How can I learn to love me again? For awhile now I hate how my body is , I dont like my voice, my own personality gets on my own nerves to the point I want to hurt myelf. I cant seem to accept me and I dont know how. It all sounds soooo stupid but somehow things are like this now.
2007-05-14 16:11:59 · 25 answers · asked by b 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i feel the same way . but we cant give up because we might miss out on something great in our life . just sit back with me and well watch and see how our lives turn out. but never ever hurt yourself.
2007-05-14 16:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by william w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you're feeling low. There is a way out. A couple ways, actually.
You sound pretty smart, and you took the time to use proper English in your letter (how rare and wonderful!!), so I'm going to recommend a "smart person's" way out.
There's a book, called "Feeling Good", by David Burns. He teaches you how the brain works, and why it sometimes sends you these crazy self-hating messages. Better yet, he tells you how to stop them.
Some of the book is a tiny bit technical, but most of it is very understandable, and has real, paper and pen types of exercises to help you do the maintenance that your brain occasionally need. Don't be ashamed to do work on it! Even cars made by computers need maintenance! You can skip any technical stuff that sounds boring, and still get the benefit of the book by doing the exercises.
You'll find that book in Psychology or Self-help sections of a library or book store. It's a very useful technique, called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and can be used for more than just depression.
It worked wonders on a bad depression I had a while ago. I feel great now. I hope you do soon.
2007-05-14 23:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by The Avatar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound stupid. Not at all. In fact, it sounds familiar.
There are a few things you can do. One is to consider that you might be suffering from depression. It might be best to consult your physician about that. There are medications that can help IF that's the case. However, I'm not a believer in being medicated. That's just me.
If you are able to recognize that there's a problem, that's a good place to start. When I was feeling like this, I read. A lot. I read books about self esteem and feeling better about who I was. For me, that helped. I talked to people.
Now, I admit that my depression isn't as deep as my boyfriend's. He felt and sometimes feels exactly as you do. However, he's made great strides in four years toward trying to see himself differently.
It isn't an easy process. We've had to find practical ideas and behaviors that help work through it. We've talked about not referring to ourselves negatively and giving ourselves a chance. We've both struggled to find features or our personalities and bodies that we are OK with, or that we even like.
For instance, I'm fat. I have no problem saying this. And I'm considered morbidly obese. This is not me ripping on myself. It is clinical fact. But it does bother me sometimes, and I get down on myself because of it.
But being fat doesn't make me who I am. It certainly is a part of who I am, but I also happen to have great hair. I get compliments on it all the time. So, I recognize that there are parts of me that I do and don't like. And I give myself credit for being pretty cool in some areas.
It has taken me since high school to get to this point.
I know this is long and rambling, but I hope it helps, if even a little. If you want, please e-mail if you need someone to talk to.
But don't hurt yourself. It solves nothing. Trust me.
2007-05-14 23:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all tap into some resources in your community. Find out if there are any women's empowerment groups going on. Also, consider getting into some counseling. Start journaling by honoring what you are feeling and working your way back. I have a problem with this too and have been working on myself for about a year now. I am amazed at how far I have come. Check into books by Iyanla Vanzant...she is pretty awesome.
2007-05-14 23:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by angelfish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may (1) have turn to the habit of seeing mostly your negative bits or being too strict on yourself, or (2) be suffering from depression (in such case you need to see a doctor).
In the 1st case, this may have been caused by something in which you failed -or you think you failed- but somehow cannot accept such outcome. I´d tell you to exercise introspection and identify what causes you to get intolerant or too strict towards yourself and try to see it from a more accepting, relaxed point of view. One of the wonders of our world is that, with effort and patience, we can improve virtually anything. Give yourself a chance :-)
2007-05-14 23:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by vachavc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre feeling like this because youre comparing yourself to other people. You dont like your body because you see better bodies etc.. stop doing that! just think of how beautiful God made you and accept it, hating yourself wont do anything but make you miserable and when youre miserable you start to look ugly and mean, people wont want to approach you etc. Walk with confidence maybe read some inspirational books, focus on your future goals and stop looking at what other people have and you dont, because although it seems like the grass is greener on their end...IT SELDOM IS.
2007-05-14 23:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Heaven L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can only take it a day at a time. Someone told me that for every negative thing you think of yourself, you try to say 2 things positive. Also, this sounds funny, but it helps more that you know...try to do something nice for someone. When you don't like yourself, then doing good things only brings joy, you can't help but to feel better. Try it. One thing. ;) I'm going to take my own advise too.
2007-05-14 23:20:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate, I'm like that myself.
Instead of looking into the mirror, and thinking about your arms or stomach, or the crookedness that is your teeth, think about the gorgeous eyes that you have, or the way you look in this shirt/those jeans.
Focus on the good and not the bad.
2007-05-14 23:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not stupid. It just means your human and you shouldn't feel ashamed of how you feel. One thing you should ask yourself is whether you feel like you hate your entire being or parts of yourself or aspects of your personality. Think about that, then find a counselor. It's too much to handle on your own.
2007-05-14 23:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by holacarinados 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont talk like that girl love your self be happy the way the lord made you love your voice be happy that you have one I am happy within my self I have gain weight I dont look the same way I look when I was in my teens and twenty I bet your beautiful look in the mirror and say i am beautiful ten time and dont try to please other people please your self the hell what other people say and dont let nobody tell you different hold your head high and do your thing girl
2007-05-14 23:49:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋