are they still bridesmaids iffff?

Question

i have 5 bridesmaids.. but my husband-to-be has 3 groomsmen.. I am going to get all my bridesmaids to walk down the isle but then have two bridesmaids sit down (in front row), so i have only my moh and sisters standing next to me for the ceremony.. At the reception because the place i have chosen (river cruiser) will only fit three bridesmaids with us and the groomsmen, these girls will have their own table with their boyfriends right next to mine, they will still be walking down the isle, will be in the bridal party photos, will do speeches etc.. just not actually standing next to me or sitting with me for the reception
Do you think the girls will be offended with this?

Answer 1

If I was one of the "sitting down" bridesmaids I would not be offended. I'd be relieved to be sitting down during the ceremony and still be a bridesmaid!!!

If they do feel a bit miffed, perhaps ask them if they would like to do a reading for you.

I think it sounds great. Talk to the two bridesmaids who will be sitting and see what they think.

They ARE still bridesmaids.

Answer 2

Well, they may be a little if this was not told to them before hand - but it would be rude to "unask" them. Just talk to them - explain the situation and ask if they are okay with that.

Just a thought though - for the ceremony - you could also have just the Best Man and MOH standing, and have the rest of wedding party all sitting so that those two don't feel singled out. It would also be perfectly acceptable to have everyone standing even if the numbers don't match.

Another option for the seating arrangements as well would be to have the MOH, Best Man and parents seated at the head table, and have all of the wedding party seated at tables right next to you. That not only honors your parents, but once again, keeps two girls from being singled out. It is actually quite common in some areas to have the parents instead of the wedding party at the head table.

Answer 3

I think they might be offended. But my solution is not to get more groomsmen, but to include all of your bridal party equally in everything that you do. If you are having a problem with not enough guys to escort the bridesmaids, you could have a couple of guys escort two girls at a time.

If you haven't asked the extra girls to be bridesmaids yet, you might consider asking them to be "usher-ettes." They would have the specific job of helping you tremendously on the day of the wedding by escorting guests to their seats. This way they feel that they have an actual purpose, and are not ackward on the side and unsure of what their role is. They could even get matching dresses that coordinate nicely with the wedding party so that they can be included in pictures, but won't feel embarrassed if they are not asked to sit at a seperate table, or sit down during the ceremony.

Also, think about what your guests will be thinking when they see two of your bridesmaids walking down the isle and then sitting for the ceremony. Some might not think anything of it, but then others might think it is a little weird.

It's up to you because it is your wedding. Hopefully I offered some helpful advice or suggestions. Have a fabulous wedding!!

Answer 4

I think they would probably be a bit offended, its really not fair to have the bridal party separated. I can guarantee that they will be thinking "why did we pay this money to not really be involved", even though you say they will be in the photos etc.

Put them up at the alter with you, no one will worry if its not symetrical, for the reception, you and your husband sit at the head table alone, and the entire bridal party at a table next to it, no one will be put out then.

Just have a think of how it would make you feel if it was to happen to you, going to all the effort to be there and not really be included

----Addition-----

Just worked out ur an aussie Rose - tradition isnt as bit a deal for us. Have your 5 bridesmaids it wont matter if there are more on 1 side than the other.

I would definately look at just having a separate table for all the bridal party, it wont make anyone feel left out at all.

Answer 5

People are silly. It's your wedding. If you want symmetry, you should get it. If you explain to your friends that you only want family beside you, I can't see how they would be offended. Just say it's a FAMILY thing. However, don't think you HAVE to have an even three on each side for the ceremony - I've seen plenty of weddings with uneven numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids, it'll be fine! But if the even three is what you want I think your friends should understand. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think those 2 bridesmaids will be offended quite a bit.
By the way, you're saying that you'll have 2 bridesmaids sit down so that only your mom and sisters are standing next to you for the ceremony -- Does that mean that your mom and your 2 sisters are your bridesmaids? If this is the case and you've invited 2 unrelated women in addition to them, it's wrong to segregate them in favor of your relatives. It'd be much better to think of a non-offensive excuse and un-invite the 2 "surplus" bridesmaids.

Answer 7

Since they are going to be sitting, why not give them a special job such as getting to do a reading of a verse at the wedding or something like that?? That way, they'll feel that they are not excluded. I'd also as a point of courtesy at the reception stand up to thank everyone for coming and make a point of mentioning all your bridesmaids by name with a quick word of thanks to each.

Answer 8

People get so hung up about this, yes they are still bridesmaids, and no it does not matter where they sit, if they are good friends then they will understand this and not moan about it, they are still involved in the Big Day in the same way, if they get offended by something so minor then they aren't true friends.

Answer 9

Yes the ywouldbe offended. Because they are doing all the bridesmaids dutites but they don't get recognized as bridesmaids. i would be upset, either your fiance' find two more groomsmen or tell them everything you told us and if they don't like tit tell them they can't be in the wedding, if they do then all his fine.

Answer 10

I think they would feel offended. In a way it would hurt my feelings, but I would also understand that it is out of your control and if you pick anyone it should be your sisters. I dont think you should have them sit down on the front row, I think you should still have them standing up with you. Congrats.