I have 4 children and my oldest daughter and one of my twin daughters didn't so much as call me for Mother's Day. I have helped both of them countless times. My oldest daughter married a man who is bisexual and very controlling - I don't like his ways. She had 2 children before they were married and he doesn't like them and it shows. The twin has an illness that will eventually kill her - I have also helped her countless times. I was a single mother with 4 children and I worked 3 jobs in order to continue our lifestyle when my ex-husband left. Should I write them each a letter and cut them off? I am hurting so badly because of this (not suicidal - just hurt).
2007-05-14 16:22:33 · 15 answers · asked by gdaniel_98 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow... I am so sorry that this happened to you. It is not fair and adult children should know better than to treat their Mom like this. I think that a letter would be a good idea and cutting them off a better idea. If they cannot appreciate you one day out of the year then why should be able to use you the other 364? Just one thing, hold off on writing the letters for a day or two so that your kids don't pass them off as "emotional Mom venting", really think about what you want to say and say it in an unemotional way if possible. That way they will know that you are serious. For those of us who don't have Moms walking this earth anymore, Mothers Day cuts deep and I, for one, cannot understand anyone treating their Mom this way. So, from me to you... Happy Mothers Day and may every day until the next one bring you joy, peace and love.
2007-05-14 16:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by hippiemommy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only you know the real issue here. So you helped them countless times, so what? Isn't that what people do for each other? Maybe you're not telling the whole story?
When my mother passed we departed with less than love. All I ever did was work very hard and earn everything I own. Never once was I given a break. whereas my sister was given everything. Does she have a much easier life? You bet she does? Is there resentment? You bet there is. Why do mother's do what they do? I haven't a clue. I was too scared to have my own children and screw them up.
2007-05-14 16:30:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
the suitable project which you're able to do is tell her how she is appearing. Don' stress her to do something, she'll in all probability rebellion. in simple terms tell her that it hurts you to have her appearing like that in direction of you. perhaps that's the reality that she has a boyfriend. various cases whilst every person is in a relationship, they concentration their existence purely on their significant different. attempt taking her someplace which you may the two savour. it ought that may well be useful you the two understand one yet another extra helpful and alter into closer.
2017-01-09 21:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain however they are your children and know parent should turn there back on there children no matter what !!! Just distance yourself from them let them know you love them and the hurt they are causing you and you need to distance yourself from them , sounds to me they are grown up now and you need to start living again for yourself enjoy yourself know from what u have said you did what you had to do and you did a good job raising your daughters but now its your time for you !! Don't think its your fault at all , they will eventually come around and need you just don't let them use you when they need you and toss you to the side when they don't only you have that power to do that !!! be supportive but don't be a doormat :) good luck
2007-05-14 16:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by yoursandmine05 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some people dont find mothers day important esp if they are not mothers or they get cought up with there own children that they forget why dont you think outside of they box why they might not have called was there a heated argument the last time and why cant you call an do lunch dont let one day hurt you an upset you children tend to let down also stop helping them let them go on there own an have a adult relationship with your children not a parent child one
2007-05-14 16:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry. That must hurt so badly. I don't know why they ended up this way. I believe the only thing you can do is to do all you can to raise them right; what happens to them when they become adults is not your fault.
I wouldn't bother writing them letters and cutting them off. Just don't contact them and when they contact you let them know how hurt you are.
2007-05-14 17:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a little selfish and self-righteous girl! Your children are probably hurting and like you said, they are both suffering greatly in their own lives. IT isn't all about YOU! You probably weren't the best Mom and they are holding a grudge for it. Give them some time, try to show them more love than you are showing them right now and things will get better. Don't be selfish. Think about them.
2007-05-14 17:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them your feelings ,and that they only come around when they need something and that is hurting your feelings . Stop helping them.. Your children are grown and should figure out there own problems Your job is done MOM You've been working hard all your life It.s your time now .Take the money you would give to them and spend it on yourself. You deseve it....kitkatz04
2007-05-14 16:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, my sister is doing the same thing to both my mother and me. My theory is, she's an unhappy person and doesn't like the choices that she's made, but it's easier for her to project that onto us than to admit she's unhappy with herself. It's her problem, and it's better for me to not be around her right now. I understand it's different when it's your own child, and to cut them off would not be easy, but my preacher once said in our Sunday school class that sometimes, for your own personal well being, you have to remove yourself from the relationship while leaving the door open. In other words, it's toxic for you to be around them right now, but let them know you are always ready when they want to have a productive relationship with you.
2007-05-14 17:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by An Inconvenient Thinker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look I do the same thing to my dad because he hurt me so much when I was growing up. I don't know your history but maybe you don't realize something you did when they were growing up that hurt them internally so bad that they arent able to deal with it. I am now 30 and have voiced my anger at my dad and still did little to help our relationship. Not much help here but things from the past do haunt us and you may not see it but they obviously remember something
2007-05-14 20:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋