded myself the day I was able to go off all assistance and Getting my education helped. I wish you the best of luck and know you will raise your child well.

Answer 5

This may come off as rude, and its really not intended to be, but suck it up and get through school. You're hardly the first woman in the world to be in this position. There are many universities that are extremely family friendly. At my university, there was on campus family housing, with a daycare about 20 feet away. And if you received a Pell Grant you were guaranteed a discount, and of course you'll get enough financial aid to pay for everything. Of course you can get 3 hours away, even if you have to leave most of your belongings behind and get on a bus, there's a way to get there. But if you're going to take a defeatist attitude and throw your hands up in the air and cry about it, you will end up on welfare forever. And since I refuse to pay for that, get your butt in school :)

Answer 6

Check with the school - they may have an on campus daycare center for students to use. This service is available at many schools and may have reduced rates for individuals on government assistance.

Given that the distance of the school is an issue for you, perhaps you could investigate other school opportunities closer to your current home?

Also, I would encourage you to speak with your doctor regarding your feelings of depression. Some of them may be situational, due to your difficult circumstances, but its also possible that you're experiencing some post-partum depression.

Regarding the father - the child support agency in your state may be able to help track him down. He certainly has an obligation to help provide support to your child, and it couldn't hurt to investigate that option (if you haven't already).

Answer 7

Are your parents alive?

Can you get help from them?

I would recommend contacting the school. They often offer daycare services.

I would also recommend moving closer to school asap.

As far as reputable babysitters, talk to other women...ANY women who you see with little babies. Ask them if they can recommend a good babysitter. That is how I found mine, and I love her.

Answer 8

hopefully other young girls will see how screwed your life is and stop having sex at such a young age.