11 years ago I fell hard for a girl who didint feel the same but stuck around to sponge me dry almost like a sugar daddy with out the fun times , I caught her lying to me (living with a guy in another state me footing the bill). I cut her out of my life didnt think much about her for 9 yrs now but also gave up in finding anyone havnt "dated" went out to meet anyone . again wasnt thinking anything about her or being lonely until recently . Now I think I might still have feelings for her How sick is that !
2007-05-14 15:13:23 · 12 answers · asked by Rick 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK I guess that you think that I want her back:::::: nope I dont its just that until recently it had not bothered me . Im wondering why it is now I dont intend to seek her out .
2007-05-14 15:24:51 · update #1
Again folks Ive not given her a second thought my energys have been else where until the past few days its not like Ive been pining away hopeing that she comes back to me and really dont wish to seek her out it just that in remembering and thinking about the old days I realized that I might still have feelings for her back in the day I went thought the grieveing process sorrow, anger hate then forgiveness then I went on with the job of life until now yes now and then Ive wondered what ever became of her but never wanted to really find out
2007-05-14 15:43:45 · update #2
Sweetie,deep down subconciously,despite all the anger we may have we love each and everyone of our ex partners.Believe it or not,we give a piece of our heart to each of them,and you cant simply take it back and stop those feelings as our hearts dont work that way.
Also,you are lonely,and now more than ever you are going to remember those times.However,you got to get out there.Dont commit yourself to a particular girl,but get into the dating scene.Date inexclusively as you have been out of the "dating scene" for quite some time now.This will help you get a general idea as to what you are really looking for in a female,as well as a relationship.This also,can help you learn new things about yourself that you may not have known.Your best bet,instead of jumping directly into the "club hopping" would be to speak to your friends.Ask them if they know any friends,or if their friends know any friends,and go on blind dates.I know,many think they are ridiculous.Although,I think this would be key for you.Keep it simple,a meal and a show or a meal and just hang out or go play pool or something just to mingle.Make sure they are aware you are not looking to commit immediately,and that you will be dating around.Also,expect that in return.I dont believe you will have a problem with dating...but beware of the golddiggers.They are the ladies who walk up to you in clubs and say.."You want to buy me a drink"...when that is the first line,RUN!They are wanting to see if you will buy them things.Just enjoy good conversation,hang out,eat and mingle.This will generally get you back into the dating game.Dont worry,just relax and take it easy and slow.Good luck hun,and have a good night!!
2007-05-14 15:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can top your story. I actually married a man who quit his job 5 weeks later. He never came home. I paid all the bills, worked 2 jobs. He vanished regularly almost from the day I married him, never came home. I kept money in a bank and he emptied the account over and over again. He stole money out of my purse, chased other women. He locked me out of the garage. He spent everything I had to live on and it was so bad I had my car reposessed and had nothing to drive. I made over $90K that year. He made $0 and his parents blamed me. I am so ashamed I never talk about it. It was my mistake. I learned the hard way. There is a lot of us out there. I have nothing but contempt for him. I hate his guts.
You have a longing for what could have been, not what really was. Your not sick, just lonely. You will fall in love again.
2007-05-14 15:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bro, What is wrong with you? C'mon she used you. I think that the only reason you are still thinking of her is because you fell so hard for her when you thought she was special. Believe me...forget about her and move on...its not going to happen.
Heres what you do....destroy all remnents of her...pictures,clothes,poems,letters..ect,ect. And go out somewhere. Go to a bar with your friends, to the movies,anywhere...just don't think about her anymore. The first thing you need to do in this situation is let go and direct your attention elsewhere. Your much to good for this girl and you seem to be a good guy....only because you put up with her for as long as you did. A girl is looking for a nice guy.....trust me I know.
If your too nervous to go out. Try online personals. It has become socially acceptable and there is no embarassment in it. This also helps because you get to lay out your personality first. Bro, Don't get back with this girl no matter what the situation...It is bad news for you!!!!!
2007-05-14 15:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Willie-D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the crap dude. She probably has 14 kids and a single wide trailer that has weeds growing up the side of it. And she is eating out of the same bowl the person she is doing it with is eating of. A German Shepard. Go find a hot Asian.
Hallelujah Holla Back
2007-05-14 15:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by seminole0885 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just read six answers. sorry. after my first marriage, i was alone for about thirteen years. i tried dating a few times. that was sad. most women i met had such dramas it wasn´t funny. one woman told me that if i wanted her to build her a house. i never got around to it.
one day, while checking my yahoo email, some one just popped up on my screen and said "hello" my answer was, "who are you and what do you want?" that was five years ago. we have been married for two years now.
you never know when you will meet some one. or how you will meet them. don´t worry. hang in there. and Don´t do any thing Stupid, like bed the first women who looks at you. you never know what you might be getting in to. get to know her first. i did, took me three years after meeting her.
It Was Worth It. we are very Happy.
2007-05-14 15:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by FarmerCec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have feelings for what you thought/hoped could be, and not actually for the real her.
It is normal to feel saddened by something or someone that didn't turn out as you had hoped or wanted or planned, and over that long a period of time it could be the feelings returning because of what you had hoped for in the past.
2007-05-14 15:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you like being crapped on? That's what she did to you. She obviously didn't deserve you and anything that belonged to you, including your money.
Straighten yourself out man! Dust yourself off and get off your knees. There are PLENTY of women out there who can appreciate a caring man such as yourself.
Forget her and move on!
2007-05-14 15:17:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lidya D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats pretty bad; brush it off Bud and get back in the game, before you find out its to late!!!! be happy someone like that is not in your life now!
2007-05-14 15:27:04 · answer #8 · answered by Back Attcha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obsessive, actually. And sad to see you wasting years on this person. Counseling would probably help. Seriously. Don't let any more time slip away on this obsession.
2007-05-14 15:17:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That sucks, my advice. Find some one new, why would she want to go out with you after nine years??? Go out and find someone else.
2007-05-14 15:16:52 · answer #10 · answered by Skye 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋